Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
masking the inner scream,
the burn right before the bomb
that blows up everything.
The sympathetic friend
who you don't know is on your side;
the one you can't bear to lose
but you're losing all the time.
The tears clawing through your eyes
after the confession is told;
the heart, wrenched open, speaks,
but not as loud as it should.
The secret that reveals
everything you hid,
but there's nobody to hear
anything you said.
The tremors, the shivers,
that tell you that you're weak,
when really you have nothing left;
it's companionship you seek.
The sneering, smirking enemy
who feeds off all your pain,
and though you won't admit it,
puts your life to shame.
I think I'm drowning, asphyxiated. I've gotta break this spell that you've created. You're something beautiful, a contradiction.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
You might run into an old friend who can set you up in a big way, or you could just catch a little break at work or school. Expect a big stroke of good luck that could come in almost any form.
When you daydream about a current crush do you flash forward through time imagining your perfect life together? While having a rich fantasy life is healthy, thinking too much about all possible futures as a couple could leave you frustrated with the present. Stick to reality for now.
Damn. That's really all I have to blog about.
grophland.com GO THERE. Friend me. I'm Strawberry.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Dream it, live it, love it! Why wait to get something started? The stars are smiling on you now. Get online, get out and about, meet different people and embrace familiar ones. Happy new you!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
I'll be one tough act to follow. I'll be one tough act to follow. Here today, gone tomorrow. But you never walked a thousand miles.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
“Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.” – Dag Hammarskjold
I love these quotes.
Drat, I was supposed to save some rice for Mom...X(
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
“Some things you do because you want to. Some things you do because of the needs of others in your family.”
It was blazing hot and my head itched like mad, but I dared not complain about something so trivial, because it was just so stupid.
After all, I was also starving. I had no home and my family, except for my older brother Tief and younger brother Jaeten, was dead. We were being hunted for no reason and could die at any minute, or be bound and dragged to an imprisonment facility. Jaeten was ill with an unknown disease, probably the common cold, but who knew? And yet I was worried about my scalp itching.
Tief stopped suddenly, and I almost crashed into him. Jaeten bumped into me. He mouthed a ‘sorry’ and looked at our wonderful, wonderful twenty-year-old brother, a.k.a. our savior.
He was scanning the horizon, which was stabbed with the remains of long burned-out hotels. I knew what he was thinking. The remains of civilization could mean food, but it could also mean Rounders. And bombs. And nets and traps. It was dangerous being out in the open, though, too. I was sure we stood out against the blackened earth, with our charred-and-ripped-but-pale clothing. We could always go around the decades-old hotels, or turn back, but we all knew it was more likely that there would be food nearer to buildings, because if the framework survived than maybe some supplies did too.
Tief signaled for us to keep moving, and we followed silently. I saw Jaeten looking at our older brother with wonder in his eyes…like he always did. Jaeten idolized Tief, and it wasn’t just because he had no one else to idolize. Without our wise-beyond-his-years brother, we’d very likely be dead. He took care of us after our parents died. He protected us from the soldiers and then the Rounders and stole us food. If he hadn’t managed to get us out of Tampa in time, we’d very likely be dead with the rest of the people trapped in the city.
The thought of all those thousands of people, dead within a few seconds, made my heart sting. President Patterson Darsely might’ve destroyed all the nuclear bombs before England dropped those on us, but regular bombs could kill just as easily, and they most certainly had.
World War 111 killed most of my family, and then the civil war that erupted afterwards killed the rest of it. We were all we had left. I was six when World War 111 ended, eleven when Darsely stamped out the armies set against him and declared the half of the United States that was left to him (which was a little bigger than the original thirteen colonies and included Florida) a united land he named Enta.
The southern got the worst of it, then the western states. The land above New Jersey, however, was the least destroyed, and that’s were Darsely put all the rich people that had survived, like former presidents and celebrities that got lucky and lawyers and everyone who meant something that were still alive. He turned most of the regular folk that survived into an elite fighting force, which certainly gave him an edge when ending the civil war.
Then he had to go and call the rest of us ‘rebels’. Hundreds upon thousands were caught by the Rounders, brought to the imprisonment facilities, tortured, and eventually killed. There was no mercy and no sense. These people were from all around the former United States, not just Enta, but he killed them all the same. There might’ve been a couple hundred rebels who escaped, including me and my brothers.
The Rounders were still there, though. So were the bombs. There was still danger.
“Nala. Do you see that building over there, on the right?” Jaeten’s eyes tightened and he bit his lip, obviously upset that Tief had addressed only me. Ignoring Jaeten’s jealousy, I followed Tief’s pointing finger and saw what he meant. The building was split in half, the upper portion just a skeleton, but the bottom levels were a thick black mass, which suggested something survived within.
I frowned. “It’s probably been cleaned out. It’s kind of hard to miss.”
He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, clearly amused. “You’re absolutely right. But you know that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t check.”
I shrugged off his obvious attempted chance-for-learning moment, since I had heard the same thing many times before. He chuckled softly, so softly in fact that I wasn’t sure if I was meant to hear it.
Jaeten coughed. “It could be booby-trapped.”
Tief nodded, clearly not planning on giving out lessons to our ten-year-old brother. “That’s true of most building.” My little brother looked crushed.
I had to defend him. Tief was being unnecessarily mean. “It’s true that most buildings will be cleaned out already too. You didn’t say anything about that.”
Our leader sighed heavily. He wasn’t going to start arguing, I could tell. Jaeten shot me a thankful look, though, so I didn’t care that our big brother chose to ignore me.
Tief suddenly picked up his pace as he squinted into the distance. “Do you see that?”
I tried to follow his gaze, but saw nothing. We were still very far away from the cluster of hotels. “What?”
He shook his head but didn’t slow down. “I thought I saw something move. A person.”
I swallowed. From Tampa to wherever we where now, probably somewhere in Georgia, we had not met a single person. At least, not one worth getting acquainted with. One young boy had tried to steal our scanty supplies one night, but Tief caught him. I doubted that boy would ever steal again.
“It could be a Rounder,” I warned in a hushed voice. “You don’t know. They have all sorts of tricks up their sleeves. They could be trying to lull us into a false sense of security—”
Tief shook his head, barely paying attention to me, which I imagined gave Jaeten a gratified feeling. “I don’t think it’s a Rounder. They wouldn’t lower themselves to waving their arms to get someone’s attention just to catch them—”
“I don’t even see what you’re talking about,” I interrupted, but as soon as I finished saying it, I did. In the far distance, barely visible since she/he was wearing dark clothes, a figure was waving their arms around madly, obviously trying to get our attention.
Maybe to warn us away.
I doubted Tief would listen to that argument, though. He tried to hide it, but I could tell; he was weary of the same company day in and day out. He longed for more people. He longed for something new to distract him. I sympathized. I imagined it must grow tedious, after awhile, to spend years with no one to talk to but your two younger siblings.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I wouldn't be in a place per se, but more of a state of mind. Everything I wrote would come easily and be beautiful and entrancing. The blockage on my Pool of Inspiration would be gone.
I traced the details of my house on the window; the huge disproportionate roof, the oblong porch that stuck out from one side, the tiny round windows in the top floor. It looked so hollow and empty. Because of its abnormal shape, it wasn’t quick to sell, and Mom was in a hurry. My home for fifteen years was to be demolished the coming Saturday.
The drive to our new house was going to take fourteen hours, crossing through Canada, but Mom wouldn’t just buy plane tickets. She said it would take too long. She, unlike me, wanted to get out of Rockford, Michigan as soon as possible. She was still reeling from the divorce and desperate to escape Dad, who, by an ill twist of fate, was her promoted to her boss a day after divorcing her. Three days after everything became final, she started packing our bags.
I asked her where we were moving. She stopped throwing things in a bag, stood up, and stared at me till I left. At dinner that night, she announced we were finally going to make use of the old house her uncle had left her in his will.
“I thought you said it was too old to be an actual house,” I say, bored. She will probably change her mind by tomorrow. There’s no way we’re moving to Vermont.
Mom shoots me a sharp look. “Mia, I want the utmost cooperation from you. I’m going to busy with arrangements and I need you to watch over Jeffery.”
I look out the window, unafraid. “Why would we move to another cold state? Why not Florida?”
She doesn’t answer. She shakes her head and resumes eating dinner. She never lasts in any sort of discussion. She’s too weak. She’ll change her mind.
Mom had been serious about moving to Vermont. She could’ve gotten another job, but no, we had to move out of the state. I stared bitterly out the window, at my home. It would be gone forever in four days. My childhood, gone in four days.
Jeffery whined from the middle row, his round blue eyes confused.
“’Sokay, Jeffy,” I whispered. Mom must’ve heard me, but she didn’t say anything. She was too defeated to say anything to me. If it came to a fight, which it surely would, I would destroy her.
Strangely, after she had declared we were moving, we stopped fighting. I avoided her because I was furious; she avoided me because she was exhausted. It had been a strangely calm, yet tense, week.
Jeffery continued to whine.
“Throw him a toy, will you, Mia?” She didn’t look at me as she said it. Maybe she was worried our eyes would ignite the screaming match.
Jeffery’s tiny blue elephant, the only toy not in a suitcase somewhere, was shoved into the stuffed glove apartment at last minute, when Mom had realized he had nothing to play with.
He grabbed it as soon as he saw it, and immediately started chewing one of the soft blue ears. Mom saw it in the rearview mirror and sighed.
My home disappeared from sight too soon. I knew I’d never see it again, so I stared at it as long as I could, trying to hold the memory of it in my head. I looked for my bedroom window, but it didn’t come into view till we were turning the corner.
My breath caught in my throat. There was someone standing in the window. Their face peered out at me, cold as stone, with blood red lips and hollow cheeks, and eyes the color of the midnight sky.
It was not peaceful, even in sleep. It’s heavy back rumbled as it breathed like an earthquake, its teeth shivered with every breath. I had been taught to fear the teeth…and respect them.
Awaking the beast would mean death. I had to remember that.
Slowly I moved. Just a tiny bit, stopping suddenly in case it showed signs of waking up. The beast remained sleeping. Setting aside my relief, I completed the step closer to its massive hulking body.
A painful, horribly sharp noise burst over head of me. I didn’t have to look to know it was that of the colorful Gayana Bird, the loudest in the forest. In my mind, I saw the bright plumage, a rainbow of colors, always different…the sharp, golden brown beak and talons…the shining white eyes that never blinked.
The monster stirred, very gently, and I froze.
A grumbling sound, like a volcano, erupted from it, shaking the earth with its force. I refused to breathe, in case it would give away my position. I had to complete my mission…death, if I didn’t.
The grumbling stopped, and the beast was still asleep.
Again, I put aside the overwhelming relief and slowly, carefully, raised the sharp glinting spear over it. So close…I could not fail now.
In that moment, I realized I was alone. If I failed…if I missed the heart…no one could save me. This was my orientation. If I did not learn, I would die. It was simple…it was terrifying.
I closed my eyes…they would betray me if I saw the disgusting scene about to unfold. Whether it would be mine or the beasts, blood was about to spill. My one weakness…gore. One of the many reasons my orientation was so much more deadly than others. I had to overcome my fears, or else I could not survive. Only the strongest survived, and I had to.
My eyes did not give me away…my terror did. As I raised the spear higher, I could not fight back the sharp intake of breath as I thought about the impossible task I had been assigned to.
In that one instant, I saw the monster’s horrible blazing eye, red like fire, staring at me.
No, I thought. I’m not going down without a fight. Not like this.
No longer hesitating, I shoved the spear into its chest, praying I would hit the heart.
The red eyes still stared at me, but the looked not angry. Fear tainted them, not rage. I realized that I was so entranced by it, I had forgotten to close my eyes. But it didn’t matter…all I could see was that burning eye staring at me. I could not feel anything except what I saw in that eye…fear, sadness…loneliness. Time froze. Its eyes went blank.
The wind whistled briefly through the trees and almost seemed to say Thank you.
Monday, July 13, 2009
- Interior decorating and housing/furniture styles.
- Expensive clothes.
- Back-to-school shopping (school supplies, not clothes).
- The Sims 2
- The Xenon.
- Article writing (for the school newspaper).
Okay, so for back-to-school, I'm writing an article on: If it had to be one or the other, should music/art or sports be cut? I should get started on that, but most of it I can't do till school starts. I also started one for the Valentine's Day edition (I know, faaaaaaaar away): Can middle schoolers feel love? Fun, no? I started writing it and so far it's just the deep, corny crap I expected. Yahoo!
By the way, not that it's particularly important, but I believe it's the indivual, not the age group, that feels love, and it's a different love for every person.
[Hit the Floor--Linkin Park]
I would, of course, be referring to romantic love. But hey, if you can love your friends and family, can't you love someone as a boyfriend/girlfriend? I think most people would say no because our age throws the term around too much and doesn't realize what it really means. But really, does anyone know what love is?
So, I would update you on my recent going-ons, but there have been none.
I'm going to go browse the Charlotte Russe website for back-to-school ideas.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
This is a little-known fact, but I love high-end clothes. I love clothes that you see and think "I could never wear that. Only movie stars wear that." Some of my favorite stores include Express, Bebe, Charlotte Russe, BCBGMAXAZRIA, Armani Exchange, Juicy Couture, and Marshall Rousso, which I secretly love despite the fact that they're all for twenty-three-year-olds. The clothes reek fashion, even the ones from Juicy Couture and Marshall Rousso (I never actually went into these stores, but I absolutely adored the clothes on the mannequins in the window).
- I'm not 23, and thus, I don't have a 23-year-old's body.
- If I wore these clothes to school, I'd still be stared at, but for a much different reason.
Ah, the horrible suckishness that there are no high-fashion clothes for eigth graders.
http://www.express.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=19908&parentCategoryId=2&categoryId=444&subCategoryId=470 Damn, it won't let me get a picture. Anyway, this shirt is soooooo hot, and the belt just completes it. I'm not sure if it would be allowed in school, because of the sleeves and the sheerness (even with a tank underneath).
http://www.express.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=21156&parentCategoryId=2&categoryId=444&subCategoryId=470 I absolutely adore this neckline, and I wish I knew what it was called. The shirt is just so glamorous, but not flashy. I think the sleeves would be okay in school.
http://www.express.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=20040&parentCategoryId=2&categoryId=444&subCategoryId=456 This outfit is just incredibly classy and fashionable. With tights (no) or dark skinny jeans (yes) like the description says, it would be perfect.
http://www.express.com/catalog/ensemble.jsp?ensembleId=508&parentCategoryId=2&categoryId=4&subCategoryId=440 This entire outfit flows perfectly together. I love the stripes on the shirt and the silver accesories just add something. The only problem is the top of the shirt.
http://www.bebe.com/bebe-Paint-Splattered-Tank-Dress/dp/B001UAA4WI?ie=UTF8&asinSearchPageIndex=9&pf_rd_r=1Y0BTYDG9YHA4K8GYD8N&navAsinList=B001UNM3XS%2CB001OPYKKQ%2CB00226EDKI%2CB001UNNQ52%2CB002APQ6Y2%2CB001R4NHHQ%2CB00243QT88%2CB002AL7YF6%2CB0024QR47U%2CB001UAA4WI%2CB0022685ES%2CB001UX1NNY%2CB0027DK2EC%2CB002268FPM%2CB001VROPT8%2CB001UX3QL6%2CB0024QP6KM%2CB0027QFWB2%2CB00243OQO2%2CB002ALDF4K&node=675941011&pf_rd_s=search-results&field_browse=675941011&searchSize=20&navAsinListIndex=0&pf_rd_t=101&field_availability=0&id=bebe%20Paint%20Splattered%20Tank%20Dress&searchBinNameList=null&store=core&pf_rd_p=482133391&ref=search_results_10&searchNodeID=675941011&pf_rd_i=675941011&field_launch-date=-1y&searchRank=-custom-rank&searchPage=1&pf_rd_m=A2FMOXN01TSNYY Holy shit, this is hot. Unfortunately, so is the rest of the clothes in bebe. They're all very sexy, no?
http://www.charlotterusse.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3676600 Damn. I could wear this.
http://www.charlotterusse.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3676578 I love this neckline, but seriously, no thirteen-year-old could either pull it off or wear it without controversy.
http://www.charlotterusse.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3632337 Dude! Tell me one reason I couldn't wear this to school!
http://www.charlotterusse.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3632236 Good God. I love Charlotte Rousse. There are so many more, but I don't want to waste space, considering how long this entry is gonna be anyway.
http://www.bcbg.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3611535&cp=2769162.2840697&page=3&parentPage=family This. Dress. Is. So. Freaking. Hot.
http://www.armaniexchange.com/product/womens/knit+tops/sequined+grecian+top.do?asc=&sortby=&size=&imageName=2333.10964.6828.042&sizeName= God, I love this store. If the link doesn't work, add the =.
http://www.armaniexchange.com/product/womens/collection/casual/marled+wrap+cardigan.do?asc=&sortby=&size=&imageName=2411.10601.6842.013&sizeName= Holy crap! This is so perfect! I can't even get over how perfect it is!
http://www.armaniexchange.com/product/womens/collection/sophisticated/gold+trim+pencil+skirt.do?asc=&sortby=&size=&imageName=2052.10071.7255.423&sizeName= There is nothing I love quite so much as pencil skirts.
http://www.juicycouture.com/shoponline/women/apparel/dresses/prodT23KJ I don't see how anyone, anywhere, would ever have the oppurtunity to wear this, but still. Wow.
And I couldn't find anything from Marshall Rousso, though they looked so incredible at Atlantic City. Oh wellz. Wow, I have expensive taste. I wish I was 23 and could wear this stuff. Oh well. It's Charlotte Russe for me. What are your favorite stores?
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
It's also my one-hundredth post! Oh, I feel so special!
Celebrate with me! C'mon, don't be shy! RAISE THE ROOF!!!!!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
It's a week till school starts and a week after her dad cheated on her mom, resulting in a disastrous and rushed divorce. It's not that Mia cares about that...but when her ex-dad gets promoted and becomes her mom's new boss, her mom can't take anymore. That night she announces they're moving to a house her uncle left her in his will.
Two days later, her mom is driving Mia and her baby brother, Jeffery, fourteen hours to the small town of Berkshire, Vermont. Almost immediately, Jeffery starts some strange behaviour, and Mia is stuck with no friends for the entire summer. To make matters worse, her mom is never around anymore, almost as if she's disappeared.
This is not a typical teen-adjustment story. Now it gets ugly...
After two weeks of eerie silence, Jeffery erupts into tears on the kitchen counter. Mia rushes in. Standing over her brother, eyes gaunt and cheeks hollow, is the cursed ghost named Isaiah...
Terrified, Mia slowly starts to reach for a knife, but instead comes face to face with the grotesque demon Lidra. She is sure she's going to die when Isaiah leaps in front of her and vanquishes the demon back to the forbidden attic.
Isaiah explains that he was cursed to remain on Earth for eternity, denied his access to heaven. He wandered around for centuries before discovered the murderous spirits and demons that dwell in this house. He soon devoted his life (death?) to protecting the innocents that lived in the haunted house.
He also has a warning...Lidra and the other monsters are after Mia and Jeffery. They've waited centuries for a young, susceptible body to use as a passage away from the house and back to Earth. Mia and her brother and the perfect hosts for the demons to wreak their havoc. However, Mia's spirit cannot dwell in the body still...she must be killed.
Isaiah quickly becomes Mia's sole friend, protecting her and Jeffery from the demons that want her dead.
It is day-to-day terror for Mia, until her stepsister Lizzy comes to visit for the summer. Suddenly, all the ghosts disappear, including Isaiah. At first, Mia is relieved. Aside from missing Isaiah, she and her brother are finally safe. Even if Lizzy is cruel and she officially has no friends...
Oh, but it's not over yet. Just wait and see what happens next...
Soon, however, Mia begins to suspect something more sinister with the disappearance of the ghosts. Her mom stops leaving voicemails and stops leaving her shoes at the door...all traces of her disappear. Mia's fears are confirmed when she catches Lizzy hanging over Jeffery's crib, knife in hand...
Suddenly it's again a fight to stay alive, and this time, Isaiah cannot save her.