Sunday, June 28, 2009

Summer Playlist (stolen from my Xanga)

[We Intertwined--The Hush Sound]
To be honest, I'm not liking LiveJournal that much. There's not as many options and the site itself is convfusing. Ooh, but I do like this font!
Okay, so, I think it's apparent that I'm not blogging about anything major. I've all but given up on that idea. Instead I'll blog about nothing!
So. Onto the title. My good friend Lizzie has given me a marvelous idea: a summer playlist! I think the song I'm listening to now (We Intertwined) is definitely going to be on it. It's not my favorite song, but it's just so...summer. Love it.

1. We Intertwined by The Hush Sound.

What else? Well, I don't think many of my favorite bands (My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park, Placebo, Blue October) would really work. SO LET'S CHECK OUT MY OTHER FAVORITE BANDS. Hummmmm....
Summer songs should be happy or have a relevant message, like We Intertwined. The bands shouldn't be dark or depressing. Something like Jimmy Eat World or Jack's Mannequin. OH, I got it!

2. Sweetness by Jimmy Eat World.

Again, not my favorite song, but it definitely fits.
[Sweetness--Jimmy Eat World]
Hmm, these songs aren't exactly the peppiest songs in the world. Summer is bittersweet at times, and other times it's all joy. I must find the most joyous song I can!
I considerd I'm Yours by Jason Mraz, but, though the song is certainly happy enough, the lyrics are pretty much entirely irrelevant to the idea of summer. I shall keep looking!
[I Dont Wanna Be In Love--Good Charlotte]
I'm thinking the summer love should tie in somewhere. Maybe I Don't Wanna Be In Love by Good Charlotte? It's a song you would hear at a seventh grade dance (trust me, I know this first-hand), and it has a happy undertone, even though it's about not wanting to be in love instead of more of a summer love. Oh well. It's in.

3. I Don't Wanna Be In Love by Good Charlotte

Now I definitely need a truly happy song, one that has no message other than jubilation (I love this word). Tough one.

4. I Don't Care by Fall Out Boy

[Dance, Dance--Fall Out Boy]
I'm not sure about Soul Meets Body (Death Cab for Cutie) or Vindicated (Dashboard Confessional). They're just not really summer, you know? So no go on those two.
Coldplay is too slow and sweet to be summer. But maybe Cobra Starship...?
Cobra Starship can be a little flat at times, but there's a true party in every note. I don't think Good Girls Go Bad or The City is at War really work, so that leaves it down to Guilty Pleasure and/or Send My Love to the Dance Floor.
Hmm. Actually, I don't think any of those work. But I wanna include Cobra Starship...any suggestions? Wait, actually, I think I found one!

5. Send My Love to the Dance Floor by Cobra Starship

Oh my gosh, there is no question about the next one.

6. She Loves Everybody by Chester French

[She Loves Everybody--Chester French]
I think Britney Spears' style is very summer, but I can't think of a song from her that really embodies it. Womanizer is too off-topic, as is If U Seek Amy, and Circus is just not right somehow.

7. It's Still Rock and Roll to Me by Billy Joel

No question.
[The Best Damn Thing--Avril Lavigne]
I love this song, and I think it definitely works. Even if the lyrics are a little off, the spunky (yes, I said spunky) music makes up for it. Definitely.

8. The Best Damn Thing by Avril Lavigne

The only All-American Rejects song that's music is right would be Gives You Hell, and I love the song, but I just got so sick of it after hearing it 24/7. Heck, should I add it anyway?
There's always Alizee 0.o

9. Gives You Hell by The All-American Rejects

I'm weak.
LADY GAGA! Of course. Nothing encompasses 'summer' better than Just Dance.

10. Just Dance by Lady GaGa

Wake Up Call (Maroon 5) is an amazing song, but it's just not right.
Id Engager (Of Montreal) is just a bit to work. Don't get me wrong, I love the song (ohemjay rhyme!) but the theme isn't right.
OK Go! Invincible or Get Over It? How about both!

11. Get Over It by OK Go

P!nk and Panic! at the Disco are both names that include an exclamation point. They're also PERFECT.

12. So What by P!nk

13. Nine in the Afternoon by Panic! at the Disco

Numba 13 is the pure-happiness song I was looking for.What else?
On second thought, I think One of a Kind (PLacebo) will work. At least for moi.

14. One of a Kind by Placebo.

Queen is just too amazing for words. Every single one of their songs should go on this list.

15. Shut Up and Drive by Rihanna

16. Pon de Replay by Rihanna

17. Untouched by The Veronicas

18. I Hate This Part by The Pussycat Dolls

The music is perfect on this song.
Unfortunately, We the Kings is just a bit too somber for summer. I dunno, maybe?
Now for the ultimate dilemma: should I put Don't Trust Me, by 3OH!3, on the playlist? The song that was years old before it become famous? The song I love to death and used to play over and over again before I realized I was hearing it too much? Should I? SHOULD I?
I should.

19. Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3

Please suggest some songs YOU think should go on the playlist. I pinky-promise to check them out.


Billy Mayes :(

Saturday, June 27, 2009

"I'm quick to think, slow to react. Baby, you won't have time to blink. I'm coming back."

Today kinda sucked. Just a little.
It sucked (kind /a/ little) because me and Nat were gonna go to the mall, and it ended up being cancelled because my mom had to be at work by 1, and Nat couldn't make it by 12:30, which was the drop-off-point for my mom. Mom couldn't stay because she COULD NOT be late, and she wouldn't leave me at the mall alone for ten minutes. It sucked.
But I got a Xenga! It's just like Blogger, except spelled Xenga. I got one so I could say hi to Marisa (you all remember her, right?)
That's it. That's the only thing worth mentioning that I did all day.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Confused. "I've told you time and time again, you sing the words but don't know what they mean."

[Teenagers--My Chemical Romance]
Everyone fits into some kind of stereotype. Everyone has a place that they fit perfectly. Where do I fit? My only guess could be the hopeless romantic. I don't know.
[I'm Not Okay--My Chemical Romance]
I WENT TO LOLO'S TODAY! Funfunfun. We couldn't really go hiking in the forest again, because the path we usually took to the felled log (placed conveniently over a river) mysteriously vanished. And there was poison ivy EVERYWHERE. And mosquitos. And gnats. It was generally miserable. But, shockingly, I had fun. I enjoy hanging out with my friends :)
[The Ghost of You--My Chemical Romance]
Of course, I kinda begged Lolo to go to her house ;D I just couldn't go another day sitting at home all day. Of course, I'm going to the mall with Nat tomorrow, but still, I like hanging out with Lolo. BESTEST BUDS FOREVER!!!!!!!!! ;P
Wow, I used 'of course' twice in the same paragraph.
That's it as far as an update goes. I do nothing in summer.
Ugh. It doesn't feel like summer because of the FREAKING CLOUDS! Fudge.
Silver, hurry back from camp! :( Can't wait till August.
[Desolation Row--My Chemical Romance]
[New Divide--Linkin Park]

This shirt is awesome! I couldn't pull it off, but I love it so...For some reason, I think a black pencil skirt might look good with this, but I'm not exactly fashion-oriented, so who knows?

By law, I shouldn't love this shirt, and yet I do. There's something majorly cute about it. The pattern isn't, like, ugly, or overdone. I'm not sure how good it'd look on me, though.
I love the style of this shirt, though the pattern is a bit much. I really just like black and white clothes.
The style is okay (it's pretty similar to the first one, but not as awesome); I mostly just love the color. Green looks pretty good on me, given my hair-and-skin color (blonde and pale).

Thursday, June 25, 2009

But they wee!

Is the greatest phrase in the universe. So great, in fact, that I couldn't put it on my 'Favorite Phrases' list.
I TOTASTICALLY CHANGED THE TEMPLATE OF MY BLOG!!! You like? I certainly do. I know it's pink, but it's cool pink, not Legally Blonde pink. It took forever to get all my widgets back after the template-change deleted them, ugh.
So, Nat and Toogood (my first major crush from forever ago) are starting to become friends. That's...well, that's weird. Me and him could never be friends; he broke my heart and I've confirmed in his eyes that I'm psychotic. But still. Nat always gets the guys.
WOW, do I sound whiny!
Okay, so, I MIGHT have a new crush (thank goodness, it would be boring as hell without one. Wait, no, NOT thank goodness! This is bad!). It's just...whenever he's on Facebook, part of me is terrified out of my mind because I'm afraid of being anywhere near him (even cyberly), and part of me is begging him not to sign off. There's more than that,'s complicated. And it's a secret. A HUGE secret. No one can know! Not even Lolo, Nat, Ani, or Silver.
Silver is at camp :( she won't be back till August!
Birthday in T-minus TWO MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hurrah! It's the 25th, right?
Yeah. So. That's all I have to talk about. Going to the mall on Saturday. Gonna remake our image ;)
Won't that be fun.
Songs bought with the 25$ iTunes card my parents got me-
  1. I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing--Aerosmith
  2. Dirt Room--Blue October
  3. Good Girls Go Bad--Cobra Starship
  4. The Scientist--Coldplay
  5. Situations--Escape the Fate
  6. Jump--Flo Rida (thank you Basil)
  7. LoveGame--Lady GaGa
  8. Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)--Lady GaGa
  9. New Divide--Linkin Park
  10. Desolation Row--My Chemical Romance
  11. Invincible--OK Go
  12. Get Over It--OK Go
  13. Pain--Three Days Grace
  14. Secret Valentine--We the Kings
  15. Skyway Avenue--We the Kings

I still want Don't Ask Me from OK Go and Over and Over from Three Days Grace, but they raised the prices on a lot of songs on iTunes :( I have $5.53 left, though!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Sticky and cryptic.

My parents and I were talking in the car, when my mom mentioned how she could lift 40 pounds with one arm (her good arm, the other is bad). Discouragedly, I pointed out the sadness that 40 pounds was only a third of my weight. To which my parents responded: "Wow, really?" Almost instantly tears sprung up in my eyes. I responded with an ever-brilliant (and thoroughly used-up) "Gee, really boosting my self-esteem there.", but I had to fight to keep my voice steady. I'm gross. And I know my parents will read this, so no, I'm not depressed. I just hate my body.
UPDATE: I never said anything I did since summer started :( Saturday was Lolo's bat mitzvah, which was amazingly fun, and I actually kinda got along with Kim. I hope she's not still mad at me, because that would be pointless. I got a characterature (or however you spell it) done! Haha, I'm buying basil at the supermarket.
Yesterday I went with my mom to the Franklin Institute in Philly. It was actually really fun, even though a lot of the stuff was geared more towards little kids. I ran through the heart TWICE!
There were two things I found particularly interesting there. 1. We went into this heart rate monitor thing, and my heartbeat was around 75. When the creepy voice told me to slow my breathing and such, it went down, but when the creepy voice told me to let go of my stress and such, my heart rate actually went higher than usual.
2. There was a small exibihit about race, where they argued that there was really not enough difference to constitute discrimination (not that there would be anyway) or even really the concept of race. My argument: like it or not, there are physical differences in races. Whether or not there are mental differences is yet to be discovered.
Racism is pretty stupid nowadays. I don't mean actual racism, but how people view it. You're racist if you even acknowledge someone's skin color. And it's really turning around. If you have a black candidate for a job and a white one, with the same level of intelligence and schooling and stuff, an employer will pick the black one so as to appear not racist. Hmmph.
Truly calm water is stagnant, spoiled. What looks like a perfectly serene pool can have a raging undercurrent just underneath the surface.
Earth is the strongest, but it is not invincible- Mountains and gorges, lakes and rivers are all the forces moving and recreating earth.
Fire can be extinguished by water, air, or earth. It's destructive, but fragile.
Air is the most powerful. Air can move earth, water and fire. It's unstoppable. It will go around any obstacle in it's way. But it loses it's energy quickly. It cannot keep a destructive pace. None of the elements could exist without the other. That said, you do not have to be only one element.
My mom is effing brilliant sometimes.
A pale, invisible skin covered the bathroom sink where I shook, alone and anticipating the fervor that would soon overcome my bones and soul. My hand trembled as I smeared on my mom's Las Vegas Red lipstick, as glossy as lipstick could get while still retaining it's eye-popping color. It smudged. For a brief second, I stared at the reflected smudge in the mirror, debating whether I should fix it, then sighed and wiped all of it off on the paper towel I kept by my sink at all times.
I was the lucky one in the group. I was about three inches taller than my tallest friend and much skinnier, with clear skin and D-cups. At fourteen, I looked sixteen, and with the right paint and clothes, I looked nineteen. My hands still trembling, I brushed pink fairy dust on my glass cheeks and--
I shook my head. Liza had warned me about the Poetry. She said I couldn't think like that anymore. So I didn't. I snuck out to clubs with my BFFs pretending I was five years older than I really was, pretending to hook up with twenty-year-olds but leaving with the rest of my friends and leaving them confused and disappointing, pretending to drink the finest liquor in the club but really sipping the cherry soda Maya snuck in her over-sized, one-hundred-percent recycled, shiny beach bag. At fourteen, I knew how to have fun. I didn't need the Poetry.
Turning to face the wall-mirror, I reviewed myself. My butt was propped up with shimmery black pumps and covered with a black leather miniskirt I stole from my 23-year-old sister, Natalie. My shiny silver sequined shirt (the Quadruple S, I called it. It was my favorite club shirt.) was tight enough to show off my figure, which screamed 'over eighteen'. My hair was sloppily curled, hanging loose over my shoulders and past my heart. But it was the face that was the clicker. I leaned in, inspecting every detail. My green eyes were electric with the shadowy darkness I surrounding them in, my cheeks were just plain perfect, and my lips were...regular. I had forgotten to put Las Vegas back on. The manufactured blood was once again slathered over my pale, thin lips, making them beautiful, like the rest of me...yes, I was beautiful, and nineteen, and absolutely used to being beautiful at a pounding, dancing, flashing heaven with other beautiful people.
I was complete. The paint was on, the armour that hid my true identity was on, the attitude that gave me that identity was in place. I swaggered out of my bathroom with the pride of a true champion, a teenage rebel who was fabulous and sparkling and glamorous while rebelling. My parents slept in their bedrooms, unaware what their daughter was doing, unwilling to believe I could ever be anything but an angel.
I was cold. My hands felt as if I had been holding ice, goosebumps rose on my smooth, pale arms. The cold was spreading. I could feel it in my back and I shivered.
Outside. Outside would be warm. I almost ran out the door, almost slamming it, but I didn't due to practice (I couldn't wake up Mom and Dad). Almost instantly, warmth enveloped me. Night was everywhere; the clouds were a thick black blanket hanging over the world and trapping the heat. Streetlights were glowing fairies in the night, beckoning me, leading me away from the cold and the darkness. I followed blindly, stumbling to the sleek gray car my sister left while she visited friends from high school for just a few days. Me and her knew she couldn't stand being with Mom and Dad for more than two of those days she was promising to her old friends. She made sure to spend as little time as possible with them whenever she visited from Princeton.
The fairies were kind and turned on the ignition for me, even going so far as to start driving that car. Natalie had taught me how to drive a little less than a year ago, secretly of course. Mom and Dad couldn't know. It was Natalie who taught me the secrets of makeup and clothes and how you act in a social environment (unintentionally) and it was Natalie who showed me the best clubs to be seen at (unintentionally) and it was Natalie who was the only one who knew what I did sometimes more than once a week (outside my clique). She didn't like it too much, but she never told Mom or Dad. I knew I could trust her.
I didn't go straight to the club. I had to pick up Maisey. There were four of us all, Maisey, Maya, and Catherine. Liza didn't count. She was seventeen and she did not want to be associated with us, only as my counselor. Natalie didn't officially count, because she was an adult and she didn't go to the clubs with us, but she was one of us in an older, college model. She was our hero, our mentor, our role model, whether intentionally or unintentionally.
She was the only one who supported the Poetry. Liza told me it was psychotic, though not in so many words, and my parents shuffled uncomfortably in their chairs and checked the time on their gold watches and stared out the window, pretending the Poetry didn't exist. Natalie asked me to tell her a story every night, at least until Liza found out and yelled at us both, saying the Poetry was stupid and not natural. Natalie is older, but she let Liza yell at her. She never asked me for stories again.
Liza took it upon herself to be our teacher, but she wasn't like Natalie. She snapped at us and told us we looked like sluts and threatened to spread what we did all over school. Usually we just avoided her, but she would follow us and tell us not to talk to him or not to listen to that. She was mean.
But she was also my counselor, which made me her property. I was supposed to listen to her until she deemed me cured. Despite her cruelness, she took her job very seriously. Which meant, when she found out, she joined our club-trips. At first we hoped it would loosen her up, but she didn't have any fun with it. She didn't dance and didn't respond when a guy flirted with her, she just sat and watched us and glared.
She wasn't coming tonight.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I wanna kiss you, but if I do then I might miss you, babe.

[LoveGame--Lady Gaga]
Aw, crap. Sadness. Imma have to say goodbye to Tyler.
It's a long, painful story.
Ugh. On a brighter note, there's only one more day of school! I'm so...happy. It hasn't really registered yet, but omgizzles. It's like this year has been my entire life. There's been nothing outside of the last 181 days. And the entire year has been leading up to this second.
Part of me feels a little betrayed.
Just a little announcement.
I went to the mall with my dad earlier today, and I actually told him a lot that was going on right now, and I explained a lot of things. It felt good to release so much and just talk. I mean, maybe it's my own fault, but I feel like I can't tell some things to a lot of my friends.
Maybe it's just me.
[Eh, Eh--Lady Gaga]

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Aw, shucks, friend. I was just about to say the same thing.

What element am I?

Water? No. Water can be loud and violent and merciless, but it can also be calm, and I am never really that calm.

Air? It's invisible and silent sometimes, but it can cause enormous devastation and get whipped up into a real storm at a moment's notice. Close.

Earth? No way. Earth is immovable, resolute, and strong. I am none of these things.

Fire? It can't exist unless it's burning, blazing, destroying everything in it's path. Sometimes something new is created after the flames, but fire has no calm state, no meditative relaxation. I cannot be fire. I am not always burning.

So, air fits the most, and yet it's not really me. I can be fire, but I'm not all the time. I'm definitely not earth, because it's too unmoldable, or water, because I've never been so perfectly serene.

So what am I?

I should make quizzes on Facebook.

I hate Ringo, and I cannot understand how anyone, anywhere, could like her. She's unbearable. She's the mentos to my coke, as Silver and Lolo so brilliantly put it. You can't blame the coke for exploding when it has mentos in it.

I know what you mean when you say you feel lonely. I feel the same way. With less reason, but I do.
I'm lonely too.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Majorly Fantastic.

[Good Girls Go Bad--Cobra Starship]
Majorly fantastic is life right now. Why? I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
Summer is almost here!
And I met Tyler at camp last Sunday!
And he's the nicest boy on the face of the planet!
And he tried to teach me how to swim!
And even though he's fifteen and I'm twelve, he still likes me!
And ever since he said he liked me, I've completely forgotten Basil!
If you know me, you know I'm not usually one to feel so upbeat and happy and stuff. But now I AM THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE! Nothing can bring me down. Floating on sunshine all day, I am. Though I don't always look it X)
Six days ;)
I will, as of now, make an effort to hang out with my friends more. Because I haven't. And I should. So I will. BRILLIANT!
I'll also try to blog more regularly, as opposed to every nine days. Because I just KNOW everyone misses me in the blogosphere :)
And I won't think about bad, icky things, like fifth grade and my peeling face (sunburn).
I'm curious.
What do you think of me?
EVERYONE MUST COMMENT. My blog friends, my real-life friends, the quieter people who read my blog and never comment that I don't know about (I'm assuming there are some, but with the way I've been blogging lately, I wouldn't be surprised if their weren't).

You have to put the feeling into words.

I hate change. Change in perception, change in circumstances, change in environment. Temporary change (going to the movies instead of the mall) is good, but not permanent. I can't handle it. It's like putting a fish under a rock.
I especially hate change in people.
One day, you wake up and realize the people you love aren't who you thought they were. By inches, they show you that there's a radically different side to them then you originally thought. At first you just ignore it, deny that other side being there, but eventually inches turns to feet and yards and before you know it, you see a whole mile of this person laid out in front of you, and it's not at all what you'd expect.
This is the part I can't deal with. Because, though you know so much of them, they still feel like strangers.
I'm so confused. It feels like everything is changing, but so slowly it's unnoticeable and unstoppable. I feel like I'm losing people. It's scary.
Sorry for the wacky blogging. It seems I never blog anymore, and when I do it sucks. Forgive me, dear readers! *throws hands in the air, sinks to knees, cries "I am not worthy"*

Sunday, June 7, 2009

OMG! <3<3<3


Tuesday, June 2, 2009

It is they who shine, but us who exist.

It is night in Newton City.
Everywhere is the sound of music. There is no rest for the beautiful, the wealthy.
They party all night to the sound of electronica.
Life is one long enjoyment to them,
and death is meaningless, for they are immortal in their glory.
On the streets of Newton City, the forsaken comes to life.
They begin to roam the streets.
They are on the hunt.
The immortals of Newton City are unaware of the forsaken ones,
for they are invisible to all.
All except one.
The dark and mysterious ones are all-powerful,
and all-knowing
and beautiful
and dangerous.
Especially one.
The one they call Mytyca.
The one who wants control of Newton City
and will stop at nothing to get it.
The one who watches with solemn eyes
the petty immortals.
The one who is more violent and bloodthirsty
than anyone in history was before.
The one who has seen things that should not exist
and felt things that no other being has.
The one who is the most powerful being on earth.
Only one can stop him.
The rejected immortal they call Itana.
Itana Shaline is the only one who can see
the forsaken ones,
and the only one who can save Newton City
from the wrath of the betrayed.
There is no one who can stop Mytyca
except one.