Traces of love, long ago, that didn't work out.

[Love Aint--Cunninlynguists]

I freaking love this song.

Today was...weird. This week has been so damn slow, even though Monday was off. My brain has completely numbed out. It's all the same thing, every day; the same boring material going in one ear and out the ear. There are only certain times I feel like I'm really there.

In advisory, Moo decided he'd talk to Lolo, who I was right next to. He has this bad habit of talking to people right next to me and just completely ignoring me. But today he actually spoke to me! To accuse me of still liking him. Yeah.

And then he just completely didn't get it when both Lolo and I said I didn't. He seemed gratified that I admitted I liked him in sixth grade. In. Sixth. Grade. Not now. Not even close.

I really do believe he thinks I still like him. He's conceited like that.

Though I can't judge, considering who I really do like.

[Rag Doll--Aerosmith]

And the weirdest thing happened in LA. I was turning to look at Mrs. Halden and, naturally, I looked at Basil, and he was looking right at me. Seriously. I know SOME PEOPLE *coughallmyfriends* will say he was probably looking at someone near me, but I swear on all that is holy, he. was. looking. at. me.

Freaky.

[High Road--Fort Minor]

These songs I'm listening to? Songs I HAVE TO GET. Genius (on iTunes) suggested them and I made a playlist from it. AWESOMENESS.

[Not Good Enough for the Truth in Cliche--Escape the Fate]

GESS WUT. I'm gonna have a HALLOWEEN PARTY! Ch'yea.

Well, kinda. So far I've invited Tiff, Happy, Ani, Nat, Lolo, Kim and Silver to come over for Halloween and GO TRICK OR TREATING AND THEN HAVE A SLEEPOVER. Yeah, awesome, I know. AND MY MOM SAID YES. yessssssssssssssssssss. Yay. 'Sgunna be sooooo awesome!

Imma be a cat for Halloween XP

[Hands Up--Lloyd Banks]

For some reason I think Basil would like this song. Huh. Methinks I shall post it to Facebook.

I. Want. To. Talk. To. Kim.

Because Nat has given me express instructions to 'shut the eff up about basil' -.-

Okay, so I do talk about him too much. It's what I think about. All the time. Gah.
My singing lessons are not going well X(

Baby it's cold outside.

GAH. I never want to write again.
DRAMA STARTED. Oh, hallelujah. This year Silver can't join but Nat is, and then Ani and Jenci were already there, and YAY! Oh, and Basil is joining again this year :) And apparently Apple. Huh. Strange world.

glitter-graphics.com

This year we're doing Aladdin :D which I think I already mentioned. So, naturally, I'm listening to A Whole New World, which is quite possibly one of my favorite Disney songs of all time.

I think I got the monolague down...I just need to work on pitch X( That would be singing, for those slower people out there. I'm the absolute WORST singer, which wouldn't matter if I didn't want an actual PART this time.

You may wonder why I care this time. Well, let me illuminate:

Yes. I'm pathetic.
Okay, look. I'm not stupid. I know I'm not going to get Jasmine. But I feel the urge to try extra-hard, okay? I just hope HE doesn't get Aladdin.

I don't know how to cook hot dogs.

Faug.

Who's the greater sin?

I got my notebook! It's a poetry notebook, by the way. I think I'll post it on my poetry blog, and-z.blogspot.com. If anyone wants to read...

[Hot-n-Cold--Katy Perry]

I completely and utterly don't want to see Basil tomorrow. I don't want to see his black eyes that are actually just really dark brown but I wouldn't know because I've never seen them close-up. I don't want to see his grin when he flirts with his girl-of-the-day.

I really, really don't want to see Marisa anywhere near him. Actually, I wish she'd decide she hated him and never wanted to see him again. Maybe he'd know how I feel.

But I digress.

I have a feeling my friends are tired of me talking about him, but honestly, I have nothing else to talk about. He occupies my mind all the time. Maybe if he didn't hate me I wouldn't talk about him so much.

Gah. I'm doing it again.

[I Kissed a Girl--Katy Perry]

I keep thinking that if we were partnered in something--I dunno, like a French project, even though we don't have the same French class--that he'd realize I wasn't worth hating. But honestly, that wouldn't change anything. We'd spend the entire time being awkward or silent and talking to our friends.

Gah. I'm out of ideas. G'bye.

I won't say I love you.

[Time is Running Out--Muse]

Five songs. Five songs that remind me of him. I can't stop listening to them.

There's something terribly wrong with me.

1. 
   
   Jump by Flo Rida - He posted it on Facebook and I actually really, really like it. So I bought it. And now I can see him in the lyrics.
   
   
   
2. 
   
   Just the Girl by The Click Five - According to Kim, one of his statuses. I actually already liked this song, I just hadn't bought it, and because he liked it I kinda had to. I really, really hate that. I'm also not having very friendly feelings toward Marisa, the object of his fixation, though I guess that's unfair.
   
   
   
3. 
   
   Don't Stay by Linkin Park - Another one of his statuses, but I already had this song. Iamsofreakingthrilled he likes Linkin Park. Anything we have in common is a good thing. And it makes me wonder who this is directed towards...I remember feeling this way about Vera and it was horrible. Or maybe he just likes it. I don't know. Being the paranoid person I am, I keep thinking it's pointed at me, but I know that's not true because I've reached the status of 'doesn't exist, NEVER HAS!' in his book.
   
   
   
4. 
   
   Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine - I was putting together this playlist when the song came up, and I decided almost instantly to add it. I don't even know why--I don't understand half the lyrics--but it reminds me of him. Maybe not him, though. Something. It's slow and sad and sweet.
   
   
   
5. 
   
   Time Is Running Out by Muse - This has been his theme song for quite some time. It describes my fixation on him almost perfectly, and some of the anger behind it. And it's a freaking awesome song.
   
   
   

Gah. I'm pathetic.

[Just the Girl--The Click Five]

Well, my mom dragged me along with her while she hung with her friend Jody, which I won't go into much because I'd rather gauge out my eyeballs with white-hot pokers. But the one highlight of the trip was going to Staples while they perused Walmart.

I love Staples SO FREAKING MUCH.

I have an obsession with notebooks and journals. A clean page is magical to me; the pen becomes a wand and I can do anything. I saw this amazing notebook for $3.99 and a gorgeous journal for $7.99. CAN WE SAY BUY?

[Flightless Bird, American Mouth--Iron&Wine]

Unfortunately, I'd left my purse in the locked van, which was also across the parking lot, so buy it I did not. I WILL, though. Tomorrow.

It's all faux-leather, reddish brick, with a compass outdent (as opposed to indent) on it. I freaking LOVE IT. And I'm gonna out GUESGUESSGUESS. Poems in it! Yeah, I'm that cool.

As for the notebook, I just want to have it, and it's so deliciously cheap.

There were also some nice pens.

[Don't Stay--Linkin Park]

I'm adding pictures, in case you haven't noticed. Emphasis my point and all. Wanna comment? Or even follow? Pleeeeeeeeeeeease? See, you've resorted me to begging.

But it doesn't hide the truth.

They were a strange group, lost between the folds of thrashing seas and love stories and mascara. There was an eerily mature girl, struggling through an uphill battle, but filled with the laughter of a child; an invisible celebrity who wanted nothing but people, all around her, all the time; a girl with dry humour but caught up in her own blatant ordinariness; a girl obsessed with being anybody else, who insisted she was nobody bu herself; and boys, all boys. Boys that were like the dark side of the moon, like burning suns trapped behind a wall of the pressing shyness of every girl on the wrong side, who lived in a constant new moon and longed to see the light. It all flowed perfectly, almost too perfectly, like a dream, like a story, and they were all trapped inside, like flowers trapped and pressed between the pages of a book.

-

You like?

[Feel Good Drag--Anberlin]

Sometimes it feels surreal. Like there's so many moods, ever shifting, inside my head, and I can only grasp certain things at a time, and there are never words to describe anything at all. It's...faint.

Hah. Fun word decision.

I love words. Eloquent words. Long words. Short words. Abrupt, harsh, painful words. Dream words. Soft, enticing words. Words that make you feel something changing, deep within your soul. Words that caress you, leave you stunned, leave you exhausted by the sheer weight they possess.

So you can't call me material.

JUST DANCE, GUNNA BE OKAY! DA-DA-DOO-DOO-DA JUST DANCE! SPIN THAT RECORD, BABE! DA-DA-DOO-DOO JUST DANCE, DANCE, DANCE J-J-J-J-J-JUST DANCE!

:D

:D:D:D:D

I freakin' love dances.

Happy COULD go, and Heather and Kim were there too, and I actually got along with Ringo! Strange world. I feel so bad for Heather; she looked awesome, but she was so afraid of dancing. Heck, she couldn't do much worse than me, I looked like an "awkward penguin" (thanks Kim). OoOoOoOoO, and Kim danced with a boy! A cute boy named Shane! Hoo-rah! Awesome night!

Oh, and Basil was wearing a yellow shirt with flowers on it XD As in a Hawaiian shirt, people. He is the freaking BEST dancer. I really shouldn't watch him though :)

I get SUPER hyper at these things. I managed to down a soda in A MINUTE AND 36 SECONDS, and I feasted upon sour-straws and had ANOTHER soda and danced like a moron and screamed a lot and OH MY GOD IT WAS SO FUN. And, God forbid I say this, but I think it was better without Silver, Ani, Nat, and Lolo. It was me, Kim, Happy, Heather, and even Ringo, and it was like a completely different set of friends and thus a completely different attitude...I loved it. It was amazing and awesome and I LOVE DANCES.

I don't know why I bother. You're obviously all dead.

I love how clear the air is today. How the sunlight fills it even in the twilight. How the blue sky seems infinite.

I'm capable of getting along with anybody, simply by willing myself not to be rude.

DANCE TONIGHT.

And now, with that completely indiscreet segue, I will begin.

ANI AND NAT ARE NOT GOING TO THE DANCE. WTF. WTFWTFWTF. And Lolo might not either. And Happy's parents probably won't let her; she hasn't called yet (we'll be picking her up if she can). But Heather and Kim are going, which is AWESOME, because now I won't be COMPLETELY alone. Gah.

Why do I want to go, you ask? Because it goes against everything I'm about to miss the first dance of the year.

And I kinda get the feeling that something's gonna happen. Or maybe I just wish something would. But I'm not one to take chances.

Connor asked me to the dance XD

RELAX, NONEXISTENT READERS. I'm 99.9% percent sure he was kidding. You see, we were on the bus, talking about how Vera couldn't go to the dance (I think), and Connor asks: Will you go to the dance with me?

I'm very proud of myself here, because I actually thought about my answer, and instead of saying "um...no", I said: I don't think Kylie would appreciate that much. [He and Kylie were going out.]

We broke up.

This is where I freak out (kinda) because NO ONE TOLD ME THEY BROKE UP AND THEY WERE A SUPER-CUTE COUPLE. Anyway. I think somewhere in the following conversation he repeated his question, but he must not have heard me, because he asked again, and I said no, and he was like "You're not going with me?" and I was like "No...." and he was like "That's really mean." Then Happy clears up that yes, I am going to the dance, just not with him. Then he proceeds to ask Happy.

I know weird people.

I'M GOING TO WEGMANS AND SHOPRITE AND ACME ON SATURDAY WITH LOLO, HAPPY, AND RINGO TO SEE IF THEY'LL BE NICE PEOPLE AND DONATE SOMETHING TO OUR SPECTACULAR BAKESALE EXTRAVANGANDA IN TWO WEEKS. Ch'yea.

This is a gift; it comes with a price. Who is the lamb and who is the knife?

[Rabbit Heart--Florence+The Machine]

Basil is ten kinds of hot. Seriously. I like staring at him.

Haha. "Ten kinds of hot."

I keep blogging with nothing to blog about. Huh.

Well, Halloween is drawing nearer, and I think I might be a cat! Yes, a cat. Shut up cuzyoucan'tthinkofanythingbetter. I just need a tail, ears, and black makeup.

[Boulevard of Broken Dreams--Green Day]

I have plenty of black clothes, trust me. Actually, I have two options for the bottom. Black skinny jeans that I hate? Or my swirl-tacular black skirt with black stockings that would make me look like a down-played whore? Desicions, desicions.

It's not like my skirt is short, or anything. Heavens, no! I'm just worried that, with stockings, it'd look like I was trying to hard, when really I just don't like showing my legs (let's raise one for modesty).

Huh. I think I'll also get black gloves, cut the tops off, and put on awesome fake nails :D It's really hard to do anything with them, but heck, it'll be worth it! I actually have some black fakies upstairs that I never used, so that's all taken care of.

I AM BRILLIANT.

And now I can't wait till Halloween.

This is a bit like what I'll look like.

Aah.

Well. Today Basil mouthed at me "I love you". The sad thing is he has no idea how he's hurting me. He has no clue. I wish I could tell him.

[Eyes on Fire--Blue Foundation]

Just so ya know, he was doing that to everyone. I'm not sure what exactly my expression was...I think I started to smile, then decided not to and squashed that grin before it could reveal how much I wished he meant it, and it turned into more of a grimace. I was not in the mood for laughing at him. I'm still not.

But, in other news, I got two more shirts :D And Ani decided not to be mad at me anymore. I don't think she ever really was.

Imma go write now.

Hah. This entry sucked. COMMENT AND IT WON'T.
Oh, and what should I be for Halloween? Any suggestions? Anyone? Wow.

The two of us walk out together under ancient trees, lie down again and again in the flowers, face to face with the sky.

Wellwellwell. Today was an interesting/weird/bad day. I think I'll start off with Basil.

YES! I had Basil-contact today! Alert the media. And it was fairly disturbing.

This is how it went down: You know that sign for...er...well it's a finger on each side of your mouth and, uh, tongue-waving? Gosh I feel like such a perv describing it. Anyway you know what it means? Ew.

GUESS WHO DID THAT TO ME. Guess. Just guess.

Ickyboy: Hey Strawberry, Basil wants you.

I look over, confused, heart racing.

*BASIL DOES DISGUSTING SIGN THINGY*

Of course, at the time I had no idea what it meant, so I just started giggling because it looked funny.

GAH.

Anyway. Onto my next topic.

Ani is being majorly uncool. Remember Hans? Ani's 'boyfriend'? Well Nat decided to be nice and tell me ANI WAS LYING. So, after confronting her with this and her STILL saying it was true, I went up to Hans in lunch and ASKED HIM IF HE KNEW HER. CAN YOU GUESS WHAT HE SAID? CAN YOU?

I'll give you a hint. No.

And then SHE had the AUDACITY to be mad at ME!

Surely you see what's wrong with this equation.

I had a weird day.

And for some reason I keep wanting to refer to Basil as my boyfriend.

GAHGAHGAH.
Sorry for the craptastic posting lately. Nothing very interesting has happened so far, except for this. Hmm. Maybe I'd be more inspired to blog if SOMEONE BLOGGED THEMSELVES.
Yeah. I'm talking to you.
I'm allergic to kiwi.

Universe closed. Use rainbow.

Heh.

[I'm just writing this for a convenient subject-changer.]

I feel like hanging out with one of my friends today. If only they'd ANSWER THE FREAKING PHONE.

[Again!]

I love sunshine. I went outside this morning and it was just gorgeous...the cold air seeps under your skin and as the sunlight fills the air and...how can anyone think nature could be improved? It's perfect as it is.

I'll probably finish this later, when I've done something.

To look in your eyes and not look away; to be in your arms and still be awake.

Wow. Just wow.

If you read Nat's blog, you'd know about the AMAZINGLY hot seventh grader who she was going to 'bump in to' and become friends with. She chickened out, and then later, when she and Ani were at the bathroom, ANI ran in to HIM and HE ASKED HER OUT. OMFG.

So yeah. Bit strange there. His name's Aaron, my expert sources tell me. I think I'll call him Hans...like ANS...as in Ani's, then Nat's, then mine (Strawberry). I hope that boy has a twin.

...That's really all I had to say. TGIF!!!

I won't ease your strain; you'll be waiting in vain. I got nothing for you to gain.

[Spotlight--Mutemath]

This is so weird. His face is kinda like a drug. I just want to keep staring and staring at it......or maybe I'm just going insane.

I really hate vague, emotional blog entries that don't actually tell about a certain event, but how you feel about it. Confusing, much?

Much.

Anyway. Weirdest thing happened today. I was walking out of humanities, and Basil was like, first in line to go in. I didn't know he was there and I kinda turned and you know how when you accidentally catch someone's eye and it's like a hook keeping you there? I really couldn't turn my head at all. He looked kinda confused, and I must've looked freaked out, because I always do to a degree. But I don't know if the time slowed down or I did (probably the latter, I'll admit) but I know it did...freaky. His eyes are like, black.

[Go All The Way--Perry Farrell]

This song is weird.

[Eyes On Fire--Blue Foundation]

I don't agree with the whole "all's well that end's well" philosophy. It's like saying attempted murder doesn't matter because nobody actually died (yes, i know it does matter, but it's the only example i could think of. im running slow today).

Huh. I went to art club today! :D It was really, really fun. We paper-mached (i think that's spelled wrong...) a balloon to make a globe then cut up tissue paper. I was at the same table as Nat, Lolo, Tiff and Jenci, and Silver is coming next week. WOOT. Ch'yea.

Dude, I'm having the best lasagna for dinner.

[Supermassive Black Hole]

I'm auditioning for RTV (R*** TV...our school's eight-grade announcement system) because THEN I CAN JOIN DRAMA. I probably wouldn't have if Happy wasn't also auditioning, but everything's better with a friend. I dunno. I'm both terrified of people and I have MEGA stage fright. Not a good combination for newscasting. No, indeed.

G'bye.

F*CK.

[Music of the Night~Phantom of the Opera]

Crap. I like Marky Mark.

Henseforth known as M&M.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

That is all.

Well, not really. I have a feeling I've given Mrs. Halden too-high expectations of myself. On everything's she's assigned so far, I've written about writing. I just know I'll disappoint her on the next big assignment.

Huh. This is my plan: write a book or two, have it be bestseller, get a scholarship or several, and go to Princeton. It doesn't work like that, I know.

[Apocalypse Please--Muse]

After that, I don't know. I want a career. I want something to do with my time. I just don't know what.

I've compiled a list of guys I'd go out with if asked:

1. M&M.
2. Apple.
3. Frenchie.
4. Catman(?)
5. Moo (shaddup).

Notice Basil is not on that list. I don't know if I could handle him...after everything.

And guys I actually like:

1. Basil.
2. M&M.

Huh.

It's so weird how all my readers (except for Nat, Lolo, and Silver) have no faces to attach to these. Well, here.

M&M: He's kinda my height (5'2), with dark, lank brown hair, brown eyes, and pale-ish skin. And he's REALLY skinny. And he has this cool-guy slouch. And he talks to Ringo in humanities (oops. did i write that?)

I can't help wondering if my realization that I liked him came from my jealousy that he. talks. to. Ringo.

[Invincible--Disturbed]

Apple: Indian, I think. I dunno. He has dark-ish skin, a wide face, hang-ish dark brown hair, and is slightly taller than me. He's like the model student, cuz he's all popular, but he's also really smart.

Frenchie: Gawd. Dark hair, freckles, hazel eyes. I think he's exactly my height. He's kinda...I dunno...dreamy? Naw. Too gushy. But you get the idea.

Catman: He used to have long brown hiar, but now it's short and he looks like Christopher Robins. He's kinda cute, in a dorky way. And I don't mean endearing dorky. But he's not really awkward...it's hard to explain. He's actually pretty nice.

Moo: Hum. I actually don't think I would go out with him. He's kinda happy-go-lucky and has the. most. gorgeous. eyes. One time I said they were like pools with fish and grass...Nat and Lolo tortured me with that for months. Gawd.

[Sound of Pulling Heaven Down--Blue October]

Basil: You might know this already. He's all brilliant and hilarious and everything. Cappucino-ish skin, super-dark-unreadable eyes, dark hair. *dies* And he's really, really tall.

There ya go. For a little reference.

Depressive mood start NOW.

So I was bored this morning, and I bought the Twilight album! :D It's actually WAY better than I feared it would be. Robert Patterson shouldn't sing, but other than that, the album is gold! Hoo-rah! I don't get why it was described as emo, though, because it is so NOT emo, but whatever, I'm no critic.

[Flightless Bird, American mouth--Iron & Wine]

It's so great getting new music :)

NOW the depressive mood starts.

I'm sure we can all guess at the cause. He makes me feel...I dunno, like I'm not good enough. I've gone from wondering why I like him to wondering why no one else does. It's frustrating, feeling like I do.

[Bella's Lullabuy--Carter Burwell]

I dunno how Carter Burwell is, but he's has some mad skillz.

I hate days when nothing happens. It's...so...tedious. So very tedious. You have no idea how quickly I lose my mind.

I feel like I should blog more, because my entries have been so short and suckish lately. The problem is I have nothing to do but complain. I'm still waiting for them to reschedule the dance...argh. We are so much more important than sixth graders. Argh. Stupid canteen.

[Supermassive Black Hole--Muse]

I can type really fast.

[Supermassive Black Hole--Muse]

I'm thinking about getting the Twilight soundtrack. Actually, I'll probably listen to all the song first, because I simply don't buy songs without knowing if I like them. But that's a start. I absolutely ADORE Bella's Lullabuy.

Nightey-night.

I look around but I can't find you; if only I could see your face. I start rushing towards the skyline, I wish I could just be brave. I must become the lion-hearted girl ready for a fight before I make the final sacrifice.

[Rabbit Heart--Florence+The Machine]

Current favorite song, by the way.

I don't really have anything to blog about (except that I feel like I never see Basil anymore, though maybe it's just the difference from last year, when I had all my classes with him), so I'm going to blog about some characters.

I started writing this story, The Wrath of the King, mostly because I was watching The Lord of the Rings earlier and it always inspires me to write something epic. The two main protaginists, Casia and Anordas, where originally to be based on moiself and guess-who, but when I started writing, they kinda developed personalities of their own. Casia is compassionate, brave, and gentle, and Anordas has a tendency not to listen, but he's pretty mild-mannered, gets distracted easily, is good at surpressing emotion, and deeply admires Casia. It's, like, an instant connection at the start of the book.

I have three pages so far, but that's six in book form, and it's pretty good anyway. I write really, really slow.

I was curious to see if it would sound better in Latin.

EGO sum non unus ut narrow

infractus pectus pectoris vel verus diligo basium,

sed, amo battre de eternus procella,

est mos adeo mihi eventus,

pro diligo est a plures species res.

[Rabbit Heart--Florence+The Machine]

Lovely, isn't it? Heh, two words are in French (battre de). Betcha can't understand it at all.

Oh, and EGO is 'I', which I find majorly awesome.

I was curious to see if it would sound better in Latin, so I made up a random poem that was actually pretty bad and translated it. But "thrashing of" didn't translate in Latin, for some reason. Whatevs.

[Blinding--Florence+The Machine]

I want to get a degree in so many things. English literature, philosophy, film making, fashion+design (or interior design). And I want to take all the classes in high school. Business, art, drama, calculus, trig, physics. Not to put into use, but to simply to know. I'm eternally curious. I guess it's part of what fuels my desire to be a good student.

I'm not really a model student, though I could be. I've got the intelligence, the competitiveness, but not always the drive, and usually I just make stupid mistakes and forget my homework. If I really made an effort, joined a few more clubs, maybe even a sport, I'd be the golden-girl (academically. not socially).

[Dog Days Are Over--Florence+The Machine]

I love how everything can be turned into a fairytale. I love how I can see magic where there is none. Imagining makes me eternally happy.

Just so ya know.

Fairy-tale land.

My latest obsession: video cameras. I could so see myself documenting my life. Can we say AWESOME?

I dunno if I could bring it to school...I could lie to the principal and say I'm interesting in a career in film-making and it's a kind of personal project, and I won't be posting anything online, but they may stil be bothered. Huh. I couldn't see myself as a film-maker, but I've always thought half my stories would be better as movies. I'm a very visual person. Thoughts are overrated when they can be displayed.

Anyway. I don't know anything about camcorders, but the Kodak Zi8 Pocket Video Camera looks pretty nice, for all my purposes. And it's only $179.95. Of course, I don't know where I'd come up with 200 bucks, but one can dream.

I'm off to eat chili.

She's going out to forget they were together; all this time he was taking her for granted. She wants to see if there's more than he gave, she's looking for.

[I Don't Wanna Be In Love--Good Charlotte]

I'm listening to this song because it would probably be played at the dance that I will NOT be going to. Why not, you ask? Because there was a freaking power outage and it was cancelled.

GAR.

Anyway. Basil's head blocks my view to the board in LA. It's sad, really. The only view of him I get is his hair. Oh, and I almost ran into him twice today. GAH.

I don't really think I had a good day.

I feel really bad. I was talking to Heather again and she suggested we hang out over the weekend...I wanted to be her friend, but when she suggested it, I was suddenly very unenthused. I dunno. It just didn't sound...interesting.

[Just Dance--Lady GaGa]

I love making up people. It makes me feel important, somehow. Like on Sims 2. If I can't control my own life, I can very well control theirs!

G'bye.