Things Organized by Time Frame

Should I neatly separate everything into sections once more? Yeah, why not?

I Waste A Rather Inordinate Amount of Time

I finished Squares! I called it Squares because, you know. It's amazing how long it takes to make somehting so ugly. I only say ugly because it's so discordant, although I did use the same seven colors and there was gratious use of the copy button. There's a flipping lot of detail somewhat lost, although I think the overall impression is nice in a crazy, haphazard way.

Earlier this afternoon, I managed to waste time making a cartoon version of a picture of me before going outside to take advantage of the last moderately warm day. Maybe if I feel like wasting more time later, I'll finish it, and you can all see my...cartoon self? I KNOW you all want to see that.

This weekend I plan to waste time a) sleeping, and b) not doing work. On Saturday, I'm going to be tramping through undergrowth and hopefully having an ultimate showdown of badmintion with one of my gym buddies. It'll be fun! Tomorrow, I may just walk to the mall with Tegan if the weather's alright.

Things Which Happened Today

I finally had a course selection appointment with my guidance counselor. Unfortunately, I'm still not entirely clear on what I want to take. Right now, I'm doubling up with physics and chemistry, which unfortunately means that I have to take a study hall. I'm not even sure if I want to take chemistry, though. I love science, but I'm not really great at chemistry, as this year proves. I have a B, but I've done poorly on most of the tests, and Chemistry 2 is supposed to be ridiculously hard. At the same time, though, I've already mostly gotten through one year, so I might as well continue and get college credit for it. Also, I love science. People don't believe me when I say that!

So, I guess I'll deliberate over the weekend, but most likely I'll stick with my current schedule.

At the appointment, I found out that my chemistry teacher reccomended me for A-level. I mean, considering my test scores, I shouldn't be surprised, but it hurt, especially since he said he reccomended everyone for AP. I guess since there are only eight people in my chemistry class, he couldn't say most people. The appointment made me late for chemistry, and when I explained why I was late, he asked what I had selected. I really wish I had said Physics Honors, just so he would know, but instead I just said "Courses." Haha, I'm so funny.

I talked to Mo in math class! Well, him, Kathy, and I kind of chatted. All of my friends told me I was lame for being happy about this =.= Considering there was a time when I could barely speak to anyone, I think this is an improvement! Also, we made eye contact when he was talking to me directly, and I inwardly freaked out because do I break eye contact or do I hold it or what and then I just quickly looked down at my paper. I am so smooth.

I have this fear that he'll find out or he already knows. Especially since my friends keep pulling shit like saying his name out loud with his best friend right next to us in creative writing. Right now they'd probably say I was acting like I was in elementary school, with the whole endless obsessing and analyzing every action. And the nicknames so they don't know we're talking about them. Honestly, how else are you supposed to do it?

Things Which Happened Yesterday

Quills and Keys met yesterday, as it does every Wednesday. We tried to get on the roof (!) of the school, but when we found the ladder (hidden away in a paint closet), this terrifying guy came out of nowhere and said, "You're not supposed to be in here." So, that plan dashed, we wandered about and ate SO MUCH FOOD. I hunted for a dollar with Maya and Anthony Freshman, and then, back in the meeting room, we all shared cute love stories. Who needs to write at writing club?

I also took the National Latin Exam. Today we went over the answers, and I only got two wrong! Unfortunately, because I got silver last year, it's too late for me to get gold all four years and win the awesome prize. The awesome prize is a two-hundred dollar Latin encyclopedia. Because that's how awesome Latin students are.

I found out that most of the really, really good delegates in Model UN are in my committee for the upcoming conference. Kim told me not to switch into hers. I just don't want to get ruthlessly slaughtered! I'll probably email the supervisor tomorrow to see if there are any spots left in post-colonization education. Cloning is an interesting topic, but it's not worth this...

Things Which I Am Doing Now

I am concluding my post. Good night, friends!



Gossamer

My Deepest Apologies

What is this? Can it be that I'm still alive? Happy day, I am. I apologize for vanishing. It was remarkably poor taste for me to do so. To inspire my return, I've made everything prettier.

Thank you Lizzie for your concern :) Forgive me, all, for abandoning my blog and yours.

Now I shall write a long-ass entry. Prepare yourselves, friends!

Why did I vanish?

Have I been busy with school, as I am such a diligent, hard-working student that I would always put my work before the temptations of the Internet? Good heavens, no. In fact, my laziness is the very reason I haven't written in so long: once I realized it was easier to not write than to write, my motivations for writing seemed remarkably less. I haven't been writing much creatively, either. What have I been doing? Well, there's this:

Unfinished, if that wasn't clear by the giant empty space in the middle.

Yes, for the past week or so, I've spent my time making countless geometric images on Paint. That does not, however, account for a month of absence. What else have I been doing? By this point, I'm not sure myself. Saying that everything is hazy sounds a bit serious, but between the soul-crushing boredom, the constant listlessness that school inspires, and school itself, I cannot honestly account for where my time has gone or why I've done nothing productive during it. Productivity is for people who go to good colleges squares! Everyone who works at McDonald's knows that!

I wish I had more to catch you up on. Certainly things have happened that I would've written of if I had been writing then, things which now seem trivial. For instance, the third Model UN conference came and went. I didn't do very well, and there was no one there who piqued my interest, so now it seems pointless to even mention it. The fourth and final conference is on the 31st. I'm representing Spain for Cloning, which interests me because it's not the usual MUN topic. Maybe Sam will be there...? :)

But if I'm going to start talking about boys, I ought to devote an entire new section to it. Look at me, being organized! Today, I even organized the list of the twelve pages of homework I have to do this weekend. I digress.

Affairs of the Heart

Two of my best friends currently have boyfriends. Kim is very happy with Evan, and Joy is very happy with Andrew, and I am very happy for both of them (though Andrew occasionally calls me a cockblock :P). I do not have a boyfriend (otherwise I would've blogged sooner), but I'm, you know, okay with that.

I have a silly crush on a guy in my math class. His name is Mike, though we call him Mo--except for Maia, who calls him Kiwi. Yes, we still employ juvenile nicknames so that our crushes don't know we're talking about them. How else can you do it?

Anyway, I like Mike (and also assonance). I don't know him very well, so I'm not, like, obsessed with the guy, but he seems like a cool person. Also he's attractive. My goodness. I could just stare at the boy's face (that's not remotely weird or anything). And, um, his last name is fantastic, though obviously I won't be sharing it here.

This, of course, means that I'm over Weslie. I don't think I'd mind getting to know my Favorite Sour Asian a bit more, but that ship sailed after I didn't speak to him for half a year--also because he's a bit too much of a dick to justify to myself any longer. Ah well! 'Tis better to have loved and lost, etc.

Feedz me compluhmensss

You may not have noticed the obnoxiously long poem I wrote and posted the other night. You should read it and tell me what you think! Part of the reason that I'm blogging now is because I'm writing more overall, including the poem and my latest story, Gossamer. Care for an excerpt? Too bad if you don't; I'm feeding you one anyway!

I stayed awake, staring into the dreamy shadow of my ceiling, till the morning light disrupted my despair, and my happiness evaporated in the heat of day. I blinked against the rising pink, the glorious eternal gold of the sun at morn, the light which at once consumed the vestiges of darkness before I could realize it was gone. Morning came swiftly to assuage the weary soul of nighttime, and I remembered my dream, my guilty dream of stolen memories, the smile of Jude, the voice of Jonas, the cold and gray of Olivia Beach. Let them rest, I thought. Let my memories rest, let them burn away in sunlight, but let the night be my indulgence, let them flood back and kiss my waiting lips, let them speak to me in the voices of the damned and of the dead, let the sea rise around my feet and the sea wind push his hair from his face and reveal that word which haunted my living breath as if it were all of these things that I remembered, all of these things that I loved and yearned for under the cover of darkness. Let this be, I thought, let this be. Let the dead rest, but let this be.

In the full bloom of morning I wandered through a garden which grew and choked the ground around my home. The soil was good here, but the garden untended, untouched except for sunlight, and pale flowers twined around each other’s necks in a foul spectacle. Grass encroached on the garden path, though not enough years had passed for the stone to be entirely overtaken. This garden was a murder scene, a violent brawl of beauty, seeping through the fertile ground into a bloody ugly show. Too many flowers contested with too many weeds, too many dead leaves, too many spiders and bees and flies, too much sickly grass pushing thin shoots between the lovely buds, till at last the flowers, overcome by the violence, rose again as a tyrant themselves, their purity corrupted, their beauty destroyed by oppression. This was my home, this belligerent garden, the abandoned widow’s walk, the empty rooms which suppressed the memory of what was once full.

Gossamer is basically about a girl named Maria who falls in love with two guys, Jonas and Jude. There's a plot, but I haven't worked it out yet. One or both of them die. I don't feel bad telling you that, because you find out in the first sentence that someone dies, and it's pretty clear from there on that it's either Jonas or Jude.

What I enjoy about this story is the little thought-trains that the narrator goes off on. She's a little less poetic as a teenager, which is what she is for the majority of the story (the excerpt is years after the events of the novel). It's fun to write her descriptions of things, although when I don't get it right, I tend to scrap everything I just wrote and start over.

I wondered if he mentioned me, if I had made an impression on him. I imagined their conversation later, perhaps when the others had gone off. They lounged around the park, Jonas on the bench, the other one sitting on the top of it, with his feet on the seat. The friend laughed at some joke that Jonas has made, and then said, abruptly, if he had seen the girl on Main Street. When Jonas hadn’t, the friend laughed and told him I was hot. Yes, that must be what he thought of me, when he looked me up and down and caught my eyes. He knew nothing more of me than that I was hot. Jonas asked what I looked like, disinterested, for he was far too pure to care if his crass friend found yet another girl attractive. The friend hesitated, struggling to recall my features and my form through the haze of his memory, unable to remember more than the basics—tall, dark hair, that body, I imagined in his voice. I didn’t know his voice, but I imagined it anyway, teasing, low-toned, sometimes gruff. He would speak fluidly, sometimes making his words unclear as he flowed from one to the next, letters, words, and sentences forming a river of thought that poured from his mouth unabridged. Sometimes, a trickle, when he felt perverse; other times a waterfall, harsh, strong, his voice and his words overpowering, his anger absolute and irrepressible. He had a voice which would be heard by everyone or by just the person he wanted it to be heard by.

I was described in this voice. He rolled over what features he could remember—tall, dark hair, that body—as water rolls over rocks, and he wore them away, eroding my figure with the vulgarity of his tone, smoothing over my flaws with exaggeration that his tongue was prone to. It was a voice of overpowering force, which made me into a figure quite unlike myself. He said last, his tone amused, his vocal torrent subsiding, that I had a weird expression on my face.

It's called 'Gossamer' because, to be honest, the name sounded nice. Though I don't see it directly playing into the story, I'm sure at some point it will be brought up in conversation and I can justify using a random, mildly pretentious word to title my story :)

Spring is in the Air

It was so delightfully warm on Wednesday and Thursday that I wore a dress to school on both days. I decided to just embrace that I'm never going to wear shorts to school, and do some online browsing for some nice spring dresses before I finally haul my ass to the mall and drop some dough. I realized that, once again, I have a strange fondness for floral. I know it's spring and all, but I've always had this thing against floral...at least until it gets warm and sunny outside.

Things I want to invest in before it gets nice out: a casual dress which isn't shapeless or black, sandals, at least two skirts (I only have three, and they're, like, all I wear in the spring), and some nice light shirts. I'm being overwhelmed by loveliness just thinking about it.

Spring also means that school is on the decline. School is out in just over three months! Our scheduling for next year should be occurring soon. Once again I intend to take all Honors and AP, and I think I may take both physics and chemistry if I can. The schedule is changing next year, which may mean I won't be able to double up on science, which would be a shame, because if I'm going to struggle through one year of chemistry I might as well struggle through two and get college credit for it. If I can't double up, then I'll just take physics. See, in the new schedule, we would have to lab out for science during study hall, music, or gym, as opposed to any elective as it is now. Whatever the merits of the new schedule may be, I think it's silly to restrict the number of classes a student can take in that way. Also, I really love science :(

Speaking of chemistry, I just can't seem to get the hang of it this year. On the last test we took, though, I got 100! I could not even believe it! My highest test grade after that is an 80! Everyone else did well, too, but usually on the tests that everyone does well on, I still do poorly. I actually hung it on the fridge, I was so happy. It brought my grade up five points. I'm still happy just thinking about it.

The Work I Should Be Doing Instead of This

I made a handy-dandy list.

• Genetic Disease Brochure (approx. two pages)
• Stylistic Devices in Rebecca (two pages)
• Secondary Character Narrative (two-three pages)
• Court Opinions (four pages)

And only half of that is overdue work!

I want to do the biology brochure tonight, and get a start on the second thing, the stylistic devices pseudo-essay. The more complex things I'm going to tackle tomorrow, when I absolutely cannot justify procrastination.

Right at this moment, however, I'm going to go play senseless computer games. Farewell! When shall I write again? Probably tomorrow, when I desperate for distraction from all the homework I have.

Fall of Sabrina

The Sable-bend and the Old Orchad and the Trees
Aligned in a straight fashion, pale with silver leaves
These things line the winding drive where the spirits wait
The winding drive that leads us to the House of Remaurier

She was upon the door, the bloodied door, the blood-red door
The Lady Sabrina 'neath the pillars straight as sin
     (this is what she told me, this is what she said, my Lady Grim)
     (this is what she told me, what she said, my Lady Sin)

I wait beyond with bloodied hand for my Lady Fair
The spirit and the virtue of my Lady, always there
     (the spirit and the virtue, the spirit and the crime)
     (my Lady lost, these ghosts unyielding, drenched in filth and grime)
I wait beyond the door for the Wife Remaurier

My Lady in her beauty, hands clasped 'neath the light in prayer
Why she prays I do not know, for Heaven is not there
Not for my Lady, Wife, my Lady, Wife of Remaurier
The Master's Wife, so much despised
     (my love, Remaurier)

The bed of she, my Lady Fair, is cold, bare with disuse
My Lady takes no lovers for her beauty is a noose
     (my Lady takes no lovers, my dear lovely Lady Fair)
     (my Lady's bed is cold though my Lady's heart is bare)

My Lady's Master, Lover, Tyrant
     (for he is to my place aspirant)
     (for even he's denied that lovely Lady Fair)
My Lady Sin, her beauty fleeting in her master's Grasp
She turns to me and clings to me with her cold sinful Clasp

The Lady Sabrina of this Bloodied Hand of mine
He has tried her patience, though my Lady's bid her time
My Lady Remaurier, my lovely Lady True
My Lady Sin and Grime and Grim, my Lady Lover too

The House has fallen for my lovely Lady's love
The Sable-bend a hollowed route for the worms to take
The worms consume it all now, the House Remaurier
     (the worms consume it all now, my Lady Remaurier)

The Old Orchard is her grave now, and the Master lies with her
My bloody hand upon him, though my Lady did not know
Her vice and sin, my Lady Grim, consumed her angel spirit
Bid me follow and I shall, my fair Lady Dearest

The Murder of my Wife and Lover, the Master's stolen prize
     (preceded only by his own demise)
She drove me do it, I confess, my lovely Lady Fair
She bid me do it for the love that she professed was there

Her vengeance at last taken on her despised cruel Master
     (her vengeance taken on me, my dearest love forever)
     (her vengeance on him and on me, her lovers sworn forever)
She turned from me, my Lady Fair, and her cruel spirit triumphed
     (all that she had done for naught, for my Lady Sin was finished)

Gone forever is the genteel House of Remaurier
I wait with bloodied hands for my Lady Remaurier
The fair Sabrina stole away, from my hands delivered
A sweet respite from all her strife, my Lady Love forever

My Lady bid me do her crime, and for her I gladly did it
"The Tyrant's dead, long live the Queen"--long live the Queen, Sabrina
But her own fall followed not long, for my Lady cursed me
     (my devotion and my love entire)
     (any fool would know that my love was all entire)
She bid me fool to love a Lady of the House Remaurier
She turned from me once the crime was done, my Lady Remaurier

My Lady Love Remaurier down the drive shall no more turn
The winding silver path where our love was born
The House of Remaurier has fallen, and my Lady fallen too
I stopped my Lady's breath when her betrayal burned anew

Lingua Latina

Sentiebam scripta esse non diu. Quod sentio mala, tamen scribo de meum diem.


.........non.

Model UN

Today was the Model UN conference! It was really fun, and I WON something!

Behold! The top part of the dress I wore, a rather nice necklace, the bottom half of my lovely smiling face, and a FRIGGIN' AWARD.

As you may be able to read, I won Honorable Mention, which is really second place. Kim won Best Delegate, which she totally deserved! I mean, I'm just so excited about this! I've never won anything in Model UN, and never even considered that I would. I didn't think I'd win in this one, either. That Kim would win BD was a given, but I figured HM would go to Spain or someone. OhmyGod when they called my name, I just could not stop smiling!

I spoke often and for the most part, I believe I spoke well. Of course, too often I completely blanked and ended up stammering out a less-than-satisfactory ending to whatever point I made. I am SO happy with my award, though!

Alas, Sam was not in my committee. I actually didn't say anything to him. When he walked into the cafeteria in the morning, when we were eating breakfast, I fell into hysterical giggles, actually. Maia and Kim tried to get me to go talk to him, but I couldn't! He was surrounded by his classmates! And at lunch, he also looked busy...I don't know. It seems so strange to spend three months looking forward to something, shaping it in your head, only to not do it when the moment comes. I think I looked forward to it so much that I forgot how incapable I am of talking to people.

I'm not giving up hope, though--there's still two more conferences this year :D

I did talk to the people in my committee. One delegate, China, was pretty friendly--and he goes to the same school that Sam does. Of course, by the end of the conference, I told him about the Sam situation. I tried to play it off as if I only cared because he didn't accept my friend request, and he immediately asks if I LIKE him. So I say, "No, of course not, I've only met him once!"--but my voice, which apparently raised about three octaves, gave me away. China then decided that the best way to proceed was to ASK Sam about getting a friend request from me. They were behind us, and I kept turning around, turning bright red, and being hysterical. Well, that was exciting.

On a final note, one of our chairs--the students who basically run our committee and don't debate--was rather cute :)

That was the conference! I'm so excited for the next one :D

An Enormous Plethora of Things

See, I hadn't blogged in a week, and then I decided to wait until a certain date, and then I was denied access to the computer for a bit, and then I was busy. Now, I am not busy. Miraculous day!

I dyed my hair red! This was the "certain date" I alluded to, two Sundays ago. Behold:

Isn't it lovely? Not my face, since you can't see that, but my hair. Just recall that I was blonde beforehand...and also, looking at it, that the lighting in my office isn't exactly superb. But, it is red! Hurrah!

What else has happened? There's so much to catch up on! Last week, I recieved a 5.5/40 on. If math isn't your strong point (apparently it is not mine, either), that's about 14%. I think there comes a point when it is beyond failing. Alas.

Often, when I don't blog for a long period of time, I find my writing clumsy and ill-worded. I just don't like how I write. I haven't written very much--blog or otherwise--in weeks, and now everything I write seems awful. I'd rather just...go do something else.

Hopefully that will change soon, because the second semester has started at my school, which means CREATIVE WRITING! I know so many people in that class, including Lauren, Maia, Kristen, and Tiffany. I also know some other people, though I'm not really friends with them, like Weslie. I think it's safe to say I don't really like him anymore. I haven't spoken to him yet, so I don't imagine my liking him in the future either.

Of course, with the new semester also comes gym. Two of my gym buddies from last year are in my class, which is wonderful, though nothing will ever compel me not to despise gym. We're playing volleyball again.

Last Saturday, I went to the mall with Lauren in hopes of finding a dress for Cotillion. I didn't find a dress (although I did find a lovely leapord-print prom dress which naturally I had to try on). I did buy a belt, though, so I suppose the trip wasn't entirely unsuccessful! Also, it's always fun to hang out with Lauren. She didn't buy anything, either.

Tomorrow is another meeting of Quills and Keys--my and Maia's writing club, if you forgot--AND a meeting of Model UN. We're having the meeting a day early because the next conference is this Saturday. My country and topic are actually really good--India for Water Rights--so I'm determined to do well. Aaaaand, maybe talk to Angola again? :D We'll see! Also, I ordered a very pretty dress for the conference, which I'm super excited to wear.

I think that's all for now. I'm off to do my Creative Writing homework--I have to write a poem about myself!

MIA

I write to declare that yes, I am still alive. Having been MIA for two weeks, this might have indeed been a question.

My day has thus far consisted of not doing homework, not doing Model UN work, not doing work, and playing the Sims. On Thursday, I received my committee and country! I am: Water Rights, and India. I'm excited, because India is actually relevant to the topic. Ohhh man. Kim is also in my committee, which is cool. I intend to be super-duper prepared and fantastic at this conference--and no, it has nothing to do with Angola. I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but I added him on Facebook (Kim found him, like, two months ago) and he never accepted my friend request! Ah well. Fingers crossed that he's miraculously in my committee again.

I ordered this dress for the conference, and have thus far spent undue amounts of time staring at it online and checking the order status. Oh man, I want this dress to arrive. The order status estimates that it'll arrive next Monday, but I'm hoping that the Magic Gods of Dressdom will smile on me and make it show on, like, Wednesday. Isn't it pretty? :D

I have the perfect shoes for the conference, but they're about four inches tall and I, being a fail, cannot walk in them. Fail fail fail. Also, even if I could walk in them (which I can't), would it seem like I was trying too hard? This one girl wore ridiculously high shoes and she looked, well, ridiculous. I don't want to be that girl. No one wants to be that girl.

Were I the responsible and proactive type, this weekend I would: write an essay on Caracalla early to get extra credit, actually do my chemistry homework instead of staring at it for a little bit, sniffling, and putting it away, and begin research on water rights in India. I don't know what it is with chemistry this year, but it's basically scooping up my brains with a spoon and then laughing at me. I still have a B, even though I got a 72 on the last test, though, so I'm happy about that!

Of course, right after we finish a big project in biology, we start one in chemistry. Such are the woes of doubling up, I suppose. The biology project, my and Kathy's video on meiosis, turned out very well! See it for yourself!

Oops, I was GOING to do that, until I realized that it contained both of our full names in the credits. HAHHH fail.

^ That took over fifteen hours and 700 pictures, thank you. It amazed me that some people had less than 100 pictures. Anyway, I hope your enjoyment of it is inversely proportional to how much we hated making it!

So, my dress for the conference is taken care of, but I still need a dress for Sophomore Cotillion. I love red dresses and white dresses (not red and white, though, heavens!). I'm probably going to go to the mall at some point, hopefully with Lauren and Shari in two weeks. And maybe before then! Who knows? I want to do something this weekend, it being a three-day weekend and all that.

How has everyone been?

In the Spirit of the New Year

I realized that I should probably blog today, it being New Year's Eve and all that. Not that I have anything to say about that, but it somehow seems wrong not to have a final entry of the year. Yes? Yes.

Today, after four and a half years of frustration, I finally beat Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess! Oh man, I'm so awesome. Kim was there to cheer me on. She's still on the Lakebed Temple (ha) and I just kicked Ganondorf's ass. Haaaa.

The sleepover was very fun! I don't know if I mentioned that Kim and I were having a sleepover, but we were. Kim tried pizza pockets for the first time (they're so amazing) and I, as usual, drowned myself in soda. We fiddled online a bit, I said silly things to Weslie (like 'KIM THINKS YOU'RE COOL', after which Kim wouldn't speak to me), and I beat Kim in Battleship! Oh, and I applied fabulous makeup to Kim, and she tried to makeover me and I looked bruised. Oh, Kim.

It was nice out today--not that I went outside too much. The day was spent playing Zelda and watching the Planet Earth marathon. I still wish I had some cool New Year's Eve party to go to, but alas, 'tis too late now. Perhaps next year I'll be cool!

My sadistic English teacher gave us homework, so tomorrow should be spent studying vocabulary and A Tale of Two Cities. That is, if I get off my ass and actually look at my backpack for the first time this break. Next week I have to look forward to finishing the biology project and three tests in English. Yayyy.

In the spirit of the New Year, here's a list of the things I have to look forward to in 2012:

• The second semester of school, which means: creative writing!
• Finishing sophomore year (generally agreed upon to be the hardest year).
• Turning sixteen and throwing a wild party and celebrating quietly with friends!
• As an offshoot of that, learning how to drive and (hopefully!) getting a job.
• Starting junior year, I guess.

So, there are some things! Happy New Year, guys! I hope you all have a stunning night :D

Ramblin'

Hello! I'm determined to get into the habit of blogging again! Besides, it was either this or mindlessly play Sims for another hour. You know, I don't know how to take a screenshot. Me no understandy computer-magic.

The other day, I had the shortest-lived conversation with Weslie (previously Up, if I never made that distinction) ever, and then an hour later my friend, who doesn't even know him, had an hour-long conversation with him. I'm kind of bumming about it, actually. I mean, like, yeah, I get the hint, thanks. I lack the social magic which others possess, I suppose.

This is a picture of my cat. In case you thought it was a picture of someone else's cat. My other cat is in the living room, so I don't want to bother her!

I wish I was going to a New Year's Eve party! I would throw one myself, but I don't have enough friends, and also my house is awful. I could wear a sparkly dress and everything :( Although, Kim is coming over for a sleepover tomorrow, which is almost New Year's Eve. Perhaps at midnight we'll run screaming through the streets, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!", and see if anyone calls the cops.

I should probably read A Tale of Two Cities sometime, or do vocab, since my English teacher actually gave us homework over break. I think I'll just play Sims till my dad kicks me off the computer. Hm!

Good night!

THE HAUL

I, being of the materialistic sort, instead of pontificating on the joys of the holiday and the warmth of family, will give you a photo list of what I got!

My dad got me this loverly book, titled Booknotes: Stories from American History. It goes up to 2002, and is basically a bunch of short stories pertaining to American History. I'm quite excited to start reading it, once I stop being lazy!

Oh, see that hand right there? That's my hand. Oh yeah.

A flibbiload of makeup! Isn't it all so pretty and organized? I'm wearing some right now, and, while I think it looks pretty darn spiffy, I believe the rule against my putting pictures of myself on the internet still applies. Regardless I don't feel like asking. Look at the pretty makeup!

Also, my arm is pretty sexy. Ohhhh yeah.

MY FAVORITE PURSE EVER, EVER. Guys, guys, LOOK at this purse. This purse is fantastic. This purse goes with my outfits. This purse is great. I have realized that I'm in love with it.

Oh man, the top of my head? I understand if some of you are getting uncomfortable!

And, what did I take all of these pictures with? I GOT A WEBCAM. It's so pretty and shiny <3 I would take a picture of it, but, you know...

Anyway, I had a rather lovely holiday, with much Doctor Who watched and much chocolate consumed. I hope everyone else did, too!

The Holidays!

Today was a half-day, being the last day before winter break (!), and I can honestly say we did not do a single academic thing in any class. In my chemistry class, there were only four of us (and Lauren!) and Chem Teacher brought in his daughter, who's about three/four years old, and a generally good time was had by all.

My dad and I are setting up the Christmas tree--pssht, no, it's not two days before Christmas. Oh, and it's two days before Christmas! It's Christmas Eve Eve! I exchanged presents with people! Tegan got me a lovely scarf, Chelsea got me little cat figurines, Jennifer gave me a cupcake, and Shari gave me a delightful blanket :D Oh, and on Wednesday, Joy made me a journal (!), and Maia got me a book--The Essential Guide to Getting Your Book Published. I also got gifts for all of them, of course!

I love getting gifts for people. Later tonight I'll be going to the mall to get gifts for my parents, who I've yet to buy anything for.

Guys, guys, guys. February is in less than two months! I've been looking for a dress for the next Model UN conference, and I think this one would work well, with a business jacket and other accouterments. What do you think? I also kind of like this one, though it's more expensive. Unfortunately, not many stores cater to business-atire-seeking teenagers, so I haven't been able to find anything really perfect.

I've become midlly obsessed with Scrabble. I hate it, really, but then I started playing with Kim on Facebook and now I can't stop.

Now that I'm blogging, I realize how much I forget about things that happen throughout the week. I keep meaning to, but either I don't have time or I don't feel like it. I think, when this is done, I'll comment! Hurray!

Oh, well, I think this is done, actually. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

What what what

Guys, guys, guys, I suck at this. What happened to blogging every couple of days and commenting regularly? Oh, the guilt! It eats away at me! You know, I blogged twice in all of November! How depressing!

Oh, and I centered my text. What what.

My grades right now are so nice, but it's still the beginning of the second marking period, and all of the things which I definitely failed haven't been graded yet. I have three B's and four A's. Yay for me.

I never posted about Quills and Keys! Oh me, oh my--it was so fun! The first meeting, the total number of people was sixteen, and some of them WEREN'T people that I begged to come! The second meeting, there were less, but that's okay! We're all busy with homework, especially ever Thanksgiving break. It's so exciting to be in charge of a club. Maia and I could definitely turn this into something great. Now I look forward to Wednesdays!

I do not look forward to Mondays. Fridays are great because I continually remember, throughout the day, that I don't have to get up early the next day. That's just the best feeling.

I feel like I should include pictures in my posts, but I don't have any pictures handy. Hm! I suppose a giant wall of text will have to do! EAT WORDS, BITCHEZ.

No, no, I kid. You're not bitchez. You're all very nice!

The assignment this week for Quills and Keys is to write a poem. Why I suggested this, I don't know. I never let anyone read my poetry, because I'm not very good. I mean, I'm okay with that, as long as no one else reads them! And one time Maia did when I wasn't looking and laughed at me, and I was pissed. Maybe I'll write something fantastic! Yes.

Yesterday I took a test that f*cked everyone was a bitch was very difficult! The vocab test I took earlier was easy, though. So was the biology test I took today. I don't know. Maybe I'll study for Latin and math this weekend. Hahaha.

I should blog more! I should stop being lazy, yes!

It's the Christmas season. I get to buy gifts for people! Yes!

I'm still alive!

Hello! I'm still alive! The reason I've been silent for the past two or so weeks is because I haven't had access to the computer, but now it's on and I have nothing else to do. So sorry to be so silent! I promise I haven't abandoned you!

I've basically quit NaNoWriMo, which sucks, but alas, it wasn't meant to be. Ironically it wasn't an excess of work which compelled me to fall so far behind, but a lack of motivation on my part, and an abundance of rather ill-timed headaches. I grew to not only absolutely despise my story, my characters, my setting, and my writing, but to be completely unable to come up with anything to write. The trouble was, really, that I didn't develop it properly before diving in and therefore it turned out sloppy and unorganized. Next year!

Speaking of creative writing, though, next Wednesday marks the very first meeting of Maia and I's creative writing club, Quill and Keys! We are very excited. There will be food, and probably writing as well (although no one can be sure). The name was a joint effort. I like it.

How was everyone's Thanksgiving? I cooked the entire dinner (except when my mom helped me cut a giant squash...haha) and it actually turned out pretty well! Of course the only reason I spent half the day cooking and stuck my hand into a dead animal was so we could actually have Thanksgiving dinner on Thanksgiving. Since my mom worked that night, if she were going to cook, it would have to wait till tomorrow. Oh, and I made an apple pie! That, I think, turned out the best. That, and the squash. Yum.

I found out today that an essay is due in English on Monday. One, the school doesn't allow projects or tests on Monday, so Rocky can't even do that. Two, she never actually told period 4 that the essay was due, and hasn't posted it online. The essay is about point of view. Someone explain to me how the hell one writes in essay on point of view, please.

The good news in English is that we're finally starting A Tale of Two Cities, which is one of my favorite books! Also, I got 100 on that narrative essay from forever ago :D In good school news, the new marking period has started, so I can almost pretend that the good grades on the first three assignments of the year can be maintained! As of last marking period, I have three A's, two B's, and three C's. The C's disappoint me, except in chemistry, where the only reason I got a C and not a D is because teacher gave me points for homework I didn't actually do =.= I pity one kid who had an 89.48, or something like that. So close.

Right now I have an 83 in chem since he's only posted one grade, but hopefully I can keep it up! I have 100 in biology. Ha ha ha :)

I think I'll go write something that isn't NaNoWriMo, so I can regain my sanity. Good night, everyone! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend!

In lieu of a proper, sensical entry, my dears...

The writing's gone well, if by well you mean poorly
If by writing you mean slop set to a story
If by gone you mean delayed and fought for and against
If by the you mean--well, it has been so long since
I put words in a rhythm, prose into rhyme
I tend to slip up from time to time
And, like above, miss a syllable or two
Or go on too long 'fore starting stanza anew

The institution of learning which I have been sent to
Can burn in rotten hell, and every teacher too
In truth, I do not mean to be cruel
But to delineate my struggles given to me by school
In the past week alone would take half an hour
To describe the whole year I don't have the power
To describe the last day I think would suffice
If the very idea did not fill me with vice

However, some happiness! Pieces of news
For which without my san'ty I might lose
Some Sunday past, a week ago since
My dear friend Maia did manage to convince
My easily-won mind to chop of my hair
And now, simply put, it's simply not there
Cut 'round my chin, and with bangs to boot
Do I regret it? The answer is moot

For regret I have none; for other things, yes
For miseries which have fallen into mess
My happinesses, I find, are few and quite fleeting
My sorrows are great, my matches I am meeting
Or failing to meet, or falling behind
The struggle and the stress of my mind
Is oftentimes too great to bear
But in my grades, 'tis apparent there

But speak not of misery! It does not promote
Good nature to feel as if cut by the throat
Or optimism to feel always left in the dust
Though sometimes it is hard, so sometimes we must
Look forward with a smile, find it in ourselves to laugh
Look to the good things, look back to the gaffs
And the jokes and the joys we shared with our friends
So even for hardships we may make amends

A Step by Step Guide

Tonight, I remembered why I used to love dances so much! It was the Halloween dance, and I, being my glamorous self, was a movie star. I had an enormous fur coat and everything, guys! Shari and I got there at the very beginning and throughout the entire night, there really wasn't more than approximately 150 people there. Considering we have a school of 2,000, this is a pretty small dance. Everyone was inside the cafeteria with smoke machines and lights and a basically continuous stream of dance music. I started out nervously moving my hands back and forth, because I'm so incredibly lame, but by the end of the three hours, I was perfectly comfortable shimmying around the dance floor with various Disney princesses!

None of my friends other than Shari were there, so I hung around with Shari's friends! They were pretty cool! There was Monica and Katie, who I vaguely know, and Freya and Jamie, who I didn't know at all. Very fun. There was a not-surprising amount of girls dressed, er, promiscuously, and an even less surprising number of people grinding. Not that I fit into either of these categories :)

It really was fun, and I'm glad I went. On Monday, I'm going trick-or-treating with Shari and some of the people from the dance! I might almost consider going to Sophomore Cotillion now, even though I remain sadly dateless. Ah well. It's still fun to go with friends!

By the way, if anyone was unsure about exactly how lame my dancing is:

A step by step guide.

Well, that was my night! Good night, everyone! I promise to comment soon!

I didn't ask his name!

My first order of business is to humbly, humbly mention that I got 104 on the last graded English test and my average is now a 96. Haha. Hahaha.

Unfortunately, although my last two grades in biology were fairly good, I turned in a lab a day late and my teacher took 50% off of it, which basically kept my grade at 75. Basically all of my other grades are the same, except for math, which has gone down. I expect some of them to go up soon, though! Also, I should mention that I am no longer taking financial literacy hopefully as of tomorrow.

Things I need to do tonight: set up Profile of a Driver project, look up answers to chemistry pre-lab questions, finish reading Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress, and finish my math homework!

NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY! Yesterday was the Model UN conference, and it was fantastic. I actually participated, for one thing! Hopefully my progress is exponential and next conference will be even better. I've noticed that I've become a lot more confident since freshmen year, not just in Model UN. Of course, it might've helped that I was wearing this fantastic dress (in white, not pink) that I magically found on Friday.

I actually talked to people, too. Lunch was the best part of the entire day. I sat down with the people who I was working on a resolution with (which is traditionally what one does during lunch) and this guy from the other resolution decided to sit with us. He's one of those people who you wouldn't initially call cute, but then you start to like his face after talking to him. He was Angola. We all talked about anything but the resolution all lunch, including: religion, Fox news, grades, and ketchup packets. It was so much fun. I also met a girl who went to the school the conference was hosted at, and a girl who goes to my school, both of which are now my friends on Facebook. But you know what? This guy that I totally had a great time with? I never asked his name. I never asked his name. I am KICKING myself right now, because the next conference isn't until February. Rage, rage, rage.

Well, that was that. Hopefully I see him next conference and he falls madly in love with me and we run off into the sunset, yes?

The weird part is that I don't really remember what he looks like. I mean, I know what he looks like, but I can't picture his face in my head. It's frustrating. And you know what's funny? He's actually the friend of the guy I mentioned in a previous post, the one with blue eyes who I found (and still find) cute, and they were both in committee again.

When I got back from the conference, my mom surprised me with a new computer, monitor, and Microsoft 2010! I know this seems random, but our computer died on Friday for no reason whatsoever. Now everything is shiny and new, haha. In a stoke of magnificent, beautiful, life-saving luck, when I saved a copy of a school presentation to my flash drive on Sunday, I copied my entire stories bin onto it. We don't really know if the old hard drive can be recovered yet, but if it can't be and I didn't have my stories--I don't think I need to say how devastated I would be. I don't like to think about it. I'm just so entirely thankful that I happened to save them on that very day; otherwise I never would've gotten around to it.

Unfortunately, I lost all of my poetry and schoolwork. A shame, but not the end of the world, I guess.

Today I went to the mall with Happy and Tiffany! They brought their little sisters, who were adorable, and overall it was really fun. I didn't buy anything, even though I saw several dresses I really liked. I need to stop buying dresses! I can't even wear them, it being winter and therefore cold.

I should focus on my homework. By that I mean, play the free trial of Diner Dash 2 which came with the computer. I promise to comment on all of your blogs soon! I'm just lazy!

Grumbles

GOSH DARN IT, IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG FLIPPING TIME!

I have been incredibly busy this week, and I still am. I just finished the homework that is due tomorrow, and now I can finally update. I have been sleeping so little in the last week. Last night I was practically giddy just because I could go to sleep before midnight.

Yesterday I went to Princeton University. It was for a biology presentation taking place there. Guys, the moment I got off the bus, I knew I wanted to go there. I always have, but being there again just reinforced it. I need to go to Princeton. I mean, the chances of it happening are so unlikely, but the only thing I could think while I was there is that this is the school I want to go to. Princeton, why are you so pretty, filling a young girl's head with dreams? Why, Princeton?

Anyway! Maia was there as well, and we immediately set out to go find some chow. We had about an hour, and most of that hour was spent walking up and back down a street mulling over food options. Eventually we settled on Panera's (adventerous, I know) and shared what may be my favorite meal ever: a blueberry bagel and a giant cinnamon bun. Nom, nom. Then it was about time to go to the presentation.

We got onto the balcony in this huge, pretty room with a stage and fancy Exit signs. Maia and I agreed these were prententious. We're Princeton, and everything here must be pretty. We sat next to a biology major who started talking about a lab he had just done, during which we nodded our heads slowly with a glazed expression. Heh. The presentation was really interesting, even though for some reason I kept nodding off. Probably exhaustion. It was about bacteria and how they "talk" to each other using chemical signals.

The bus ride back was dark. I could see all the lights of the towns and factories off of the Interstate in between the trees. It always makes me sad to see these, because I think of all the people there and the stories I'll never know. That was unelegantly said, but nonetheless. It was hard to tell where we were. We got back around eight.

There was something I wanted to mention here. Every day between sixth and seventh period, I walk in a mostly deserted breezeway in my school. Every day I look at the sky through the windows. Every day it's different. One day, I remember, it was milky blue, like the sky was foggy. One day it was brilliantly clear. Sometimes the clouds are massive and magnificent. Sometimes they're just forgettable, but I appreciate them anyway. It's a habit that I have.

Since Maia paid for lunch on the Princeton trip, I promised to buy her a book. I got her a book of short stories by J. D. Salinger, and an Audrey Hepburn tote to put it in :) I love buying things for people. I love spending an hour looking for the perfect book. Hopefully she doesn't read this before tomorrow, yes?

I would also like to mention that my English grade is once more a beautiful, beautiful dream. I got 104 on a test, and it's now above a 96 :D Ahh, so happy! If only the rest of my grades were as good!

Don't you think the joke laughs at you?

I should really blog more often. I have time, I just don't often feel like it, especially since my days are monotonous and boring. I haven't had as much homework as I did that first week of school, which seems odd to me, but what do I know? The ways of teachers are mysterious and foriegn, and we would be wise not to question them, less our A- inexplicably drop to a B.

My grades seem bizarre right now. I still have a D in chemistry, and it's actually worse than it was last week. My grade in biology has gone up to a C, because I got 75's on both lab reports we've turned. So, basically, I'm still doing terribly, but it's nicer to look at. I just completely bombed a 30-point quiz in math, and I am certainly not eager to see what my grade becomes. History, though, is absolutely baffling. The last three assignments, all worth 20 or more points, I've gotten 90 or above on. And yet my grade is just below an A--89.33. Baffling, and infuriating. I only hope I can bring it up.

Speaking of history, I'm quite pleased with myself, because we took a test the other day and I recieved a lovely 92. The best part was actually that I got the full thirty points on the essay portion, and she included a note that my essay was "beautifully organized and written" and that I had a "nice use of transitions." I love positive comments on my writing. Hee.

What I really want to do is take a long weekend off and just read. I have a constantly accumulating list of books to read, most of which I started and put down, including: The Brothers Karamazov, Crime and Punishment, Paradise Lost, Frankenstein, and most recently, The Sorrows of Young Werther. I believe the quote, "Always read the stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it." applies to me. Half the things I read, I read because they're classics and I want to look smart :) Haha, I'm so vain.

I've officially been in school for a month. Only nine more, yes? Yes.

Maia and I wanted to start a club. It would basically be a creative writing club, because, you know, that's what we do. And wouldn't it look good for colleges? Unfortunately, we've been entirely unable to find a supervisor for it. I mean, we really only need a supervisor to be in the room for most of the time, since we're not taking field trips or anything and therefore do not need things organized by an adult. But supervisors are required, and we can't find one. It would've been so great, too! Lots of fun. There would be food. Everybody likes food.

I think I'll go window shop for clothes online. I swore that I would put the money leftover from my summer shopping into a savings account. So far it has not happened...

By the way, the title of my blog is from I Am the Walrus by, you know, The Beatles.

This is going to turn out well.

Oh, my. I'm a bad person. I'm a bad, bad person.

...but no one else has blogged either! Where is everyone? Don't tell me you're putting your academic and social lives before blogging. Heavens, it can't be.

I have to talk about Halloween. I'm so excited this year! I have such a great costume in mind; I'm going to be glamorous. Not a specific thing, just glamorous. See, I've recently come into possession of this enormous, fabulous fur coat, which screams costume (since I certainly won't be wearing it ever, ever again). And what goes best with a fur coat? A shiny dress, a mass of pearls, and unnaturally red lipstick!

I went to the mall yesterday with Kim and Shari, and we found the perfect dress. I love this thing to bits. It's just the right kind of sparkly, and it really goes quite well with the fur coat. Things left on the Halloween costume agenda: black tights, some kind of obnoxiously sparkly necklace, and to figure out something to do with my hair. I'm already blond, but not super blond, or glamorous blond. Kim, for some reason, thinks I should make me hair brown.

I think I'll talk about my grades! My grade in English is like a beautiful dream. I have a 96!!!, since I got that grade on both reading checks we took. She's currently grading a vocab test which we took last week, and I am honestly terrified that I've failed it and thus ruined by beautiful, beautiful grade.

Unfortunately, no other grade is as spectacular. My grade in math dropped from a 92 to an 88, which bums me out. Since Latin hasn't updated recently, I still have a 90, but I've done every homework assignment, so I'm not worried about that. History also hasn't updated in awhile, leaving me at a dismal 84. Chemistry and biology are horrendous. I have a D in both classes. Considering my current poor grasp of both subjects, I don't see those grades rising any time soon. Bums me out.

I need to write a position paper for Model UN. I haven't read the brief yet. This is going to turn out well.

Good night!