So I'm a Liar

By "tomorrow" I meant "two days later" and by "talk about the party" I meant "do no such thing"

I kind of have a lot of homework and am growing increasingly frustrated that I can't figure out some math stuff

The cupcakes I'm making for Quills & Keys are being difficult

In happier news, I made new friends today!

I need to update my schedule for the week and probably also do some homework. Good night, friends.

Fun with Poetry

I just came from a pretty fun party I might talk about tomorrow (if I remember). In the meantime, here's the shitty poem I mentioned yesterday!

Sweet darling. You are not who I

who did not think you would hurt me are.

Is there hope for us?

Angel discontented, sweep I that love you

into the dust under your cosmos, and feel

everything or if it please you nothing.

I am not an angel but that you are an angel

as such that I am, but I am not.

I feel you most

over the steady fade of our unisonal drumbeat.

Lover, can I live after you? You stay no more ethereal

than the fog without me.

You are a dreamscape in the heart of my corpse

and a flower in the spine of my child

and love to me now.

I am not without you.

Am I to love you who in me speaks a melancholy song

and whittles wood into little shapes unnatural—

you who in twilight speak in silence

and in the morning hush my only sunrise

under the guise of love?

Lover. You wound me in the ways of spaces

between the tiles of the backdrop and the rotting wood

constituting an infrastructure.

I am not who consigns to love you.

Painted lovely, a paper dress could not suit you better;

therefore let me go.

Make me feel better about myself, okay. Don't be mean.

Sadness Abounds

Well, shoot. I don't want to check how long it's been because it'll probably make me sad. It probably made you guys sad too! Sadness all around.

I considered adding "at least I hope so" to that sentence, but it seems wrong to wish that people were sad. Eh.

I suppose I could pretend this is just a normal update and talk about school or something. I made it through Hell Week, academically speaking, last week, and somehow emerged with all As and Bs for the second marking period! Guys, I'm going to Harvard. Like, for sure. Really. *suppresses tears*

I feel like a middle-schooler blogging for the first time.

I wrote a poem which got the approval of some of my friends. I'm not a huge fan of it myself but I'm blanking on what to say now (still having trouble with that after several months of absence, yes) so here's a poem for your reading pleasure:

The formatting got messed up and I don't feel like fixing it at this hour bahahhhhhh

The second one is from a different perspective, in case anyone was confused. Or if anyone bothered to read that. Gosh, I don't know. That's the only creative thing I've written in about three weeks so I'm kind of fishing for compliments by this point. I was really excited about this one story I was writing before this avalanche of work, but I haven't had any time to write and now I'm just not feeling it. Ugh, once more in the clutches of writer's block.

This is kind of a random thought. I was having a conversation with someone I don't usually talk to the other day, and at some point he said that he doesn't really love people, and I said in return that I don't find it that difficult to love people. I kind of wonder if that's true. I said it, but I'm not sure, because there's a lot of shallow people that I know who I definitely do not love.

Oh, that reminds me. I've recently become fascinated by the process of making friends. I want to make new friends! Not because I'm tired of my old friends, but just for the thrill of opening a new book and experiencing a new character. I kind of want to dip into every little world, if that makes sense. I'm not really sure. I'm inexplicably tired--inexplicably because I've been a lump all day. I did wake up at seven for no reason, though. Curse you, sleep cycle. Curse you.