I really should've blogged, but damn, I'm tired. I have too much homework and I'm tired and it's not like anything of note has happened, anyway...The only homework I have today is in art, which is to draw a hand, which will take me about five seconds. Ten, if I try to make it extra-good. I wanted to work more on my "symbolic self-portrait" (it's better you don't ask) but, you know, I have a headache and I'm SO TIRED I might actually fall asleep right here. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but still...the school day is too long and there's too much work AND I have to stay after tomorrow, because of Model UN. The meetings don't last very long so Kimber and I have to hang around for an hour or so, and then on the late bus they literally scream the ENTIRE TIME, which is an HOUR. So...yeah. I really have nothing else to say. ENJOY YOUR PARAGRAPH, FRIENDS.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Been awhile since I've seen her around, you know? My favorite anonymous antagonistic commenter. Today (or yesterday) she posed an interesting question: why do I write? I'm not really sure why she would need to know this, but hell, here we go:
This question would take a long time to answer completely, because in all honesty I don't know why I write, except for maybe the instant gratification I get when people tell me it's good. A vain reason, but a reason all the same. Like many other desperate, needy people in the world, I feel the need to be constantly complimented and placated, lest I fall into the self-deprecating tailspin of an unchecked inferiority complex and overall insecurity. Writing, being one of the few things I'm actually good at, is something I'm complimented on regularly; whether I think it's good or not, when people like my work I still feel like it's worth doing.
But that's a bad reason, and I guess I shouldn't have started with it. A better reason would be the fact that I'm completely f*cking insane, and in the back of my head there's these things that fly around like little dragons or something, flying too fast for me to see even though I know they're there. But sometimes, they slow down just enough that I can grab one in my [mental] hand, and know what they are and put them to words. Putting things into words is a big issue for me, as you know. It's like my thoughts are giant, vague, empty clouds of presence, and I know what they feel like and what they look like but when I try to describe them in ways that other peope could understand, I just come up a blank. I know what they are to the finest fibre of their being, but when I pick up a pen or begin to type they just disaporate.
That word I just used right there, 'disaporate' is not a word. It should be, though. I'm pretty sure there's an actual word that means the same thing that I can never remember, but regardless, it's pretty much a cross between bursting into a million tiny peices in a little poof, vanishing, kind of fogging out in a haze, and collapsing. There's not a word like that (that I know of), so I use a made-up word to describe it. That's pretty much how it is with these cloud-thoughts; there aren't words for them. Why I write is probably one of these cloud-thoughts.
But back to the dragons. When I catch one, hold it in my [mental] hand, grasp it's meaning and it's purpose, I can't just let it go. I have a duty to tell the story, to say what I mean to say, to give these characters life. If I let them all go, they'd all fill my head till there wasn't enough room and the entire thing would just burst out into nothing. And then my temper (which is about a 6) would shoot up to a 10, and my crazy level (which is about a 12) would shoot up to a 80,000,000,000, and I'd want so desperately to do nothing else but write that I'd collapse into a stinky ball of tears and snot and start gorging myself on ice cream and scribble sloppy-faced people in my notebook till my hand started bleeding and fell off and then I died.
Of course, all this is also the reason why I can never seem to write what I really meant to say, which has somewhere around the same effect.
But blaming it on my own personal crazy isn't really a good answer, either. To put it in a different way, I write so all these negative things inside my head don't eat away at me. I write to distract myself from the things I wish I could change so desperately it hurts. I'm always the main character; I'll write so the guy of my dreams actually does fall in love with me, or I make all the right decisions, or I'm ridiculously pretty, or I have some exciting and daring and suspenseful life that I could never have in real life. I do that without writing, too; writing it out just stemmed from my original use of make-believe, which did the exact same thing. I always include the people I know or wish I knew in my stories, whether sub-consciously or not; I always include someone I wish I was.
I guess that wasn't much less crazy. If this makes it any less confusing: when I was little and alone all the time, I acted out stories with myself or with Barbie dolls. Around 10 years old I realized I could write them, and write them well.
That brings me to what I think is my final reason: I love words. I adore words. I'm obsessed with words. I'm not a passionate person--wait, no I am. What I mean is, I don't get passionate about many things. I'm not really into charities or sports or anything. But words--shaping them, molding them, making them into something beautiful and striking and poetic and powerful--I live to do that. I love the English language; I love the things it can say, even when there aren't words. I love it when words twist and shout in your head, like real living things, like something unbreakable and beautiful that only some people can ever be a part of, and I love seeing this all in front of me and knowing that, even if I don't completely understand it, I at least have an idea.
I've always seen writing as a kind of art form; something that requires structure and shape as well as beauty and passion, but because it's purely on a mental level also takes something extra. It's like sculpting, except instead of working with stone you're working with emotions.
Bah, this was longer than I wanted, but anyway, here you go. This is, in the best way I can describe it, why I write. In some ways it's kind of too deep and melodramatic for the real reason I write, but hell, it's close enough. Did I answer your question, Nora? HAVE I APPEASED? It take me over an hour to write; it damn sure better have.
This is a simurgh, my new favorite thing.
EDIT: Something I forgot to mention...no, I do not think I'm the best writer ever, so don't even think it. I actually think I'm pretty bad, compared to some writers. So shush, I'm not that conceited.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
So, question of the day: if there really are aliens out there, and they really do want to control your brain, who's to say tin foil would ever stop them? I mean, I'm an alien, and tin foil sure doesn't keep me from slowly rotting you're brains from the inside out.
Lol jk, I don't need to be an alien to rot your brains from the inside out :D In fact I'm doing it right now...but...just...keep...reading...
And furthermore, were there aliens who wanted to control people's brains, why on Earth (I feel like that should be a pun) would they want to control some unwashed hillbilly/old lady's brain? You'd think they'd go after the President, or something.
Second question of the day: when you read my title, did you think it was serious? Haha.
I just cleaned up some water that spilled on the desk, and underneath it was like, white. In all other places the desk is a blotchy brownish color. Haha, filth.
So, I think I've discovered why my blog isn't super-popular, after an extensive study comparing my blog to other blogs (okay, no, I'm just making everything up as I go along.) Here's what I've gathered:
- My background IS white, which is step one, but the layout isn't customized or anything. That's mostly because I know nothing about HTML and even if I wanted to, couldn't design my own. But people seem to like blogs with original templates better so I guess I have to figure it out, huh?
- I don't really talk about things "in general." This isn't a huge one, because there are a lot of really popular bloggers who talk about their own lives, but it always seems the ones that talk about broad, interesting topics are the most popular. Of course, a lot of people dismiss my opinions anyway because I'm fourteen, but that's not so much on Blogger...
- My font is too small. I think my font is a perfect size, and frankly, I can't seem to get the font a large, easy-to-read size without it seeming sloppy. Have I ever mentioned that I really hate large font? I do. With a passion. But other people seem to like larger font. Which brings me to my next point.
- The blog itself seems small. Almost cluttered, plus the smallish font, plus the fact that I don't have many entries posted up all the time. I think I might need to change that. Oh, and my entries aren't very long. That doesn't help.
- I don't comment on other people's blogs that much...heh. I mean, I try to comment on the people I already know, but new people? Not so much. Maybe I just have high standards, haha. Or I'm shy. Or I'm pretty bad at commenting in general. Whatever.
Now I'm off to revamp mah blog! Hurrah!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
That's what I'd name my country, if anyone was wondering. Better than 'Kimistan' (haha sorry Kim.)
Model UN began today! Except, lo and behold, the actual meeting was only twenty minutes long. That left us another hour or so before the buses came. Damn. Well, we finished our homework and I (kinda) finished my fallen-angel drawing, and that was that. The bus ride was an hour long. Haha, sorry, I don't have much else to say on school. I'm glad it's almost Friday.
A while ago I played with the idea of writing a short story for everyone I knew. The problem, of course, was that I couldn't think of the really perfect story for everyone. But now I think I'm going to tackle that, because, you know, I only write stories for myself, and that doesn't seem really conducive. To what, I don't know, but it doesn't.
Now I have nothing else to say, and I will leave you.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Only, like, three people commented on my last entry, and one of them was my mom, and I told Sharicus to, so that leaves Silver, who didn't shower me in glowing praise (I need it or I shrivel into a ball and die.) But Silver never does that, so whatever. In case you did read and just didn't comment, I changed Emma's last name to 'Allore'. Fun times.
Today in the middle of World Civ, there was a fire alarm. A real fire alarm. Like, there was an actual fire. So we all go outside for like a half hour, and it's freaking hot, and when we finally got inside and the bell rang we thought we were supposed to go to Period 7, except my Period 7 is on the other side of the school from my Period 6, and I walked all the way down there only to discover we were still supposed to be in Period 6. Guh. So I finally get back there, and of course my group project thingy has to present then, when I'm all sweaty and unrehearsed and it sucked. Really. It sucked.
Oh, and today was Picture Day, which is capitalized for some strange reason. Luckily that was in Period 3, so I wasn't all sweaty and gross. That's always a good thing. Can't wait to see how those turned out. But I did get to hang out with Kimber and Shoobers for an entire period, so woo :) And I had a cookie/curly fries for lunch!
Oh and when we finally switched classes after the fire drill, I went all the way down to the art room only to discover we had to go to the auditorium, because APPARENTLY there was still a fire hazard or something. Wut. But the auditorium was air conditioned :D And art was boring. As. Hell.
Oh and when we finally switched classes after the fire drill, I went all the way down to the art room only to discover we had to go to the auditorium, because APPARENTLY there was still a fire hazard or something. Wut. But the auditorium was air conditioned :D And art was boring. As. Hell.
On the science test right after, I only left TWO of the questions blank :D Go me!
I have nothing else to say. I like making PowerPoints. Goodbye.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I'm kind of getting tired of rewriting this story, but since I'm adding at least a month, I don't really think I have a choice.
Chapter One- Emma
I was the bane of Woodrow James High School.
In lovely Woodrow Heights, the breeding grounds of the entitled, it was not difficult. I did not skip school to get my hair done. I did not play sports, I was not a Young Einstein or Politician, and my clothes were not hand-stitched from fine Italian silk. They were from Hot Topic, the antithesis of everything Woodrow James students were about.
They whispered about me in the halls. I revelled in it. I basked in their silent, unadulterated hatred; in all honesty I enjoyed the sense of power it gave me. Not that it was hard to illicit a reaction from these people, quite the contrary; however, given the circumstances, I felt especially empowered. If they knew the real reason I was there--what I really was, and why--I could not imagine they'd hate me any less.
If they knew what I was, they might be terrified. Or perhaps they'd want to be me; who could tell with these people?
To be honest, the tedium of high school was getting to me. Not because I had attended many times before--if I bothered to count, it might have been around three times I'd ever set foot in a school. I had been privately tutored by the finest teachers in the world, perhaps more fine for the experience they had then for any aptitude in teaching. The teachers here were inferior in every way; how old were they? Forty, maybe fifty? They were children. I could not learn from children.
Of course, I was not here to learn.
The English teacher's voice broke me from my reverie; he was a bald, tired man around fifty. I imagined that, no matter where one could be, teachers would be the same--dejected and pathetic, knowing what they had once considered their life's work meant nothing to the sleepy drones that passed through their class. The allure of working in an extremely wealthy district had worn off for this man; he was exhausted. In some ways, I could relate.
"Mr. Vazques, have you heard a word I've said?" He slapped his fancy aluminum pointer onto his desk; the sound reverberated throughout the room. The class, a measly fourteen people, stared at me. Other people would've burned red at this point; I stared at him with icy coldness.
A silence ensued. The teacher was feeling daring, and met his own watery eyes to my cool green ones. It couldn't last long. They were all terrified of me, these scuttling, pathetic insects; so convinced of their own importance, their superiority--
The door opened behind us with a bang, and all eyes--including mine, I am ashamed to say--turned back there. And there was a girl, somewhat small in stature, thin and lithe in a way--a girl, with auburn-brown hair that fell past her shoulders in a single warm wave--a girl, with the soft hazel eyes and long, dark lashes of a young deer--a girl, who was in every way warm, in every way sweet and pretty and almost childlike with the nervous smile upon her rose-pink lips.
If I had known--if I had known, in that instant I first saw her--if I had known, I would have walked out the classroom and out of the school without a second thought. As it was, I turned back in my seat, ashamed of falling victim to the trivial curiosities of this lower class of human.
Her voice echoed from behind me, reminiscent of early spring; her voice was quiet, unusual for this school. "Um...I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be here."
The teacher smiled with warmth I didn't know he was capable of. Was it a knee-jerk reaction, around this girl? "You must be the new student. Emma Dupont, is that right? Come in Miss Dupont, find an empty seat somewhere."
Dupont...perhaps she was French. Almost immediately she sat down beside me--the only seat available, I suddenly realized--and smiled in that tentative way one smiles at someone they don't know but might like to. I stared straight ahead, focusing for once on the teacher instead of my own thoughts. The disappointment that I did not smile back emanated off of her in waves.
Emma Dupont. If only I'd known.
Ta-da. I know you love it. You don't have to tell. No, actually tell me. I'm a shameless attention whore, after all :D
I could tell you about my day but that would involve more writing.
Monday, September 20, 2010
[The Suburbs--Arcade Fire]
I guess I should talk about school, but really the thing on my mind now is Lolo. Or, The Traitor Formally Known as Lolo. Okay, so maybe 'traitor' is too strong.
Here's how it's been: she's all cold and distant, I'm confused, so I ask Nat (who I'm also not talking to much, but that's irrelevant) if she hates me or something. Nat says: honestly I don't think she likes you very much, but she doesn't hate you. Well, that's good. She doesn't HATE me. So I ask her if she knows why, and she thinks that's something I should talk to Lolo about, which is very typical of her. Anyway. So now I'm at a crossroads: behold, my opinion and my dad's opinion.
My dad's opinion: Don't engage and let her respond when she wants to. If she doesn't then you'll know it wasn't worth it anyway. Trying to talk to her will just let her know she hurt you and she has power over you. Besides, deep down you just want to talk to her because you feel there's a problem with you that you need to remedy.
My opinion: It's not that; I just hate not finishing something. I need closure. I don't care one way or the other if she wants to keep this up, but I need to know what the problem was. If I wait a while and she doesn't do anything, then not only will I be more hurt than I was before, but it will be too late to confront her.
So, that's that. Kind of. I don't remember the whole conversation, but that's basically it. My guess is that, during the summer when she never saw me, she thought about it and realized what a psycho annoying bitch I am...or something. Or it started back in eighth grade and I just never caught on. I'm just really frustrated by this whole thing. Lolo was just nice to have around. I genuinely liked her. And now it's over, and that's fine, but I hate just leaving it open-ended until it fades into some ugly scar. Although it might be worse if I actually start a conversation...ugh. Advice. Please.
[Lazy Eye--Silversun Pickups]
[Second Chance--Liam Finn]
In other news, I made my first PowerPoint of the season, Leo has a fish named Leo, I have a shitload of vocab for some reason, and slamming doors makes me feel better. Oh, and I feel like I'm not acclompishing anything, which is true. Plus I caught mention of Model UN on the announcements this morning, but I didn't hear exactly what it said and besides, Kim couldn't stay after. Oh well. I'll figure it out. If worse comes to worse, I'll miss the first meeting.
One last thought: The Suburbs by Arcade Fire has to have some of the best lyrics I've ever heard. I mean, seriously, listen to this:
So can you understand
Why I want a daughter while I'm still young?I wanna hold her hand,
And show her some beauty
Before this damage is done.
But if it's too much to ask, it's too much to ask
Then send me a son.
Completely perfect. I love this song so much.
NOW HELP ME WITH MY PROBLEM! D:
Sunday, September 19, 2010
So, that's the name of my latest story which isn't so much a story as a title with one character. But I'm working on it!
I still need to start writing that thing down. Yeah...
That's pretty much it.
Kitty wonders what's wrong with yer face.
Haha this is a terrible picture, but it's the only one I could find of him staring directly at the camera.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
[Eclipse (All Yours)--Metric]
There's really no reason I haven't blogged, except my mind's been on other things. More important things? Things I should be writing down. Just not on here.
I'm about to get rid of some of my homework (holy noodles I have a lot of it) but I felt like I was leaving you all in the dark...haha. Poor you. You were probably all going into withdrawal because I didn't post for a day. FORGIVE ME. I'M HERE NOW.
[I Turn My Camera On--Spoon]
In case you wondering what's with the random music, I'm listening to an 'Indie Rock Mix' and so far I've bought 6 songs...heh.
So, yesterday, I decided I can't stand to hear my geometry teacher speak. She's so mind-blowingly annoying, it actually kind of blows my mind. Plus she's kind of an idiot. We went over a worksheet in Latin that I pretty much failed, mostly cuz I didn't really read the questions and never translated...luckily, she didn't check :D But still. At lunch, Lolo pretty much ignored me, so I've decided not to bother with her anymore. I mean, seriously, did I do something? Or did she just decide she didn't like me at all, for whatever reason? What the hell, it doesn't even matter, does it? One less person I have to worry about.
In art EVERYONE at our table labbed out except for me and Leo. Leo and I? Whatever. We drew ribbon, and I learned he doesn't like acoustic music. Note to self: find out what political paty he is. It's BOTHERING me.
Finally we get to science, where I pretty much fail a test. No, scratch that: I do fail a test. I ended up leaving about half the answers blank because I had no idea, and completely guessed on the extra credit. Sigh. This was the test: one column, names of elements, with a space for the symbol next to it. Another column, with the symbols and a space for the elements belonging to them next to it. There were somewhere between 30-40 questions in all. There was no way in hell I was passing that test.
I kind of hate Vampire Weekend.
Yeah, so, that's pretty much it. I feel like I should be hanging out with my friends. HEY FRIENDS WANNA HANG OUT. Yeah, they're never on here anyway. I'm bored.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Art was fun. I've discovered the name of the guy who's going to marry Sharicus, which is Jacob. I wonder what his nickname will be! Decisions, decisions. Oh, and I drew a light bulb. Always fun. Oh, and Leo is now my best friend EVER! (Sorry Kim/Shari, I'm replacing you.)
I'm trying to think of something that happened today but I'm pretty much drawing a blank...haha, I swear, I have short-term memory loss or something. Urm...so...I kind of hate Mrs. Uglyskirt. She hasn't worn an ugly skirt for the past week. She's been wearing other ugly clothes. I think she's going to spite me. Plus she interrupts EVERYONE. It's like, dude, if you're going to ask a question, LET PEOPLE ANSWER IT. And she'll give us a problem and act like it's really hard, even though it's not. In the slightest.
Latin was Latiny. I guess. There was a fire drill at the very end so I ended up getting to health before everyone else...but that's irrelevant. Jackface doesn't know how to spell 'ninja.' I'm serious, she spelled it 'ninga' and then Sharicus, who is also bad with these things (haha, sorry Shoobers, you know it's true) spelled it like that on the poster she had to make. It was amusing, haha. I kind of felt bad for Jackface, who seemed a bit down when we all silently acknowledged that it was her that spelled it wrong, but...who doesn't know how to spell 'ninja'???
In English, where Mr. K-haeaeh is obsessed with the proper meaning of 'theme', I worked with Happy to turn a 'subject', which was change, into a 'theme'. In other words, Mr. K-haeaeh is a bit of a jackass. Just because he makes such a big deal over what's a 'theme' and what's not. See, according to him, a theme is a more specific, but not very specific, form of a subject. Wut. Oh, and I don't think he's graded the essays we did on Monday, which is annoying. Very. QUITE.
World Civ is *%&#ing boring. There's really no other way to say it. Mrs. Maniac WON'T. STOP. TALKING.
Art was fun, though. Mrs. Frenchname pretty much let's us do whatever we want, after she casually mentions whatever it is we're supposed to do that day. I pretty much chilled out with Lolo, Shoobers, and Leo (and Jacob!) the whole time, smudging pencilstuff to make it look like a shadow. Then I drew a person. Go people! Haha.
Science was okay. It went by fast. I'm talking more to the girls who sit next to me, Deer1 and Harsh, which is always good, because the alternative is staring silently at the board the entire time. Strawberry remember: social interaction GOOD. DURRR. Now I get a treat and am sent back to my cage.
Anyway. On the way out I met up with Nat and Silver (hi Silver!), so, woo. Heh. ME, HER, AND KIMBER WILL HAVE AN EPIC MOVIE FEST. I WILL MAKE IT SO.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Not. Haha. Maybe it's my charming, witty personality. Maybe it's my open and gregarious nature. No, but really, I just discovered this tab on Blogger called 'Stats', and it's the coolest thing ever, except I'm very unpopular. The most views I've ever had on a single entry? 82, by some weird fluke, and it wasn't even a good entry. The next on the last? 17. I think what it is is that I don't "appeal to the masses" or "talk to people" or anything. Oh well. I KNOW YOU ALL LOVE ME ANYWAY. CUZ I'M SO AWESOME. REVEL IN MY AWESOMENESS, AND I WILL GRANT YOU MY FAVOR.
Haha mayhaps. Funny word. I'm off to REALLY do something meaningful now, or just go on random people's sites and start commenting on how much I loooooooove their blog (heads up: I don't) so they'll follow me for some strange reason.
ATTENTION WHORE FTW.
Wow. I always assumed that when my fellow high-school-aged bloggers claimed they didn't have time to blog, they just were too thorough with their work. I STAND CORRECTED. And it's not just that I was doing school work for a bitchin' long time yesterday, but when I did have time to blog I was just so tired. I didn't want to do anything but sit and watch Glee.
Today I drew mushrooms in art, and drew a terrible picture of Muddy yesterday. Oooh, and at lunch I drew a picture of some chick that I'm actually pretty proud of. Soooo....yeah. There's a guy in our art class who Sharicus is going to fall madly in love with, and vice versa. He's all artsy and stuff, so...I HAVE FORESEEN IT. MY WORD IS LAW. And after she breaks his heart, he'll come crawling to me :D
I can't really think of anything I've done today. I've managed three days without a schedule or a map or something, so yay! Haha, most of the time I just blindly follow people and somehow end up in the right place. It all works out, you know?
Hrm. I remembered a lunch today, but still ended up taking most of Happy's grapes :) Unfortunately, Lavender is still sitting within earshot of me, and the putrid, shrill garbage that shallow, half-brained imbecile spews is enough to make even the happiest of grapes make a reappearance....She's so disgusting it actually blows my mind. Everything about her is offensive and I feel like I'm losing brain cells just by being around her. That psycho-moron actually tried to peer over at my fabulous artwork when I was showing it to Lolo, who was across from her, and I'm like "No bitch!" and I really can't believe anyone could be so stupid. I would have that the hate-vibes coming off of me would make her realize that...oh wait...I hate her, but apparently she's too much of three-year-old to even realize that.
Hmmm. English has been boring. But then, English is always boring. Mr. K-heaeah's voice is SO HIGH for a guy, you know? World Civ was boring too, but then, World Civ is always boring. All Mrs. Maniac does is talk. Talk. And talk. And talk. Oh, and I'm renaming her Mrs. Maniac because her old nickname is hard to remember, and her real name sounds like Magee and Maniac Magee remember? I don't think 'Magee' is how it's spelled but who really gives a damn?
In Health we made groups for some random, vaguely-defined project, which would've been great if it was just Sharicus and Kim and I, but since there are only five girls in the class so we all got grouped together. Kathy is all right, but Jackface--her name is actually Sarah or something but she reminds me of some girl names Jackie--is so...twinkie. No one will know what that word means, forgive me. But she just doesn't fit in with the rest of us. Kathy less so, but definitely not me, Shari, or Kim. I mean, really, she watches Jersey Shore *shudders*
Geometry is so ridiculously easy, albeit long. I managed to get their on time today, unlike science, which I'm pretty sure I'm just always going to be late for. Art, my previous class, is basically on the complete other side of the school. I mean, really? All of my other classes are pretty easy to get to except for art, and then science.
Hahaha, I was just reading old blog entries when people tried to tell me I'm a terrible mean bully-person, and I didn't believe them. But I've changed my mind on some things (namely, that I don't hate certain people, that certain people aren't psychotic b*tches, that I'd be mad about losing certain people, and that certain people aren't terrible.) I still don't think I was being mean. I know when I'm being mean, and when I'm being honest. The people who disagree with me are usually pansies or victims of a sob-story. But whatever. None of it's important now, is it? I guess it's not really conducive when I try so hard to forget so many things, and yet I have them all at my fingertips whenever I'm foolish enough to want to relive them. Was that sentence convoluted? I think it was.
I don't really have much else to say. I can't decide if I take up more or less space now than I did in middle school. I would say less, except I seem to be bumping in to everyone. Maybe it's because I'm walking around in a half-dazed state of semi-consciousness? Mayhaps. Haha, 'mayhaps' makes everything funnier.
Goodbye. I'm off to do something meaningful and important...or something.
Monday, September 13, 2010
And so it goes on! Excitement. I talked to Bruce today! More excitement.
Hrm...I kinda finished my Art thing and now have to draw a picture of one of my furries for Wednesday. Seriously, who has homework in ART? Man, we have so much homework, it's ridiculous.
I suppose the highlight of the day was when I wrote an essay...on a book I've never read. Oh yeah. That's just how MAD SKILLED I am.
I really should write more, like I have been, but it's just late. And I hate that I know consider before 8 o'clock late, but that's how it is. I have to take this damn nail polish off still. And shower. And go to bed. And hope that I actually hear the alarm clock tomorrow morning, cuz I didn't today. Woo.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand....that's pretty much it. Farewell.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
So, hello. I'd just like to mention that, no, I did not have a stroke of genius with the pen thing. So it remains. Blafrle.
But I went to a sculpture garden with Sharicus (Shoobi?) yesterday! That was fun. I just wish they didn't take themselves too seriously. No, we are not going on a "journey of self-discovery" or whatever the hell they said. They're just pretty statues.
Except the one of the girl peeing. That wasn't pleasant to discover.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand...that's pretty much it. Today is the day I do homework. Woo.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
The silent still abandon in the chill of the air
Ice over your heart so there's nothing left to keep
Thoughts run dry, and trees are left bare
A moan, once a song; a slump, once a leap
Death and decay in the heart of your soul
Your thoughts where once free; now they're roped in
Where there was once laughter, now such a toll
Only to see that your eyes are still open
A scene I once had in my head, picture-perfect
There was you and I, till the coldness set in
Then there was nothing, my defect, this effect
Love runs dry like the ink of a pen
Even if forced, by my own coercion
The winter's set in and there's a diversion
Bah, I hate my poetry. I've written two sonnets before, both about words and writing, so I figured I'd try my hand at a love sonnet. I hate the line with the pen, because it has nothing to do with the rest of it, but I really could not think of a single thing that rhymed with 'in.' Maybe I'll have a stroke of brilliance during the night and find the perfect line. Mayhaps. We'll see. Maybe it's better if you just don't read it at all.
Friday, September 10, 2010
...until we can next celebrate numbers ending in '00'.
So sorry for not blogging! Wednesday I was completely dead. I mean, I know they say you're tired all the time in high school, but after two days I was DEAD. I was pretty much asleep for all of World Civ (which is just as boring as I thought it would be). And then yesterday I had a terrible headache and did not feel like doing anything. But I did do something! Dad finally got me a birthday present! A FISH TANK!!!! Haha, this probably doesn't seem that exciting, but it's AWESOME!!!11!1! I can finally get more fish! Hurrah! Huzzah! Hoo-lah! Bonsoir! Oh wait no...
So far, though, the box has contained: the wrong lid and a filter that's too big. Annoying, yes, but it's worth it to HAVE A FISH TANK WOO!!!!11!!1!1! I wonder what fish I will get! Hoo-rah. Excitement.
Moving on to school now, haha. Second day: much like the first. We got lockers, but no one uses lockers. Start of with Geometry, in which we review fractions, and I get all the questions right WITHOUT a calculator (have I mentioned that Mrs. Betty Uglyskirt wants us to buy a $100 calculator? Hail noaw.) Oh, and Mrs. Betty Uglyskirt was wearing another ugly skirt. Not as bad as the first one though. But still pretty ugly. Latin wasn't so bad. I walked there with Izzy, since there was a fire drill at the end of Geometry and we met each other outside. We went over parts of speech in English, which puts us ahead of actual English class in terms of learning English. English. Haha. Then off to Health, which was okay. I once again got chastised for wearing purple :)
Then lunch. It was okay. Lolo was, yanno, friendlier. But I had the great displeasure of discovering Lavender, who is still as repulsive as last year, is in my lunch. Goody. Then me and Happy go to English, which was pretty much dead boring because Mr. K-heaeah (his new name) managed to spread the initial introduction over two days. Seriously, he couldn't have told us how he graded on Tuesday? Oh, and I'm renamimg him because he makes that sound ALL THE TIME.
So I start off towards Art, then remember I have World Civ. That's how boring it is. I forget I even have it. Mrs. BaDNMD is still just as boring. I'm so BORED. Plus she barely even mentioned the homework I spent forever on. Okay more like fifteen minutes. But I took an hour-long break in the middle so THERE. Then FINALLY it was Art, in which I got no work done. We were supposed to be decorating portfolios (read: giant pieces of paper taped together) with our names, in which the letters had to be themed with words that described us. Ew. Y'all don't know my name, but let me tell you, it is not conducive to this type of project. I pretty much complained about it the entire time, then starting doodling faces in the shape of letters, which is really not what Mrs. Frenchname was asking for. Whatever. I'll figure something out. By this point I am SO READY for the day to be over, but alas, I still have science. Having a fun teacher only slightly makes up for the fact that I'm a ghost I'm so dead by that point in the day. Or would that be a zombie? Whatever. The plus side was that we worked in groups to make a [really easy] graph, and Brambilla was in my group (I love that kid), and there were many "That's what she said" jokes.
So FINALLY we leave, and I actually kind of know where I'm going because I have a map, and I actually find the bus!! Not before going on the wrong bus, of course, but it's better than not finding it at all. Happiness. I'd say the ride was about 30 to 45 minutes long, and it was hot, and I was bored, and the bus is QUIET. But then I get home and pass out. And that was my day.
As for today, well, I spent the last two hours watching Project Runway, which of course prompted me to start drawing dresses in my notebook, cuz I am impressionable. Is that the right word? Whatever. But it's the same as when I watch Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? or Say Yes to the Dress and start planning my future wedding, or when I watch America's Next Top Model and start making faces at myself in the mirror. Anyway. Then I tried setting up my fish tank, then I blogged. Now I'll probably do homework, but ick. Just ick.
Other Possible Names for this Post:
- Fish Live Fish
I just really wanted to mention that.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Really, the first thing on my mind about today is that this morning seems like an eternity ago.
Oh, and I missed the bus. Twice. Let me tell you the first time. I'm at what I think is my bus stop (because I really have no idea, you know), getting texts Gem with updates on where it is and stuff, and it PASSES RIGHT BY ME and picks up some random kid I didn't even know went to East. He must be a senior. So I freak out and my mom drives me to some other stop and I get on the bus...yeah. Talked with Gem mostly. Said hi to Happy and Sanguine, who's know on the bus. Nervous. Very.
We finally get to school. I can't find where I am on a map so I ask a nearby teacher, only to discover about five minutes later that I'm RIGHT NEXT to my homeroom class. Pretty much no one I know is in that class, and what I remember of the teacher is that he was wearing a bright pink shirt and had really red skin. It didn't really matter, because homeroom is only six minutes. We didn't get lockers yet. I kinda don't want to.
So I go to my first class, Geometry, and think it's Latin for some reason. Heh. I was originally sitting with Sharicus and Kim, you know, but then Mrs. Betty Uglyskirt gave us assigned seats in alphabetical order, so they were still right next to each other but I was on the other side of the room. Woo. Oh, and I got my first (of three) ten-pound text book to carry around all day.
Then Latin! I mean...then Latin. I like the teacher and her last name so I'll just keep it. Mrs. Smaldore seemed pretty cool, you know, in a young-teacher kind of way. I walk into the class and immediately see it's populated by....nerds...and then I freak out cuz I kinda really don't want to be in a nerd class, you know? The only person I'm even remotely friendly with is Izzy, so I sit next to her. And who should follow me in but Mango and Basil, sitting respectively two and three seats in front of me? I think I'm going to hate Latin.
On to health. Woo! Health actually seems like it's going to be awesome, because ShareBear and Kim and Mango are in that class, and the teacher is awesome too. He suggested I be put on a stool in the hallway and be kicked by seniors for wearing purple, our rival school's color. Haha. Plus there's only like twenty kids in that class, so, woo. Fun!
Then lunch. That was fun *sarcasm*. I didn't remember which cafeteria I was supposed to go in, but I was there early, so I waited around for like ten minutes before finally deciding on Cafeteria 2, then freaking out because I couldn't find anyone. But find someone I did! I ended up sitting with Happy, Sanguine, Grace, and Lolo. Lolo was still kinda distant, but whatever. It doen't really matter anymore, does it?
So then Happy, Lolo, and I all go to English, which consists of 15 people and somehow MIRACULOUSLY *more sarcasm* included Basil. He gave us a questionairre thingy to fill out for homework that I spent wayyyyy too much time on...but I can talk about writing for hours. Haha. Oh yeah, and 'he' is Mr. Spikytan. In case you're wondering why I'm giving them weird names, it's because I don't actually remember their names. Except for Smaldore. I think geometry is Vallies or something, but whatever. SHE IS BETTY UGLYSKIRT. SHE IS BETTY UGLYSKIRT.
*cough* Anyway...that was kinda fun. We're going to read 18 books this year, including Jane Eyre, which is kinda awesome cuz I love Jane Eyre. Anyway. Heh.
Then off to World Civ. I am dismayed to say that it was just as boring as I thought it would be. Plus Mrs. BaDNMD gave us another ten-pound text book, except this one is more like twenty pounds cuz it's FOUR INCHES THICK. In case you weren't sure, "BaDNMD" stands for "Boring-and-Doesn't-Notice-My-Doodling" cuz she doesn't and she is. That was out of order. Whatever. Again I have NO FRIENDS in that class, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to hate that class forever and ever. The one good thing about it is that we're going to read actual BOOKS to 'aid our studies' or whatever, like Animal Farm and The Prince. So...fun.
Then, finally, we get to art. You'd think that would be fun, right? That I'd have one of those crazy obsessive teachers who stay stuff like, "In other classes you'll learn how to read and write...in here you will find your soul!" and stuff like that? A WEIRD art teacher? That should be mandatory for high school. A crazy weird art teacher. And yet no, instead I got some boring old lady. I'm calling her Mrs. Frenchname. I didn't know Sanguine, Sharicus, and Lolo were in that class so I ended up sitting on the other side of the room with people I didn't know. Fuhh. Then we had a stupid activity to "get to know each other" or some crap and I didn't meet a SINGLE freshman. Buttface buttface buttface.
Finally, last class of the day. Mr. Ruin, who I heard was pretty awesome. So I'm actually looking forward to class! But then, somehow, some time between World Civ. and art I managed to lose both my schedule and the map of the school. Buttface. So I get pretty helplessly lost, and some nice teachers help me, and a nice student helps me, and I FINALLY get to class. Yes, it was pretty awesome. Not much to say there, really. I got my third and final ten-pound text book of the day.
So you know you my actual name doesn't end in a 'y' but my nickname does? All of my teachers know me by my actual name. Imagine them calling me Strawberr. Because I didn't want to correct them. Blahh.
So then the bell rings at 2:20, and I don't have a map, so I pretty much don't know which way is up. I'm trying to follow the current, but there are students going in EVERY. DIRECTION. and I don't recognize anything or anyone and it's SCARY. I finally get outside and, now, imagine someone picked up about 40-50 buses and THREW them in front of the school. That's pretty much how it looked. No order, no anything--I met Gem and alas, she couldn't find it either. IT WAS NOT THERE. I mean, seriously, who ever heard of not being able to FIND your bus?? And then they start leaving. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu--
So I call Mother Dearest to pick me up, and it takes awhile since we live on the COMPLETE DIFFERENT OPPOSITE SIDE OF TOWN, and meanwhile Gem texts Aaron and finds out that our bus was AT THE OTHER ENTRANCE TO THE SCHOOL.
I finally get home around 3:30, to start on my homework. That ends up taking three hours. I don't even know how. I was also trying to organize all my books and papers and things and figure out what I needed to do and needed to get and it was CRAZY. I guess I'm just not used to this stuff anymore cuz it was pretty much a jumbled mess in my head. And in my living room. And now I've spent like an hour writing this, and I need to take a shower soon, and happy 500th post!! Oh man I'm tired.
It must be funny for all you older people that I'm making such a big deal about this...but...SERIOUSLY. OMG. FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!! My hair was PERFECT last night, and is now kind of flat...I was worried about that. But it's not like the entire left side of it is sticking straight in the air or something, so...woo. I gotta be at the bus stop by 7, pray to GOD the bus isn't late, and then...I don't even know. I don't even know where any of my classes are, haha. I should really be doing that instead of blog. See, I don't know if I'm writing that nervously to you, but if you could see how fast I'm writing you would change your mind, haha. OMG SQUEE SCHOOLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is exciting.
Monday, September 6, 2010
I think this conversation with Sharicus sums up how I'm feeling:
Me: oh gawsh.
Yeah, that's pretty much exactly what I'm feeling.
So, today, I painted my nails, did not do summer reading, and hung out with Vera. Woo. I don't really mind; I'm glad I did something besides sit around the house all day, frankly. We pretty much just played card games and Sims 3 until we all went to Wendy's. Now it's nine and I need to take a shower and GO TO BED and set my alarm and wake up tomorrow. I think that's the worst part. NKJgbrnwgrnvikwe nv, tomorrow. Oh, and it's going to be 90 degrees when school lets out, so I get to wear my shortthings. Woooooooo.
I have nothing more to say. See you tomorrow, haha :)
Three posts today, woo. Or two posts today and once before school tomorrow. I'll figure something out.
So, we WERE going to go to lunch, but alas, no. In the car I think I made it pretty clear I didn't want to go to Panera's. It is just not a soup or sandwich day, you know? So we get back to the house, Dad sees fit to suggest it anyway, and Mom, still mad that the dog likes me more, suggested in the most insolent and condescending tone she can manage, "So have salad." Ha-ha, aren't you witty. Yes, that NEVER even occured to me. But I knew we'd end up going to Panera's anyway, because my opinion counts for nothing in these matters, and I say so. So SHE thinks the best solution to this problem is just to declare we're not going out at all and to storm into her room.
Oh, and we went to a boring car show earlier that I very clearly did not want to go to, but whatever. I didn't want to do anything.
I HAVE DECIDED WHAT TO WEAR FOR THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. My sparkly purple thing woo. I hope it's cold tomorrow...
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Bah, I have to write two posts a day to make it to 500 by school starting. Ugh, it's hard to type with one hand...I'm trying to get the FIVE LAYERS of nail polish I put on off, and it's pretty much impossible. Looking back, perhaps five layers was not the wisest thing to have. But to get it off I'm soaking it in nail polish remover, which obviously takes up use of one hand.
Thinking now, it probably also isn't wise to stuff popcorn in my mouth with the same hand I just soaked in nail polish remover for five minutes. Ah well.
I went to the mall with Sharicus yesterday!!! 'Twas super fun, indeed. I got a pair of jeans (bringing up my total to 5!! Woo!!) and a pair of sneakers that somehow miraculously got cut down to $15 instead of $30. Woo!
Now my thumb is in the stuff, and it's at a really bad angle. Foo.
Ooooooooh, and Sharicus got me PRESENTS!! Presents being this awesome journal from Staples, a keychain with a cupcake she made herself, and LOTION! Haha. The lotion is all citrusy and amazing and I can't remember what kind it is, haha. But still! Awesomeness!
Friday, September 3, 2010
[I Will Survive--Gloria Gaynor]
If you're thinking that this song is THAT song, you know, than it is.
I would very much like to inform you that Mountain Dew Throwback is awesome.
So I haven't written in like three days >.< but I am now. Obviously. I'm writing this. But I mean a story, haha. Obviously. Anyway...I feel like I have something important to do, but I can't remember what it is. I know I have to bring all my clothes upstairs and see what I'm gonna wear, but I remember that, so obviously that's not what I'm forgetting. Blah...
I've done even less than I did that day I spent hours just playing a video game. It helps that I need a shower and I have a killer headache, which my soda temporarily numbed but is now making worse...yeah. Heh. See, this is yet another great reason I shouldn't ever try drugs.
Is it just me or does Drew Barrymore have a weird face? Anyone? I swear I'm the only one.
In case anyone is wondering, as I'm writing this I'm doing a lame that could be from the seventies. Did you know the song I'm listening to is like eight minutes long? It is. You just...You just gotta DANCE to it, you know? Or sing along, you know? YOU KNOW?
Fssht, I spent like an hour yesterday going through stuff on the Forever 21 website, and it DIDN'T SAVE MY BAG. I mean, really?? Usually it lasts at least a couple days. Now I have to go through everything again. I even made an account, so it would save it! Bahhh.
[Every Day is Exactly the Same--Nine Inch Nails]
By the way, this song is my theme song for school. Jussayin'. You should listen to it. You'll see why.
You know, I really wish I could buy things online without my parents. I mean, it's not like I'd buy anything I didn't want them to see, it's just I get pretty embarrassed when I show people things and they don't like them, you know? Although I don't see how anyone could not like this shirt, but still. Plus I don't like having to get approval for things...or relying on people for things...yeah. It bothers me.
I suppose I could just go into the store to find things, but really, if you've ever been in Forever 21 you know it's impossible to find ANYTHING. Except the last time I was looking for something there, but that was luck because it just HAPPENED to be with other stuff I recognized. Yeah. But you know, I kind of love that store, mostly for the prices. I mean, hot damn, they have some cheap stuff. Notice I said "stuff" instead of an alternative. Just notice. Anyway, they also have some freaking expensive stuff, but I got my graduation-dance-dress for ELEVEN DOLLARS.
Well, by this point I'm just rambling, so I guess I'll see you tomorrow! :D COUNTDOWN TO 500 WOO!! AND THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, WOO!!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
I'm gonna make it so my 500th post is on the first day of school. Just so you know. Heh.
Speaking of school, I FINALLY got a backpack!! Now everything is nice and pretty and packed up :) This is exciting. It's purple, which is always a fun color. And even with everything in it, it's pretty much the lightest thing in the world. It's like I have nothing in it! Which is weird cuz for as long as I remember my backpack was hella heavy on the first day of school. Haha.
So I am once more online shopping, but this time more with the purpose of buying things, haha. Except I don't know how long it would take to ship, since school is starting in five days (eek!) so I'd probably just go to the store if I found something I absolutely loved. Wow, I really have nothing to blog about. Today I beat that game I was telling you about yesterday--or was it the day before? I don't even know. But I beat it, and it was incredibly easy. I mean, hell, it had a talking horse in it. What else could anyone expect?
So, I like this dress, but it seems kind of...short. Oh fuck, it won't let me link it, because there is an AD on the word 'Link' that links to something else. Wtf. Oh wait, I got it, haha. Anyway. It seems pretty short, and I don't wear leggings. I just don't. So.....blah. I'd have to see it in person.
Haha that was a useless paragraph. I have nothing else to say. Goodbye.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I say 'galore' because I officially have two hoodies now, which is technically the most I've ever had at one time. It's just basic black, but I luuuuuurv it. Yes. It's shuper-comfy, you know.
So I've done nothing today but play Petz-Horses 2. Yup. It's a video game. It's incredibly easy and somewhat redundant. But for some reason I COULDN'T STOP PLAYING...probably because I couldn't find a 'save' button. Whatever. Toaster strudels ftw.
That's pretty much all I have to say....I just couldn't stand leaving an old entry up for so long, you know?