Thursday, June 11, 2009

You have to put the feeling into words.

I hate change. Change in perception, change in circumstances, change in environment. Temporary change (going to the movies instead of the mall) is good, but not permanent. I can't handle it. It's like putting a fish under a rock.
I especially hate change in people.
One day, you wake up and realize the people you love aren't who you thought they were. By inches, they show you that there's a radically different side to them then you originally thought. At first you just ignore it, deny that other side being there, but eventually inches turns to feet and yards and before you know it, you see a whole mile of this person laid out in front of you, and it's not at all what you'd expect.
This is the part I can't deal with. Because, though you know so much of them, they still feel like strangers.
I'm so confused. It feels like everything is changing, but so slowly it's unnoticeable and unstoppable. I feel like I'm losing people. It's scary.
Sorry for the wacky blogging. It seems I never blog anymore, and when I do it sucks. Forgive me, dear readers! *throws hands in the air, sinks to knees, cries "I am not worthy"*


  1. Hey! Long time no talk.
    Agreed. With pretty much everything you said.
    Last year my friends and I were sent to different high schools, and we started hanging out with other people. When we would finally talk, things weren't the same. I never figured out why. We aren't what you would call "chatty".

    You miss the way things used to be, but when you try and fix it, nothing helps.

    It happened with my bestie last year, and with one of my other friends. We just stopped hanging out. Too much had changed.

    So basically, I know what you mean.

    And I always enjoy reading what you write.

    Much love,

  2. Yes, I've had very much the same feeling.

    It stinks, I know, so I'm sorry. :/

  3. Kathryn-
    I still can't comment on your blog! Please, please, please, find a way to fix it!
    Ugh. I feel like we never do anything together anymore, even though a few months ago we were insanely close. And sometimes they surprise me, like I don't know them as well as I thought.
    Don't you hate when you get into a fight with one of your friends, and you try to fix it, but the wound's just too deep and things are weird forever? It sucks. Majorly.
    But enough complaining.
    Thanks :)

    I can actually comment on your blog, so why am I responding here 0.0

  4. Anytime:)
    And I know! I such with technology. It's a miracle that I'm even able to work my ipod. I'll try to fix it though!

    And yeah, I know what you're saying. The whole thing with the bestie went down like this [short version]: went to different schools, never really talked anymore, I had to go up to her school in the afternoon every week for band and saw her, she never said anything, she didn't even look at me, she says she doesn't really see the point of being friends anymore, all hell breaks loose. Then she does want to be friends, but she still doesn't talk to me.
    There's more, but I don't think I can bring myself to say it. Too exhausting.
    But yeah, after that whole thing, I have no idea where we stand. It's ridiculous that things could change so drastically so quickly.

    Ha, so yeah, I hate it. A lot.

    Eh, complaining is the meaning of my existence. I do it well.


  5. Hahaha I hope you do. It's kind weird commenting on my own blog...

    Wow :'( That's horrible!
    I know what you mean about things changing so drastically so quickly. Now I can't think of anything else to say.