Baby it's cold outside.

GAH. I never want to write again.
DRAMA STARTED. Oh, hallelujah. This year Silver can't join but Nat is, and then Ani and Jenci were already there, and YAY! Oh, and Basil is joining again this year :) And apparently Apple. Huh. Strange world.

glitter-graphics.com

This year we're doing Aladdin :D which I think I already mentioned. So, naturally, I'm listening to A Whole New World, which is quite possibly one of my favorite Disney songs of all time.

I think I got the monolague down...I just need to work on pitch X( That would be singing, for those slower people out there. I'm the absolute WORST singer, which wouldn't matter if I didn't want an actual PART this time.

You may wonder why I care this time. Well, let me illuminate:

Yes. I'm pathetic.
Okay, look. I'm not stupid. I know I'm not going to get Jasmine. But I feel the urge to try extra-hard, okay? I just hope HE doesn't get Aladdin.

I don't know how to cook hot dogs.

Faug.

Who's the greater sin?

I got my notebook! It's a poetry notebook, by the way. I think I'll post it on my poetry blog, and-z.blogspot.com. If anyone wants to read...

[Hot-n-Cold--Katy Perry]

I completely and utterly don't want to see Basil tomorrow. I don't want to see his black eyes that are actually just really dark brown but I wouldn't know because I've never seen them close-up. I don't want to see his grin when he flirts with his girl-of-the-day.

I really, really don't want to see Marisa anywhere near him. Actually, I wish she'd decide she hated him and never wanted to see him again. Maybe he'd know how I feel.

But I digress.

I have a feeling my friends are tired of me talking about him, but honestly, I have nothing else to talk about. He occupies my mind all the time. Maybe if he didn't hate me I wouldn't talk about him so much.

Gah. I'm doing it again.

[I Kissed a Girl--Katy Perry]

I keep thinking that if we were partnered in something--I dunno, like a French project, even though we don't have the same French class--that he'd realize I wasn't worth hating. But honestly, that wouldn't change anything. We'd spend the entire time being awkward or silent and talking to our friends.

Gah. I'm out of ideas. G'bye.

I won't say I love you.

[Time is Running Out--Muse]

Five songs. Five songs that remind me of him. I can't stop listening to them.

There's something terribly wrong with me.

1. 
   
   Jump by Flo Rida - He posted it on Facebook and I actually really, really like it. So I bought it. And now I can see him in the lyrics.
   
   
   
2. 
   
   Just the Girl by The Click Five - According to Kim, one of his statuses. I actually already liked this song, I just hadn't bought it, and because he liked it I kinda had to. I really, really hate that. I'm also not having very friendly feelings toward Marisa, the object of his fixation, though I guess that's unfair.
   
   
   
3. 
   
   Don't Stay by Linkin Park - Another one of his statuses, but I already had this song. Iamsofreakingthrilled he likes Linkin Park. Anything we have in common is a good thing. And it makes me wonder who this is directed towards...I remember feeling this way about Vera and it was horrible. Or maybe he just likes it. I don't know. Being the paranoid person I am, I keep thinking it's pointed at me, but I know that's not true because I've reached the status of 'doesn't exist, NEVER HAS!' in his book.
   
   
   
4. 
   
   Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine - I was putting together this playlist when the song came up, and I decided almost instantly to add it. I don't even know why--I don't understand half the lyrics--but it reminds me of him. Maybe not him, though. Something. It's slow and sad and sweet.
   
   
   
5. 
   
   Time Is Running Out by Muse - This has been his theme song for quite some time. It describes my fixation on him almost perfectly, and some of the anger behind it. And it's a freaking awesome song.
   
   
   

Gah. I'm pathetic.

[Just the Girl--The Click Five]

Well, my mom dragged me along with her while she hung with her friend Jody, which I won't go into much because I'd rather gauge out my eyeballs with white-hot pokers. But the one highlight of the trip was going to Staples while they perused Walmart.

I love Staples SO FREAKING MUCH.

I have an obsession with notebooks and journals. A clean page is magical to me; the pen becomes a wand and I can do anything. I saw this amazing notebook for $3.99 and a gorgeous journal for $7.99. CAN WE SAY BUY?

[Flightless Bird, American Mouth--Iron&Wine]

Unfortunately, I'd left my purse in the locked van, which was also across the parking lot, so buy it I did not. I WILL, though. Tomorrow.

It's all faux-leather, reddish brick, with a compass outdent (as opposed to indent) on it. I freaking LOVE IT. And I'm gonna out GUESGUESSGUESS. Poems in it! Yeah, I'm that cool.

As for the notebook, I just want to have it, and it's so deliciously cheap.

There were also some nice pens.

[Don't Stay--Linkin Park]

I'm adding pictures, in case you haven't noticed. Emphasis my point and all. Wanna comment? Or even follow? Pleeeeeeeeeeeease? See, you've resorted me to begging.

But it doesn't hide the truth.

They were a strange group, lost between the folds of thrashing seas and love stories and mascara. There was an eerily mature girl, struggling through an uphill battle, but filled with the laughter of a child; an invisible celebrity who wanted nothing but people, all around her, all the time; a girl with dry humour but caught up in her own blatant ordinariness; a girl obsessed with being anybody else, who insisted she was nobody bu herself; and boys, all boys. Boys that were like the dark side of the moon, like burning suns trapped behind a wall of the pressing shyness of every girl on the wrong side, who lived in a constant new moon and longed to see the light. It all flowed perfectly, almost too perfectly, like a dream, like a story, and they were all trapped inside, like flowers trapped and pressed between the pages of a book.

-

You like?

[Feel Good Drag--Anberlin]

Sometimes it feels surreal. Like there's so many moods, ever shifting, inside my head, and I can only grasp certain things at a time, and there are never words to describe anything at all. It's...faint.

Hah. Fun word decision.

I love words. Eloquent words. Long words. Short words. Abrupt, harsh, painful words. Dream words. Soft, enticing words. Words that make you feel something changing, deep within your soul. Words that caress you, leave you stunned, leave you exhausted by the sheer weight they possess.

So you can't call me material.

JUST DANCE, GUNNA BE OKAY! DA-DA-DOO-DOO-DA JUST DANCE! SPIN THAT RECORD, BABE! DA-DA-DOO-DOO JUST DANCE, DANCE, DANCE J-J-J-J-J-JUST DANCE!

:D

:D:D:D:D

I freakin' love dances.

Happy COULD go, and Heather and Kim were there too, and I actually got along with Ringo! Strange world. I feel so bad for Heather; she looked awesome, but she was so afraid of dancing. Heck, she couldn't do much worse than me, I looked like an "awkward penguin" (thanks Kim). OoOoOoOoO, and Kim danced with a boy! A cute boy named Shane! Hoo-rah! Awesome night!

Oh, and Basil was wearing a yellow shirt with flowers on it XD As in a Hawaiian shirt, people. He is the freaking BEST dancer. I really shouldn't watch him though :)

I get SUPER hyper at these things. I managed to down a soda in A MINUTE AND 36 SECONDS, and I feasted upon sour-straws and had ANOTHER soda and danced like a moron and screamed a lot and OH MY GOD IT WAS SO FUN. And, God forbid I say this, but I think it was better without Silver, Ani, Nat, and Lolo. It was me, Kim, Happy, Heather, and even Ringo, and it was like a completely different set of friends and thus a completely different attitude...I loved it. It was amazing and awesome and I LOVE DANCES.

I don't know why I bother. You're obviously all dead.

I love how clear the air is today. How the sunlight fills it even in the twilight. How the blue sky seems infinite.

I'm capable of getting along with anybody, simply by willing myself not to be rude.

DANCE TONIGHT.

And now, with that completely indiscreet segue, I will begin.

ANI AND NAT ARE NOT GOING TO THE DANCE. WTF. WTFWTFWTF. And Lolo might not either. And Happy's parents probably won't let her; she hasn't called yet (we'll be picking her up if she can). But Heather and Kim are going, which is AWESOME, because now I won't be COMPLETELY alone. Gah.

Why do I want to go, you ask? Because it goes against everything I'm about to miss the first dance of the year.

And I kinda get the feeling that something's gonna happen. Or maybe I just wish something would. But I'm not one to take chances.

Connor asked me to the dance XD

RELAX, NONEXISTENT READERS. I'm 99.9% percent sure he was kidding. You see, we were on the bus, talking about how Vera couldn't go to the dance (I think), and Connor asks: Will you go to the dance with me?

I'm very proud of myself here, because I actually thought about my answer, and instead of saying "um...no", I said: I don't think Kylie would appreciate that much. [He and Kylie were going out.]

We broke up.

This is where I freak out (kinda) because NO ONE TOLD ME THEY BROKE UP AND THEY WERE A SUPER-CUTE COUPLE. Anyway. I think somewhere in the following conversation he repeated his question, but he must not have heard me, because he asked again, and I said no, and he was like "You're not going with me?" and I was like "No...." and he was like "That's really mean." Then Happy clears up that yes, I am going to the dance, just not with him. Then he proceeds to ask Happy.

I know weird people.

I'M GOING TO WEGMANS AND SHOPRITE AND ACME ON SATURDAY WITH LOLO, HAPPY, AND RINGO TO SEE IF THEY'LL BE NICE PEOPLE AND DONATE SOMETHING TO OUR SPECTACULAR BAKESALE EXTRAVANGANDA IN TWO WEEKS. Ch'yea.

This is a gift; it comes with a price. Who is the lamb and who is the knife?

[Rabbit Heart--Florence+The Machine]

Basil is ten kinds of hot. Seriously. I like staring at him.

Haha. "Ten kinds of hot."

I keep blogging with nothing to blog about. Huh.

Well, Halloween is drawing nearer, and I think I might be a cat! Yes, a cat. Shut up cuzyoucan'tthinkofanythingbetter. I just need a tail, ears, and black makeup.

[Boulevard of Broken Dreams--Green Day]

I have plenty of black clothes, trust me. Actually, I have two options for the bottom. Black skinny jeans that I hate? Or my swirl-tacular black skirt with black stockings that would make me look like a down-played whore? Desicions, desicions.

It's not like my skirt is short, or anything. Heavens, no! I'm just worried that, with stockings, it'd look like I was trying to hard, when really I just don't like showing my legs (let's raise one for modesty).

Huh. I think I'll also get black gloves, cut the tops off, and put on awesome fake nails :D It's really hard to do anything with them, but heck, it'll be worth it! I actually have some black fakies upstairs that I never used, so that's all taken care of.

I AM BRILLIANT.

And now I can't wait till Halloween.

This is a bit like what I'll look like.

Aah.

Well. Today Basil mouthed at me "I love you". The sad thing is he has no idea how he's hurting me. He has no clue. I wish I could tell him.

[Eyes on Fire--Blue Foundation]

Just so ya know, he was doing that to everyone. I'm not sure what exactly my expression was...I think I started to smile, then decided not to and squashed that grin before it could reveal how much I wished he meant it, and it turned into more of a grimace. I was not in the mood for laughing at him. I'm still not.

But, in other news, I got two more shirts :D And Ani decided not to be mad at me anymore. I don't think she ever really was.

Imma go write now.

Hah. This entry sucked. COMMENT AND IT WON'T.
Oh, and what should I be for Halloween? Any suggestions? Anyone? Wow.

The two of us walk out together under ancient trees, lie down again and again in the flowers, face to face with the sky.

Wellwellwell. Today was an interesting/weird/bad day. I think I'll start off with Basil.

YES! I had Basil-contact today! Alert the media. And it was fairly disturbing.

This is how it went down: You know that sign for...er...well it's a finger on each side of your mouth and, uh, tongue-waving? Gosh I feel like such a perv describing it. Anyway you know what it means? Ew.

GUESS WHO DID THAT TO ME. Guess. Just guess.

Ickyboy: Hey Strawberry, Basil wants you.

I look over, confused, heart racing.

*BASIL DOES DISGUSTING SIGN THINGY*

Of course, at the time I had no idea what it meant, so I just started giggling because it looked funny.

GAH.

Anyway. Onto my next topic.

Ani is being majorly uncool. Remember Hans? Ani's 'boyfriend'? Well Nat decided to be nice and tell me ANI WAS LYING. So, after confronting her with this and her STILL saying it was true, I went up to Hans in lunch and ASKED HIM IF HE KNEW HER. CAN YOU GUESS WHAT HE SAID? CAN YOU?

I'll give you a hint. No.

And then SHE had the AUDACITY to be mad at ME!

Surely you see what's wrong with this equation.

I had a weird day.

And for some reason I keep wanting to refer to Basil as my boyfriend.

GAHGAHGAH.
Sorry for the craptastic posting lately. Nothing very interesting has happened so far, except for this. Hmm. Maybe I'd be more inspired to blog if SOMEONE BLOGGED THEMSELVES.
Yeah. I'm talking to you.
I'm allergic to kiwi.

Universe closed. Use rainbow.

Heh.

[I'm just writing this for a convenient subject-changer.]

I feel like hanging out with one of my friends today. If only they'd ANSWER THE FREAKING PHONE.

[Again!]

I love sunshine. I went outside this morning and it was just gorgeous...the cold air seeps under your skin and as the sunlight fills the air and...how can anyone think nature could be improved? It's perfect as it is.

I'll probably finish this later, when I've done something.

To look in your eyes and not look away; to be in your arms and still be awake.

Wow. Just wow.

If you read Nat's blog, you'd know about the AMAZINGLY hot seventh grader who she was going to 'bump in to' and become friends with. She chickened out, and then later, when she and Ani were at the bathroom, ANI ran in to HIM and HE ASKED HER OUT. OMFG.

So yeah. Bit strange there. His name's Aaron, my expert sources tell me. I think I'll call him Hans...like ANS...as in Ani's, then Nat's, then mine (Strawberry). I hope that boy has a twin.

...That's really all I had to say. TGIF!!!

I won't ease your strain; you'll be waiting in vain. I got nothing for you to gain.

[Spotlight--Mutemath]

This is so weird. His face is kinda like a drug. I just want to keep staring and staring at it......or maybe I'm just going insane.

I really hate vague, emotional blog entries that don't actually tell about a certain event, but how you feel about it. Confusing, much?

Much.

Anyway. Weirdest thing happened today. I was walking out of humanities, and Basil was like, first in line to go in. I didn't know he was there and I kinda turned and you know how when you accidentally catch someone's eye and it's like a hook keeping you there? I really couldn't turn my head at all. He looked kinda confused, and I must've looked freaked out, because I always do to a degree. But I don't know if the time slowed down or I did (probably the latter, I'll admit) but I know it did...freaky. His eyes are like, black.

[Go All The Way--Perry Farrell]

This song is weird.

[Eyes On Fire--Blue Foundation]

I don't agree with the whole "all's well that end's well" philosophy. It's like saying attempted murder doesn't matter because nobody actually died (yes, i know it does matter, but it's the only example i could think of. im running slow today).

Huh. I went to art club today! :D It was really, really fun. We paper-mached (i think that's spelled wrong...) a balloon to make a globe then cut up tissue paper. I was at the same table as Nat, Lolo, Tiff and Jenci, and Silver is coming next week. WOOT. Ch'yea.

Dude, I'm having the best lasagna for dinner.

[Supermassive Black Hole]

I'm auditioning for RTV (R*** TV...our school's eight-grade announcement system) because THEN I CAN JOIN DRAMA. I probably wouldn't have if Happy wasn't also auditioning, but everything's better with a friend. I dunno. I'm both terrified of people and I have MEGA stage fright. Not a good combination for newscasting. No, indeed.

G'bye.

F*CK.

[Music of the Night~Phantom of the Opera]

Crap. I like Marky Mark.

Henseforth known as M&M.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

That is all.

Well, not really. I have a feeling I've given Mrs. Halden too-high expectations of myself. On everything's she's assigned so far, I've written about writing. I just know I'll disappoint her on the next big assignment.

Huh. This is my plan: write a book or two, have it be bestseller, get a scholarship or several, and go to Princeton. It doesn't work like that, I know.

[Apocalypse Please--Muse]

After that, I don't know. I want a career. I want something to do with my time. I just don't know what.

I've compiled a list of guys I'd go out with if asked:

1. M&M.
2. Apple.
3. Frenchie.
4. Catman(?)
5. Moo (shaddup).

Notice Basil is not on that list. I don't know if I could handle him...after everything.

And guys I actually like:

1. Basil.
2. M&M.

Huh.

It's so weird how all my readers (except for Nat, Lolo, and Silver) have no faces to attach to these. Well, here.

M&M: He's kinda my height (5'2), with dark, lank brown hair, brown eyes, and pale-ish skin. And he's REALLY skinny. And he has this cool-guy slouch. And he talks to Ringo in humanities (oops. did i write that?)

I can't help wondering if my realization that I liked him came from my jealousy that he. talks. to. Ringo.

[Invincible--Disturbed]

Apple: Indian, I think. I dunno. He has dark-ish skin, a wide face, hang-ish dark brown hair, and is slightly taller than me. He's like the model student, cuz he's all popular, but he's also really smart.

Frenchie: Gawd. Dark hair, freckles, hazel eyes. I think he's exactly my height. He's kinda...I dunno...dreamy? Naw. Too gushy. But you get the idea.

Catman: He used to have long brown hiar, but now it's short and he looks like Christopher Robins. He's kinda cute, in a dorky way. And I don't mean endearing dorky. But he's not really awkward...it's hard to explain. He's actually pretty nice.

Moo: Hum. I actually don't think I would go out with him. He's kinda happy-go-lucky and has the. most. gorgeous. eyes. One time I said they were like pools with fish and grass...Nat and Lolo tortured me with that for months. Gawd.

[Sound of Pulling Heaven Down--Blue October]

Basil: You might know this already. He's all brilliant and hilarious and everything. Cappucino-ish skin, super-dark-unreadable eyes, dark hair. *dies* And he's really, really tall.

There ya go. For a little reference.

Depressive mood start NOW.

So I was bored this morning, and I bought the Twilight album! :D It's actually WAY better than I feared it would be. Robert Patterson shouldn't sing, but other than that, the album is gold! Hoo-rah! I don't get why it was described as emo, though, because it is so NOT emo, but whatever, I'm no critic.

[Flightless Bird, American mouth--Iron & Wine]

It's so great getting new music :)

NOW the depressive mood starts.

I'm sure we can all guess at the cause. He makes me feel...I dunno, like I'm not good enough. I've gone from wondering why I like him to wondering why no one else does. It's frustrating, feeling like I do.

[Bella's Lullabuy--Carter Burwell]

I dunno how Carter Burwell is, but he's has some mad skillz.

I hate days when nothing happens. It's...so...tedious. So very tedious. You have no idea how quickly I lose my mind.

I feel like I should blog more, because my entries have been so short and suckish lately. The problem is I have nothing to do but complain. I'm still waiting for them to reschedule the dance...argh. We are so much more important than sixth graders. Argh. Stupid canteen.

[Supermassive Black Hole--Muse]

I can type really fast.

[Supermassive Black Hole--Muse]

I'm thinking about getting the Twilight soundtrack. Actually, I'll probably listen to all the song first, because I simply don't buy songs without knowing if I like them. But that's a start. I absolutely ADORE Bella's Lullabuy.

Nightey-night.

I look around but I can't find you; if only I could see your face. I start rushing towards the skyline, I wish I could just be brave. I must become the lion-hearted girl ready for a fight before I make the final sacrifice.

[Rabbit Heart--Florence+The Machine]

Current favorite song, by the way.

I don't really have anything to blog about (except that I feel like I never see Basil anymore, though maybe it's just the difference from last year, when I had all my classes with him), so I'm going to blog about some characters.

I started writing this story, The Wrath of the King, mostly because I was watching The Lord of the Rings earlier and it always inspires me to write something epic. The two main protaginists, Casia and Anordas, where originally to be based on moiself and guess-who, but when I started writing, they kinda developed personalities of their own. Casia is compassionate, brave, and gentle, and Anordas has a tendency not to listen, but he's pretty mild-mannered, gets distracted easily, is good at surpressing emotion, and deeply admires Casia. It's, like, an instant connection at the start of the book.

I have three pages so far, but that's six in book form, and it's pretty good anyway. I write really, really slow.

I was curious to see if it would sound better in Latin.

EGO sum non unus ut narrow

infractus pectus pectoris vel verus diligo basium,

sed, amo battre de eternus procella,

est mos adeo mihi eventus,

pro diligo est a plures species res.

[Rabbit Heart--Florence+The Machine]

Lovely, isn't it? Heh, two words are in French (battre de). Betcha can't understand it at all.

Oh, and EGO is 'I', which I find majorly awesome.

I was curious to see if it would sound better in Latin, so I made up a random poem that was actually pretty bad and translated it. But "thrashing of" didn't translate in Latin, for some reason. Whatevs.

[Blinding--Florence+The Machine]

I want to get a degree in so many things. English literature, philosophy, film making, fashion+design (or interior design). And I want to take all the classes in high school. Business, art, drama, calculus, trig, physics. Not to put into use, but to simply to know. I'm eternally curious. I guess it's part of what fuels my desire to be a good student.

I'm not really a model student, though I could be. I've got the intelligence, the competitiveness, but not always the drive, and usually I just make stupid mistakes and forget my homework. If I really made an effort, joined a few more clubs, maybe even a sport, I'd be the golden-girl (academically. not socially).

[Dog Days Are Over--Florence+The Machine]

I love how everything can be turned into a fairytale. I love how I can see magic where there is none. Imagining makes me eternally happy.

Just so ya know.

Fairy-tale land.

My latest obsession: video cameras. I could so see myself documenting my life. Can we say AWESOME?

I dunno if I could bring it to school...I could lie to the principal and say I'm interesting in a career in film-making and it's a kind of personal project, and I won't be posting anything online, but they may stil be bothered. Huh. I couldn't see myself as a film-maker, but I've always thought half my stories would be better as movies. I'm a very visual person. Thoughts are overrated when they can be displayed.

Anyway. I don't know anything about camcorders, but the Kodak Zi8 Pocket Video Camera looks pretty nice, for all my purposes. And it's only $179.95. Of course, I don't know where I'd come up with 200 bucks, but one can dream.

I'm off to eat chili.

She's going out to forget they were together; all this time he was taking her for granted. She wants to see if there's more than he gave, she's looking for.

[I Don't Wanna Be In Love--Good Charlotte]

I'm listening to this song because it would probably be played at the dance that I will NOT be going to. Why not, you ask? Because there was a freaking power outage and it was cancelled.

GAR.

Anyway. Basil's head blocks my view to the board in LA. It's sad, really. The only view of him I get is his hair. Oh, and I almost ran into him twice today. GAH.

I don't really think I had a good day.

I feel really bad. I was talking to Heather again and she suggested we hang out over the weekend...I wanted to be her friend, but when she suggested it, I was suddenly very unenthused. I dunno. It just didn't sound...interesting.

[Just Dance--Lady GaGa]

I love making up people. It makes me feel important, somehow. Like on Sims 2. If I can't control my own life, I can very well control theirs!

G'bye.

I'm been spending all my time just thinking 'bout you, I don't know what to do, I think I'm falling for you.

[Handlebars--Flobots]

Blogger is annoying me. It won't let me post except for from the dashboard.

My friend Heather is, like, obsessed with boys. She thinks you need a date to the dances (tomorrow! yay!) and no one asks her out because she's fat. She's worse than me. I'm only obsessed with A COUPLE guys.

Heh. Last night I had a dream where I made out with Frenchie. It was pretty damn awesome. But his mouth was kinda wet...

HAH. THAT WAS A TOTAL TMI!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway. Today was a pretty good day. I think I can successfully float along in French and still get an A. And Mr. Brooklyn (student teacher for science) did way better today, even though he took forever to explain everything.

I got the math homework! Yay! It was actually pretty simple. But I still can't make the coordinates always match up...

Basil is my music class, and I actually got a good view of his FACE this time! Gawd. I can't believe people wonder what I see in him.

[Believe Me--Fort Minor]

*sigh* I'm very happy. Very, very happy. Blissfully so.
I can't wait till the dance tomorrow! It's the Welcome Back dance, and also the first one of the year. Let me tell you this, if you're a first time reader or something: I LOVE dances! There's so much energy, it's like being electrified awake. Even when you sweat and can't dance and practically get drunk on lukewarm soda. Even when all you can do is watch your crush from far away dancing, and then start giggling like mad because THEY'RE FREAKING DANCING AND THEY DON'T SUCK LIKE YOU DO and it seems almost wrong to watch...yeah.

[Remember the Name--Fort Minor] Is it just me or are they talking about Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park?

I get the impression people think I'm mean, but really, I'm not all bad. My beef is always with your personality, nothing else (even though I usually don't tolerate the bad aspects of your personality). I always have a reason not to like you. I actually find it hard to see people as ugly...everyone seems kind of beautiful to me.

Yeah, I'm not weird at all.

[Wonderful--Gary Go]

I just find it hard to talk to people for a long time...I can never think of anything to say. And I usually don't really try to become friends with someone.

I'm going to try with Shari, though. She's actually really cool...and she sat with us at lunch...and she talks to me! I just need to ask Nat something...gar.

I just ran out of things to say.

Whoop-di-joy.

Second day of school. Wow. I have all my classes with Happy and Heather, who are both incredibly nice people that I plan to be best friends with by the time school is over.

And...Basil. I only have LA so far with him, which is both a blessing and a curse. I feel like I've been staring at the back of his neck all day...and noticing the color of the skin on his arms (cappucino)...and examining his nose whenever he turns around. I feel like Bella, in New Moon, when she tells Jacob he's 'kinda beautiful', except I haven't actually spoken to him and that sounds weird.

LANGUAGE A-

LA is gonna be so great this year! And no, not because of Basil (gawsh, I'm not the stupid). We're studying Shakespeare!!!!!!! And performing A Midsummer Night's Dream!!!! OH JOYI could totally see me as Helena and Basil as Demetrius...but I'm obsessing, aren't I? No, I just love Shakespeare. Methinks I'll read it now. And do my homework XP

FRENCH-

Mrs. New seems cool, but my class isn't all too great. I've always been fairly good at French, but I never really learned it, just memorized it. I'll definitely have to review it if I wanna mantain an A in that class.

Patrick et sa femme Annick habite a Lille, mais il pas de moi de fevriere, chez sa mere, qu'e Pariessene.

I really butchered the spelling there, but try sounding it out. We had to memorize it in sixth grade.

SCIENCE-

Mr. Brooklyn, the student teacher, seems like the type who's alwaysALWAYS wanted to be a teacher, and by God, I hope he becomes one.

HUMANITIES-

Mrs. Gross is actually way nicer than I thought she was...I don't really like my seat, but oh well, those'll change. I really do like history. It makes me feel nostalgic...

MATH-

Mr. G seems like a really good math teacher. He says the average grades for the marking periods are 87, 88, 86, and 83. Puh-lease. I'm keeping my As, thank you very much.

Though I do need help on tonight's homework...sigh.

It's just a little bit of eccentricity.

Well. First day of eigth grade. It was a pretty good day, all things considered. It seemed so much the same...like the last two months were really just two days and I'm back again on Monday. So strange. And I'm on the bottom floor this time, in the front hallway, and it's so weird because I've always been in the B Wing (second floor). It's kinda like the feeling of vertigo but not quite...

Here's a secret for you: I'm a total spaz. Last night, before I went to sleep (for the record, I woke up at 1 and didn't sleep again till 5:30, and I had to get up an hour later), I was giggling and shaking and convulsing on myself approxiamtely every 45 seconds till I finally calmed down. And I giggled like mad today, when I was on the bus, and when I saw all of my friends, but that was more for happiness than psychoti--nervousness.

Ringo still apparently hasn't realized that if she agitates me, I will be agitated. She hasn't changed one bit. Actually, no one has. Before I even started to get snappy and sarcastic with her, Ani warned me to 'be nice' to her. And as soon as Nat saw her, she raced up to give her a hug. I'm sorry, but that hurts. If she doesn't speak to me I will not speak to her.

Mrs. Kinger is actually way nicer than I thought she'd be...she's all cool in advisory, though I'm still not in her gym class (House, yay!). Halden, the LA teacher and also the one who shares our advisory, is also very nice. I haven't really met the other teachers, but they all seemed...nice.

That seems to be my favorite word today.

I've already finished my 40-point project that's due on Friday! Chyea. We're supposed to write a bio-poem about ourselves (it has a very strict guideline), and then we paste it onto this big paper that we cover in photos and drawings and magazine cutouts! Yay! I had a hard time getting everything to fit, but I think it turned out rather nice *beams with own superiority*.

Oh, and we had to do this license-plate thing, where we design our own license plate, and I TOTALLY got on Halden's good side by making mine: WRITR4EVR. I was gonna do 4LIFE but it wouldn't fit. Huh.

Ugh. Ringo and I have the same schedule. I cannot even begin to express my contempt at this prospect. But the good news is that Happy and I ALSO share the same schedule! Yes! I'm not dead yet!!!

Now onto the topic I know you've all been dying to hear about: Basil.

I just...don't know. When I saw him, he seemed so happy. His bad influences, Flower and Seagull, are gone (just Tall and Junior...ew), and he sat with his REAL friends at lunch (Frenchie, Catman, Apple, etc.). He's...just...better. I feel like I have to get to know him all over again. I mean, for the life of me, I can't remember an actual time he's been an ass...just because he hates (hated?) me and I felt so bad about that, he seemed mean...but then, all my friends tell me he is. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. He seems to have forgotten, but then, he does every year.

*sigh* I'm happy now...

This is going to be a good year.

We are strong, but we don't belong.

Okay, so I was gonna continue with that entry, but I'd rather just start a new one.

I had some rather unusual dreams (why is it always three????). The first one is kinda foggy...but I remember being scared and not really knowing why when I woke up (at 5:30, oddly). I think I was running to something, and I don't think anyone was chasing me...I was with a group of people...I think. I think the scariest part was the unknown of it all.

When I woke up, I was facing the ceiling, and my knees were actually bent. They also hurt like hell. It's hurt all day. Ugh.
So, today I went shopping!!!! Yay. I got two pairs of jeans and a shirt. That completely wiped me out. And what's worse, my mom wouldn't let me get the shirt I really wanted, even though I probably wouldn't have had money for that with the jeans and everything...those were pretty expensive...and there was this dress that looked absolutely gorgeous on me that I'd never have the oppurtunity to wear. Tear. So I'm broke and have officially 3 new items for tomorrow. Gah! I really, really want that shirt!!!! I wanna wear it tomorrow!!!!
God. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. In twelve hours, I'll be awake. WTF! I'm so scared and unhappy...I feel like I'm about to cry. I hate this so much. I'm so far from feeling confident about all this--I'd rather be wearing a different shirt and jeans (judging by the heat, I'll be wearing shorts, and ewewew) and I'm terrified of tomorrow...I don't know what to do. I don't want to disappoint anybody...I don't want to see all these people. Ugh. I'm so unprepared. And terrified. And unsure. And I know the simplest thing would make me feel better--that shirt, for instance. I don't even know why. Usually I don't get so attached to clothes I haven't even bought yet...I guess I think I'd look better in that then the shirt I have, so it kinda symbolizes the first day being better.
Okay. I'm going to wear my black shirt with PEACE going down the side in big, bright letters tomorrow. On Wednesday I'll wear the shirt I got today. After that, I dunno.
This doesn't make me feel any better.

Gawd. I just watched Phantom of the Opera. Tear.
I'll finish this tomorrow.

These lies are leading me astray; it's too much for me to take.

[This Love, This Hate--Hollywood Undead]

I'm....so....happy.

I don't even have anything to blog about. I'm so happy. This is great!

I need ten dollars. That's it, and I'm done. And school starts in four days...I still don't know what advisory Basil is in, but what does it matter? Maybe the less I see of him the healthier. Lolo is my advisory...I still don't know my schedule...and Ringo is too, ugh. Oh well. Maybe this time she'll get that I never want to see her ever again and leave me alone.

Rimby, Moo, Mark, and Gary are all apparently in my advisory...gawd...I'm screwed. Majorly. I don't even like any of them, but they're just...ew. Ew ew ew.

[Breaking Benjamin--Until the End]

Three days left of freedom. I just...I can't waste it, though I probably will. That doesn't even matter. I'm going to be an eight grader, the top of the school. I will make something of myself this year. I'll join clubs! Yeah.

Ugh. Ideas. I need to write an article for the school paper if I wanna join drama, and not joining drama is not an option. It makes me so unbelievably happy...sigh. The parents don't seem to get that I have to be successful on my own time...I can't just flip a switch and be somebody, and have talent, but they're going to take away my happiness as if I can...it's so stupid. I don't write to publish, or make money...and I've never been good at article writing...sigh.

[Prayers of a Refugee--Rise Against]

I'm too busy visioning.

Yeah. I'm screwed. I'm completely and utterly screwed. Why is it that my unhappiness is always my fault? Whatever. I've completely messed up this time. I really need to stop pouring my heart out. It's going to get me nowhere.

Cuz if you jump, I will jump too. We will fall together from the building's ledge, never looking back at what we've done. We'll say it was love...cuz I would die for you on Skyway Avenue.

[Skyway Avenue--We the Kings]

I love looking at a story I wrote forever ago and deciding it was good. It's like, BOO-YAH, SELF!

Yeah. I'm normal.

And I'm the type of girl who really, really hates the type of girls who get the flairs that say corny sh*t like, "I'm the type of girl who runs into a chair and apologizes. <3"

Cuz you know what they're thinking. "OMGOMGOMG im so quirky and awesomee!!!!1!1 i sayy im weirdd evenn tho im popularr so ill totallyy gett thiss flairr!!!! to showw everyonee how quirkilyy awesomee i amm!!!!!! eeheeheeheehee!!!1111!11!!1"

I had pizza for dinner. Yum.

[Don't Trust Me--3OH!3]

Is everyone freaking dead??? Why has no one posted in forever??

Ewmahgawd. I totally googled my URL and I FOUND MY BLOG ON ANOTHER SITE. Something called Global Grind or whatever. They posted my summer playlist! Wtf!

[Falling Down--Arteyu]

Yeah. That's it. Oh, and I still don't have the money for my clothes. My last plan was a major fail.

You're too shy, shy.

*sigh* I am the weirdest spender. I hatehatehate spending money, but when I do want to buy something I end up getting something I don't really want or need (like two things of lip gloss, a choker, and two shirts...oh wait, I wanted the shirts!). I also can never decide if I want to buy something or not...I constantly assess it, weigh the pros and cons, and usually I decide not to get it. But...I really, really love to spend. One time, during Christmas, my dad gave me $100 for Christmas, and I spent the first $75 in 15 minutes. Chyea.

IN OTHER NEWS, I have Mrs. Kinger for advisory, and she's the evil gym teacher that no one likes. GAR. The good thing is Lolo is in the joined advisory, so technically we're in the same advisory! Yay! But Nat and Silver aren't...and Moo, Gary, Connor, and...someone else I forget the name of who is also a guy is. I'm going to have a fun year. Oh, and Catman and Bruce aren't. Dunno bout Frenchie or Basil.

Gawsh.

OH. And I've been working on my backpack, so everything is packed! Except for, dundundun, my calculator! Ugh. I have no idea where it is. Like, no clue. It's lost in the recesses of old school supplies and trash. But I have some shiny new stuff :D

Speaking of being prepared for school, those are the only two fronts where I am. I don't know what's gonna happen when I walk off that bus...what I'm going to feel...and I have, like, NO new clothes.

You see, I LOVE JCPenny's, and usually I'll peruse their website for clothes I like. This time, I actually put stuff in the shopping cart! And then, even with a major sale and getting rid of, like, three items, my total comes to: $133.93

Damn.

I would pay for it all myself, of course, and I was planning to (the most I'll *cough* borrow is 30 dollars...if my parents are willing, of course) BUT. Yes, there's a but (but when isn't there?). I only have a measly $60 dollars on hand, which means a no-no on two pairs of jeans, one pair of bermudas, some gym capris that I've wanted since the first day of sixth grade, and three shirts. Yup, that's it. Seven items, on sale, and it's 133 dollars? What the hell, people?

I somehow have to get $73 before these sales end, which would be just smashing if my allowance wasn't weekly and it would take two months to get that much anyway. As you see, I'm in quite the predicamant.

I think I'll take the easy way out: fill out a gazillion of those book things from Commerce (ten dollars for every ten books! woo!). Because heaven forbid I actually do some work for my bread. Besides, it's too late in the summer anyway.

It's weird, though. Despite this, er, problem, I'm strangely happy. And this time it's not because I'm insane! :D I'm happy because I know my advisor, and that is, even if a small one, a definite.

I've got to fill out some paperwork. If you'll excuse me, Strawberry out.

OH MY GOD I JUST FINISHED CATCHING FIRE.
OMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOMGOMGOMGOGMGOGMOG.
WHEN DOES THE NEXT BOOK COME OUT??????????????