Friday, April 30, 2010

NJASK, Part Four

I'm really behind. Oh well. Maybe next month?
My cuts have been bugging me all day. And for some reason, I can't type. It doesn't help that the keyboard's malfunctioning.
Science portion today. It was...not very easy. Most of them were just common-sense problems though, so they didn't require much actual knowledge of, oh, say, the rock cycle. I really need chapstick and it's bugging the hell out of me. I also have to pick up a bunch of leaf clippings before tomorrow morning...ugh...
I just freaked out on the malfunctioning keyboard and, uh, banged it a couple times. It turns off for a moment. But it's fine now!
We must have a Perfect Petroleum Pipeline Picnic, and Violet and Kim want me to go bathing suit shopping with them. As if going to a water park wasn't bad enough. Ugh. I have to see if my old bathing suit still fits me......
Oh, and a new project in LA. We have to do some kinda art thing about the Holocaust. Fun. I know what I want to do, but I'm not much of a painter....
Oh, and in LA, I guess SOMETHING of mild interest happened. I guess Basil asked for a pen or something, so Thall takes my pencil case and gives him a green Sharpie from it. He kinda laughed. Then when he was done with it, he held it out to me. I dunno. It was weird.

Throw a coin into the sea...

Sharebe--Violet has a blog now! Check it out, man.
I have finished summarizing my story that would be so much better as a movie. Indeed.
Last night the cat tried to kill my hand. was my fault. He was in a "mood." I don't think he actually realized it was only me and not the dog, haha. Anyway, usually when he's like that, I have to hold him by his neck and just keep him still until he calms down.That's what I did...except he was on his back, so his claws were in the perfect position to freak out on me. Lovely. And of course, and soon as I got it all cleaned up and returned to take him downstairs, he had calmed down.
That was a boring paragraph. FORGIVE ME.
I had an epic dream the night before :D

Thursday, April 29, 2010

NJASK, Part Three

Ew. Math.
No. I like math. Just not three straight hours of it. I mean, heck, it was all really easy, but SERIOUSLY. THREE HOURS. No. And I kind of had a miffness with Silver that was foofy. But now it's cool!
Lunch kinda sucked. I had been in a drag since the miffness and then I got into a, uh, discussion with Kim about going to a water park, which I don't want to do. And Ani yelled at me. I know she was just kidding, but still. I mean, you ever been doing something and then everyone attacks you for it? Like it's you against everyone else and you're losing? That's kinda how I felt. Of course, these 'moments' are better than my breakdowns last year. Wow...
We watched some weirdish documentary called Paperclips. Southern accents really bother me. Just sayin'. I'm sure they're all lovely people.......
Haha. My dad says that sometimes I got the accent of an arrogant New Englander. Hah, considering I am, I can see that.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

NJASK, Part Two

There was no story prompt!!!
I was totally going to KICK ASS with the story prompt and they DIDN'T HAVE ONE!!!!
For this I am sad. Stupid open-ended. The good news is that math is tomorrow, and math is the best. The bad news is that today in math class I totally didn't get it. I mean, I THOUGHT I was doing it how I was supposed to, but the answers were just frustrating me. Poo.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

NJASK, Part One

Fuhhhhhhhhh the first day is the worst. Two open-ended responses and a persuasive essay on how hard it is to be a teenager, plus a crapload of ridiculously easy multiple choice. They said we could read this time but never gave us an oppurtunity to read our books...what?
Tomorrow, presumabely more open-ended and either a story or a three-paragraph essay. You can guess which one I'm rooting for. Then we have science (which I think happens every four years?) and then THREE HOURS of math. Ughhhhh. Standardized testing is not my favorite thing.
[The Night Starts Here--Stars]
No one believes me when I say I don't like Basil anymore. No one. NO ONE. Not even the people I don't know very well! Like, wtf? Why is it so hard to believe? It's not I was going to like him forever. Jesus, he's such a dickwad...ugh....revenge.....oops. Did that slip out?
That's pretty much all. G'Bye.

Monday, April 26, 2010

See, I was thinking that I lost my mind, but it's getting to me all this time--and it don't stop dragging me down.

[Tranquilize--The Killers ft. Lou Reed]
I am freaking addicted to this song. Yeeeeeeeee. Listen to it. I don't even know why I love it so much. I just do. I don't get the video at all, but heck. This song is so different from every other Killers song.......I actually don't like the guy's voice that much, but everything else is cool.
NJASK starts tomorrow. Ugh. The only positive thing about the entire test is that Silver is in the same room as me. Seriously, it's just an enormous waste of time. I always ace it, but seriously? WHY?
Other than that....yeah, nothing happened today. Silver refuses to tell Stalker how much she, uh, dislikes him and is majorly creeped out by him and that he should leave her alone because...why? Besides the fact that she doesn't want to be mean, which is stupid. She's actually afraid of him, which is understandable--I am too, ugh; he's so creepy--but she REFUSES to do anything about it. YOU HEAR THAT, SILVER?
Some people really piss me off.
The lead singer dude looks so much better with this hair than with his other hair....

Sunday, April 25, 2010


The mall was actually really fun. We spent, like, five hours there, and my cash went from $74 to $28, ugh. So much for saving. But I bought this beautiful purple dress from PacSun that I will be wearing to's awesome...and Isabelle and Kim made me try on a crapload of bathing suits. Ugh. We had a late lunch in the Nordstrom's Cafe, where we played truth-or-dare and I FINALLY found out who Bruce is taking to the dance (Manda. Wtf.) It
That is all I have to say on the matter, thank you.
Dude. I really, really, really want a chocolate poptart even though I'm not hungry at all....

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Salad Sonata, Part Two: The Accompaniment

I have done it again.

  1. Honeydew. Honeydew is amazing. An entire one, yes.
  2. Half a canteloupe. In case you weren't sure, canteloupe are huge. You won't have as much as the other stuff, but seriously, just use half. Oh, and don't forget to cut the skin off! It may be decieving, cuz it's the same color and all that, but it's really hard and chewy and yicky.
  3. One small watermelon! Oh my God, I love watermelon. It is far superior to every other melon on the planet. Use a small one, though! Or half of a large one, I suppose.
  4. About 1/4 a bag of shredded coconut. Mmmmm.
I am a master chef, yes.

Salad Sonata, Part One

I'm disappointed no one commented on my freaking long entry yesterday.

Ah, yes! My salad. It is true, I am a master chef.

  1. 5-7 little apples. They have to be small, or else you'll have a crapload of apple in your salad. I used Red Delicious**, but I guess the kind doesn't matter so much. Whatever's your favorite. Cut them into little peices, kay? Like, bite-sized.
  2. 3 large grapefruit. Don't worry about the mass amount of juice that collects on the bottom. It is so unbelievably delicious. It makes the entire salad so much better.
    Today, I learned how to cut grapefruit. This makes my life complete. I also spent FOREVER getting every little peice off of the inside-skin, because I cook with LOVE.
  3. 20 or so strawberries. Or, whatever amount fits best with the rest of it. The strawberries I used were pretty old, to the point that like two of them were growing mold and they were all really dark. Obviously, don't use the moldy ones, or the ones that are too disgusting to even look at. Fresh strawberries are probably best, but my mom wanted me to use the oldest, so, blah.
  4. About 1/3 a bag of shredded coconut. I actually stole this from another fruit salad I made once, which was amazing. It was like...melon, mango, shredded coconut, and mint. YUM.
**I think, in this case, Granny Smith would've been better. More flavorful, you know? However, the Red Delicious counters the tanginess of the grapefruit nicely.
Also: I really wanted to put in blackberries and banana, but the banana would've gone bad really fast, and the blackberries were frozen so they would've gotten all soggy. So nyah.
Look at for: Salad Sonata, Part Two: The Accompaniment.

I currenly have toothpaste on my face. Why?
I realized that my face was more icky than usual, so I cleaned it and applied the acne stuff, as usual. Then I remembered this weird thing I had heard once about toothpaste. So (as all millineals do) I Googled it! Indeed. Turns out, toothpaste works on acne really well (or it leaves a hideous, tomato tomahto), so about an hour-and-a-half ago, I put some on.  And it *kinda* worked! It did draw, you know, the stuff out (euch), but not much I put another layer on, and at 3:40, I'll try again.
Yum. Coconut.

Friday, April 23, 2010

It travels places you've never been or seen before.

[The Night Starts Here--Stars]
The theme of the Farewell Dance is a cruise. As if we were on a cruise ship, when really we're just in the gym. The guys are instructed to wear polos and shorts, when the girls "can wear whatever is appropiate to the theme." BLAHHHH.
I really liked this dress, but everyone asked thought it was boring. Sigh. Any suggestions for a cruise-themed dress?

Hung out with Nat and Lolo! We mostly staid at the park, where we saw Sally, who lives in the same neighborhood as them but not, like, within walking distance because their neighborhood is insanely big.
[Your Ex-Lover is Dead--Stars]
I enjoy Stars.
Umm, we mostly discussed movies there, and there was some younger chick I had never seen before and kind of didn't give off a great first impression. I also ate a bagel.

Halden volunteered us to punch out little green triangles, protractors, and rulers for the NJASK. All 800 of them. That stupid---ugh. She does that SO MUCH. Like, seriously, we're not a damn sweat shop. I don't even mind doing the work, it's just she VOLUNTEERS us to do it and doesn't do a damned thing herself. If she had asked, I would be fine with it. Hell, it wasn't like we weren't doing any thing. Like, half the class has to present ILP. Ugh.
For Content Lit, we went outside, which is always fun.
None of my friends will believe me when I say I DON'T like anyone. Not Oregano, not Basil, no one, SERIOUSLY. There's a first time for everything!
Thall really creeps me out. I dunno, he just does. He's all...popular. And tall. That was his nickname, haha, before Lolo changed it. Anyway. He's scary. It's like he's never serious but he's not a funny guy, you know? He totally stole my pencil today, sigh. When people I'm not really friends with do stuff like that, I just go along with it. I mean, he gave it back. He was just playing with the lead, but really? And God, his eyes are SO BLUE. They completely stand out from his face.
[Maybe I'm Just Tired--As Tall As Lions]
I almost forgot, yesterday Basil was talking about how he bumped into Elaina, and I just started laughing. And Thall gave me a look and said "What?" in that not-serious way of his. And I just laughed more. It was weird. I probably seemed mentally unbalanced, but then, when do I not?
French was not nearly as fun as yesterday. LA was actually decent, for some reason. Humanities was a test that I probably didn't score my usual 100 on, so bleh. Science was just putting up with Aaron's not-smartness (I won't say idiocracy, sigh) and completing a useless NJASK prep thing (we actually have a science portion this year, ugh). Math was also a test, one that I wish was longer so I could keep doing. I really really REALLY love doing these problems. It's like complicated algebra. Actually, it's multiplying and dividing complex fractions, but I could literally do a million of them...actually, yesterday, I finished an entire half of a problem sheet just because I love doing this stuff so much.
[The Night Starts Here--Stars]
OH, and I'm going to the mall on Sunday with Kim and Izzy! Fun. Izzy's not really a close friend, but it doesn't seem that bad to hang out with her. I need a new bathing suit, ugh X( Not looking forward to trying those on.
Hurray for June 9th. Hurray.

This counts as two entries.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


Just spent two hours at a dinky mall with my parents. Ugh. The only thing I can remember about the day is that Oregano totally bitchslapped me three times (don't ask) and now I have to get him back. Rah.
For some reason every time I eat something sugary or artificial I feel sick. Ugh, I wish I could just survive on grape fruit and strawberries. I would eat healthier, except my parents buy a bunch of crap at the stores and heck, it's in front of me. What am I supposed to do? I wish my mom would just buy nothing but fruits and veggies for, like, a week. Ugh, I feel all bogged down in, like, smog. And artificialness. Like I'm ingesting a bunch of crap and it's poisoning me. But not as melodramatic....
Ugh, I lost my awesome green rubber bad!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


I suppose a lot of schtuff happened today, but the things I can think of most is:
  1. I exchanged Oregano's identity with Kim for the SuperSecret, which was actually pretty stupid. They thought I would be mad. I would not be mad!
  2. On the bus today, two girls (JazzyFazz and Tuba) asked if I liked Oregano...naturally, I said no, but I wonder if it's really that obvious?
  3. I'm considering saying I lied about Oregano to Kim...even though she'd be mad at me...but I feel bad that I can't keep a secret for a day. No. I have no self-control whatsoever.
    I guess there's a fine line between my need for attention...After they get bored and stop guessing who it is, and after I tell them and they gush about it for awhile and get bored, and when I keep trying to bring it up again because I am an attention whore. There, I said it. IT'S TRUE. IT BUGS THE SHIT OUT OF ME WHEN THE TOPIC ISN'T ON ME!!!
  4. Basil wasn't here today, but.....I.....don't really care. It was more like 'whatever', you know?
    Not saying I'd never want to see him again. But it's not a necessity.
  5. We've officially started our feild hockey unit in gym, which was sore. I actually ran most of the two laps, though!!! I do wonders when I'm competing with Kim.
    I also learned that I'm not flexible in any way.
  6. Report cards...ugh. I'll post. This is pretty much all the important stuff anyway, so...
Art A. This is actually a surprise....previously I got an A+. It might've been because I didn't actually finish one of the projects, hah.
French B. Good progress, Respectful to teachers/peers. In all fairness, the tests were killer this marking period.
Humanities B+. Excellent progress. I....kind of expected this....
Math B. Good progress. *sigh*
Language Arts A+ Excellent progress, Is a pleasure to have in class. It seems the less I like Halden, the more she likes me.
Oh, by the way, she insisted yesterday that I write something else for the paper...I suppose I should...
Music A. Good progress. This is the first time EVER I've gotten a comment on music.
Gym A. Good progress. Damn! This went down too! HOW? I must've forgotten gym clothes one day....OMG HEALTH. DAMN HEALTH.
Science A+. Excellent progress, Is a pleasure to have in class. :D
Tech A+. This class really shouldn't require a grade. It's pretty much impossible to get below an A+.

*sigh* So not cool. Not cool at all.

Monday, April 19, 2010


Dude, I got to 200 posts in a breeze, and yet I'm still 19 posts away from 400. WHY?
WAIT WHAT? Dude! 400! I thought it was 300! Heh, never mind...

Okay, so, guys are sick. That is all I have to say about LA.
Oh, and I figure if I repeat something enough times it'll become true. So: ilikeoreganoilikeoreganoilikeoreganoilikeoreganoilikeoregano!
Heh. Oregano. The new beau, yes? He actually already has a nickname, I'm just not using it. I mean I don't even LIKE him, just a little, you know? Or, rather, I want to. Better him than still hanging on to the last vestiges of Basil. I just wish I had more time to talk to him, besides where I USUALLY talk to him, which is also wear I can't have a decent conversation. Sorry for being cryptic. So far only one person knows and I'm dying to keep it that way.
My day was pretty good, though. ILP wasn't nearly as painful as last year or the year before. I just wish I could present and get it over with....
AMAXING! (hehAli.)

Saturday, April 17, 2010


I really have absolutely nothing to blog about. I'M SO SAD AND LONELY WAAAAAAH.
Here is a question for all ye blog-maids and gents our there....should I get bangs? I really hate my hair right now, but REALLY, should I get bangs?

Friday, April 16, 2010

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down.

There is something so mellow-tasticly addictive about this song. It's boring, and yet I like listening to it. Plus, the singer reminds me of this guy in my class.
Okay, well, Spirit Week Grande Finale. The door Sharebear made everyone else slave over recieved.....second. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN F*CKING EIGHT YEARS, MAROON IS IN THE LEAD! That's freaking gay. The ONE year we're not in it, and it's winning!
Oh, but I watched Basil get pied (musical pies=best Spirit Week game) twice. And I mean SLAMMED. But he still won that game :) He also slipped on all the whipped cream from the pies which was on the floor.
I ADORE this song, but stupid iTunes won't let me buy it. Eff you, iTunes.
The bus was fun, actually. I like Bruce.

No, it really isn't.

I mean my name. It's actually Millicent Rebecca Cucumber.
So, remember that project I had to do in LA? The scrapbook about an oppressed people? I finished in about three hours last night, and it probably turned out better than, like, 95% of the LC's. I did Japanese Americans right after the bombing of Pearl Harbor so, naturally, the color theme was red-and-white. I wish I had more time to edit it, honestly...but overall, it's pretty awesome!
In case you were wondering, friends, that (^) is how you waste a paragraph.
You know, I actually wouldn't mind if my name was Millicent Rebecca Cucumber.
IT'S TOTALLY FRIDAY! Yes, I am writing this in the morning before school. I felt bad about neglecting you guys for so long and knew I'd just forget in the afternoon, so......I really have nothing to talk about, except that. Last day of Spirit Week. The dance is tonight, but I really have no desire to go. Fushaw. Yesthatisaword.
Except for the whole 'Millicent' part. Euch.
I haven't written in days. I'm just not feeling it, ya know? Plus, I'm already itching to get away from the story, to start something new. I have the attention span of a squirrel.
Now I'm off to go cheer for navy.....

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I find it hard to believe we're in heaven.

I wish I could write a story half as epic as V for Vendetta.
Well, LA didn't suck today! At least, I wasn't basking in misery the entire time. Awkwardness still oozed from the walls, but there's no much to be done about that.

Monday, April 12, 2010

They are illusions, and not the solutions they promise to be.

Well, today is the start of Spirit Week, in which my LC is navy for the first time EVER. It's weird. I feel like I can't be loyal to it (even though I can.) You see, navy is rigged to win EVERY YEAR. So, when you're maroon, you could say that you WOULD'VE won if it hadn't been rigged. What are you supposed to say when you're navy? Awww, sorry we cheat, it's not our choice, it's just the way of the school?
Oh, hum....Leo does not like Kim and DouFou does not like Silver. I know because I asked. Neither of them like anyone...only as friends. Foohey.
Gym today got interrupted by a fire alarm. Not a fire drill, mind you! This stuff was the real deal. Nay, 'twas a fire ALARM.
And I have nothing more to say. Farewell!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

And I feel something....

I would be more excited, except I have a headache X(
It was fun! And dramatic. But mostly fun. Silver and Kim were over, and we totally had a stuffed-animal fight and had makeovers and played truth or dare and ate pizza/soda/cookies and watched The Lion King (I totally fell asleep!!! Noooooez!!!) and then went back upstairs and talked for, like, an hour! And then we slept. And then when we woke up Silver wouldn't up but then we made her because we were going to iHop (I KNOW, who goes out to breakfast after sleepovers?!) and then we played Guitar Hero and then Silver had to leave (sadness....) but Kim staid for two more hours and we played hide-and-seek and started to play Battleship only her mom got there right when we started...yeah. Such was my night. Oh, andSILVERTOLDUSASECRETBUTKIMANDSILVERSTILLHAVEN'TTOLDMETHESUPERSECRETEEEEEEEEEE!
I totally can't wait till August 24. It's the day before my birthday, yes, but it's ALSO when the third Hunger Games book is coming out!!!!! w00t!!!

Thursday, April 8, 2010


I promised myself I'd blog every day this April, and here I am, forgetting. Bah.....I mean, in my benefit, I wasn't on the computer much today. I got NO writing done. And it's not like I had anything to say anyway...the movie Life is Beautiful is really, really sad. Like, incredibly so. I actually cried. In the middle of school. Can I help that I'm emotional?
*sigh* What other people call mean I call honest.....

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

There's really not much more to say.

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
by Edgar Allen Poe

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

When did I turn into this?

Sorry for the craptastic blogging lately. Between crappy stories and crappy whining, I'm really just shoving crap down your throats, aren't I? I'm just miserable.
I kinda wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow. Actually, I really wish that.
Do most people have a happy place? It just occured to me, I don't. I should make one up.

Well, I got 100 on my math test. I guess that's a good thing.
Oh, and we FINALLY won in debate club! Only it didn't really count, since there were only six, Silver, and four random sixth graders who seem to really like debate club. It was me and Silver against them, naturally. Our topic was the death penalty, and it was WAY easier to organize an argument with only two people, and we WON. My joy is slightly diminished by the fact that we were arguing against sixth graders, but whatever. We still won!

Monday, April 5, 2010

History for sale...

Which, by the way, is the name of a Blue October album.

I have a lot to say....but nothing that I'd admit to anyone. I feel like I'm dying till summer gets here, till I can escape this place. It's not just the school, the people, or the situation...I want to escape myself. I want to break free of this mess that is me and just be different. I feel so bogged down, you know? It's not like I hate myself--I like parts of myself, and resent others--but I don't feel like myself. I feel like...this isn't the place I'm supposed to be. Or I'm not the person I'm supposed to be.
....or I just have such crap self-esteem that I'd do anything to be someone different.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

A freak of nature, stuck in reality.

[Follow Me Down--3OH!3]
I feel really pretentious putting poetry in things I'm writing, and yet, I do anyway.
It is INSANELY FRUSTRATING writing this story again, even if it is better. Like, seriously, that's 50 pages I have to rewrite. It is REALLY annoying. I'm trying to force myself to keep writing, but I only have seven pages. And at the same time, I ONLY HAVE SEVEN PAGES. I write the plot way too fast. I mean, they've already been there two days, and I'm only on page seven. Things in my stories happen way too fast.
[Strange--Tokio Hotel & Kerli]
I'm bored now. Off to write. Wish me luck.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Since I seem to be in the habit of posting stories...

This is a remake. I'm already getting impatient of rewriting stuff I already wrote, even if it is better than the original.

Chapter 1—Emma

I was the bane of Woodrow James High School.
It was not difficult. In sunny Woodrow Heights, everyone was rich, everyone entitled, everyone snobbish and supposedly classy. You could tell someone their socks were crooked and they would hate you for life. You could have more money. You could be more popular. It was a wonder anyone had any friends at all.
And the thing they hated you the most for was the same at any other school, in any other town…being different. Most people didn’t have to worry about that. Most people fit into the mold quite well—owned expensive cars, wore expensive cars, missed school to get their hair done or were on at least one sports team.
I did not, and was not. I was literally the school’s only freak, the only one without a clique—I was Goth.
It was honestly my favorite costume. I wore nothing but dark colors, baggy clothing, chains and a constant glare. I only turned in enough homework to pass. I was lazy, rude. In fact, the only thing that connected me to the people at this school was my car—a Mercedes—a gift from the Heads.
The drawback, of course, was that I had to cut myself—every Friday I showed up with fresh scars. I hated it. I was beginning to cringe away from knives—but it was necessary. The scars, the pain, was necessary. I believed that. I trusted the Heads. They, if anyone, knew what they were doing.
The teacher’s voice broke me from my reverie. “Damon!” He was a saggy, balding man of around 58—one kid, one ex-wife, one miserable life. He lived out-of-town, like most of the teachers. He was not wealthy, or snobby, only pathetically dejected. “Pay attention.”
I made a point of glaring at him till he looked away, and immediately resumed zoning out, thinking about my Mission. It was to test open-mindedness, in a way. If everyone hated me, if I was an outcast beyond outcasts, would anyone be kind? Would anyone extend an olive branch, try to get to know me before dismissing me as a freak? Could they?
I doubted it.
I had express orders to not put up much of a front if someone was friendly. If I did, they’d have an excuse not to, and the Mission would be useless. It didn’t seem to matter here. If someone did, however—if someone did become my friend—I’d vanish. Disappear. Feed some story about my parents getting a new job into the school. Something generic, unsusceptible. No one would care anyway.
Except, maybe, the kind one—the one who disregarded my outer appearance to get to know me, the one who decided I just needed a chance. It hardly mattered. I would say goodbye, they would feel sad, and that would be that. No one got attached. No one kept in contact. Eventually, both parties would forget.
A movement at the door caught my attention.
There stood a girl—one I didn’t recognize, so she must’ve been new. She was clutching some binders and a wrinkled paper—her schedule, probably. And the moment I saw her, something snapped within me.
She had a pale, freckled face, framed by long, straight hair. It was a mix of red and brown, like dark auburn, and matched her eyes almost exactly. She was pretty, but less obviously so…subtlety beautiful. And that scared me, because I’d never seen anyone as beautiful before, especially not in this school.
“Ummm…” Her eyes scanned the classroom, wide and deer-like, but also somewhat determined. “Um, is this English 4H?”
I nodded very slightly to myself, still shocked, still terrified of this girl. Her expression and her look suggested innocence…she had a young, gentle face…but there was something in her eyes that screamed defiance.
The teacher—what his name? Mr. Dawson—nodded, gesturing around the room. “Find a seat.”
Of course, the only free seat was in the back of the room, next to me. Pairs of tables were pushed together, since Mr. Dawson believed in partners so much. We were isolated from the rest of the class—just us two. She didn’t grimace, though—she smiled slightly, her soft eyes somehow burning holes in my skull. I stared straight ahead, slumped over my desk, pretending not to care.
“You must be Damon,” she whispered as soon as she was situated. Some students stared, but she didn’t seem to notice. She smirked. “Dolly Henson told me about you.”
I hated Dolly already. I hated her almost religiously. But now, the hate exploded within me, threatening to choke me. I blinked once. I was well-trained on not showing emotion.
“She said you were a…freak.” The girl fumbled with her binder, no longer looking at me. “Actually, she said you were an emo fag, but she also called you a freak.”
I ignored her. I was trained.
The girl smiled slightly. “I’m Emma, by the way.”
“Did I ask your name?”
My voice was cold, calculated, but she didn’t seem to notice. Her smile deepened. And, when Mr. Dawson finished writing on the board (I can’t for the life of me remember what it said) and turned to the class to talk, she stood up straighter in her chair and actually paid attention. It was unbelievable.
He described some sort of project—something about Shakespeare, which we were studying—and I was completely zoning out until he said partners.
My blood ran cold. I had sat alone for months. I worked alone. No one filled my seat, no one ever worked with me on anything. But now the seat was filled, and now this girl would be my partner in whatever the hell kind of project he had just assigned.
Her smile deepened further, revealing perfectly straight, pearly white teeth. Everyone in this school had perfect teeth. It comforted me, a little. She was just like everyone else in this school, even if she was new. She had to be.
“Did you hear what he said?” she whispered. Some people shot her pity-glances, but she disregarded them completely. “He said we had to pick a sonnet and make a poster about it. Isn’t that awesome? I love Shakespeare…”
Who was this girl, and why was she so excited to be talking to me? Especially after Dolly got a hold of her. Dolly was like my own personal anti-cheerleader—her life’s mission seemed to be to get people to hate me.
Truthfully, though, I loved Shakespeare as well. But the thought of talking about sonnets with this girl terrified me more than her lovely face did.
“This project will be due on Monday…” The class groaned. “And anyone who does not turn theirs in on time…” Dawson eyed each and every student, or at least the ones in the front row. “Will be reprimanded. Severely.”
“Crap.” Emma frowned, but it looked like more of a pout. “We only have, like, a day…”
You only have a day,” I muttered.
She raised an eyebrow—a very perfectly shaped eyebrow, I noticed. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“I could care less about some fag in the fourteenth century.” My voice was like ice, but she didn’t show anything but amusement.
Fifteenth century,” she corrected smugly. Dawson was passing project sheets out—she took one and slid it to me. “And is that what you think? Well, then. Read the paper anyway.”

I'm happy, because I added another page to what originally was only 2 pages. Oh, and forgive me, o gay people, for the use of the word 'fag'. I'm not trying to be insulting. Really, I'm not! But I can't just use "jerk" all the time, you know. I mean, really. 'She said you were an emo jerk.', or 'She said you were an emo meanie.', or 'She said you were emo.' which isn't as insulting. Oh, and I LOVE Shakespeare. So, don't be insulted either, Shakespeare.

This thing called love...

I don't actually have anything to blog about, given that it's currently 8:43 a.m. I probably won't at 8:43 p.m. either, but regardless....I am putting off cleaning the living room. There, I said it. I've already finished the bathroom and kitchen (with the exception of mopping) and now all that's left is the living room....someone shoot me now....or clean for me!
Also, I didn't want to leave you with that atrocity of a story I wrote yesterday.
So, I have officially done nothing this entire break except that thing on Wednesday. Not that this is unusual, of course. I'm an old hand at sitting at home being bored while my friends go out and have fun with each other! *is bitter*
But I'm free tomorrow!!!! Assuming I finish the living room (which I hope I do, since I'll be grounded for the rest of April if I don't). I've been trying to get a hold of Lolo, but NOOOOO, she can never answer her phone! I mean, I know, usually, when I ask at the last minute, they're always busy. So I figured, "HEY! Why not ask beforehand if she's free on Sunday?" Unfortunately, no. Such is my luck.
*sigh* I was going to write "Wish me luck", but then that would sound redundant because I just said "luck". MEH.
You could just magically transport to my house and clean my living room for me. That would be appreciated.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Meh. I use "--" way too much.

The new "recruits"--that's what they called them, though they were really just reckless volunteers--followed Aia with increasing looks of apprehension. I knew what they were thinking. They were either excited to be finally apart of the revolution, or  they were wondering if it was a trap. Or they, like I did when I was in their shoes, were wondering why the most influential person in the nation, the centerpiece to the entire operation, the brains and the power behind the New Order, had such a feminine build.
They couldn't see her face, of course--no one did, except a trusted few, myself included. But no mask in the world could hide how tiny she was--how petite, how thin, how childlike. Even without her constant mask, she didn't look like the face of the revolution. She looked like some angellic child that had wandered into base, all curling blonde hair and pouty lips and blue eyes. But in those eyes was fire, anger, bitter hatred.
I watched the new recruits and her slip, unnoticed, into the indescreet gray building that was our headquarters. They would begin training immediately, no need to check for traitors. Aia did not believe in thoughtless, uncontrolled riots in the street. She wanted force, but needed precision--she told me, once, that she didn't want to throw a rock at the Capitol's head, but shoot a bullet.
For the most part, I agreed. But she also didn't believe in riots at all, or at least she didn't show it. She sent in one or two at a time--spies, assassins--trying to take care of one person at a time. Last month, she had killed three officials with this method, but it was obvious they were catching on. I had told her many times that, in some situations, we needed force more than precision. She hadn't spoken to me for a week.

UGHHHHH I HATE IT. AND IT'S NOT BELIEVABLE AND UGHHHHHHH. Oh, but besides my obsession with writing stories about revolution, I currently have the kitchen and the bathroom DONE. Now all I have left is the living room. Ughhhhh.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?

I totally never told you guys about Wednesday!
I totally went to Penny Packer Park with Kim and Silver, which was awesome. We ate food, climbed things, crossed streams, and got muddy (basically, it was awesome). And Jake ran through a puddle. And then we all went to Silver's house!
AND THEN.......Silver and Kim thought it would be funny to e-mail Basil. Yes. E-mail Basil. On my account. Can you guess what the e-mail said?
i found your new email... i hacked kims facebook and found it... heeheehee...
I really hate them sometimes.
AND THEN they e-mailed him on KIM'S account, asking him not to delete her cuz she changed her password so I can't hack into it anymore. And that I'm bothersome.
So, when I got home, I sent him a message on Facebook:
If you got an e-mail from me, it wasn't me. It was Silver and Kim, whose sole purpose in life is to annoy me. So, I really am not some psychotic stalker. Kay?
Yup. He has yet to respond to either. I can imagine his line of thinking: he goes on Facebook, sees my message (assuming he doesn't delete it as soon as he sees my name) and thinks ".....wut." and then "yeah, strawberry, you kinda are a psychotic stalker. kay?"...then, out of curiosity, he looks at the e-mail and thinks "WTF THAT CRAZY PSYCHO!" and then he remembers my message and probably thinks I lied and actually did hack into Kim's account to steal his e-mail.

So, remember what happened a year ago? Do you? I remember...
The breezeway was pretty much deserted, a random sixth-grade straggler and me. I had almost forgotten what day it didn't really matter...
Then a voice. I thought I heard my name, but I must've been wrong, so I kept walking. Then a tap on my shoulder...I turned.
It was him. Or, more appropiate to my thinking at the time: OHMYGODIT'SHIMIT'SHIMHOLYSHITHE'STALKINGTOMEOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!!!1!
He gestured for me to follow him, and I did, pretty much mindless and numb with shock. The sound of my beating heart literally drowned out everything else, as corny as that may sound. He started talking, but too quickly for me to hear...something about Hallie telling him to do something...and then, kind of rushed, "Will you go out with me?"
By this point my brain was in overdrive. I literally was not think at all. I was too shocked. The only word I could muster was a too-loud, hissy "What?"
"Will you go out with me?"
No. There was no mistake. Before I could think, before I could demand what the hell he was doing ("DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOU'RE FUNNY, YOU PEICE OF SHIT?!?!?!"), I blurted out "NO!"
By that time I was in full-on breakdown mode (which happened a lot, in those days...). I must've been shaking from head to toe. I couldn't breathe. A strange mixture of shock, anger, and excitement seized me...I wonder what my face looked like. I wonder what his looked like. For the life of me, I can't remember.
Then, out of nowhere, three girls appeared. Two of them, Gabby and Genesis, started yelling at him...completely ignorant of the entire situation....and Kylie, she squealed like a little girl, as if he was serious. And me? I was still numb with shock. Somewhere, as an answer to some question I forget, I snarled, "It's April Fool's Day." What more explanation did I need? What I needed was to get out. I needed to get away from him. I started barreling down the hall, leaving him behind (at which point I was extremely glad of how much faster I walk then other run would have been somewhat embarrassing.) Somehow, Gabby and Genesis caught up to me, and started cursing him out, entirely unaware of how close I was to imploding.
I guess what happened after that isn't important. I reached my little circle of friends, all waiting outside the gym to be let in, and started hyperventilating, unable to get a word out, afraid to with other people so near. And then he passed, just moment after I did, not looking at me, just staring ahead to where he was supposed to go. And then, when we were inside the locker room, I told them what happened...

I no longer believe in April Fool's Day.