Monday, May 30, 2011

For jollies.

I went to the beach yesterday! Fudge, it was awesome. I love the beach. It was fairly impromptu, too; on Saturday I was texting Silver and she mentioned she was going to the beach, and asked if I wanted to go. And I was like, yes. Really, really yes.

So we got to the beach around two, and pretty much immediately went into the water. It was fantastic. We didn't really do anything except brace the waves and shriek like little girls when the waves got too high and we washed up on shore. Eventually, after an appropiately long amount of time, we meandered back to shore and buried each other. I buried Silver up to her arms, but she buried everything but my face, which was mostly fun and somewhat uncomfortable. Uncomfortable, because I got sand in my ears. As a matter of fact I still have sand in my ears. I seriously could not get it all out.

We ventured back into the water to wash off the copious amount of sand completely covering both of us, and it was really freezing cold by that point. Also, most of the people on the beach had left. It was around five by that point, which probably contributed to the temperature of the water. Eventually we got all of the sand off, redonned our clothes, and packed up to head to the Ocean City boardwalk.

It was already getting dusky when we got there, so I was lent this amazing, comfortable sweatshirt and we descended unto the boardwalk. Actually, technically we ascended, since we had to go up a ramp to get there...anyway. We got pizza, which was fantastic, and then Silver's mom gave us twenty bucks and told us to meet back there at nine. Hee :D First thing we did was get funnel cake, which was fantastical, and then we walked up and down the boardwalk commenting on the stupid people one finds at the Jersey shore. AND I got my fortune told at some seedy fortune teller's place :D Apparently I'll have three kids, live till between 91 and 93, have a lot of guy friends, and fall in love when I'm twenty. Oh, and the best one: I'll have some sort of dancing or other similarly athletic career. Ba ha ha. Ba ha. ba ha ha.

Traffic going back was terrible. Just completely awful. We left around and maybe before ten and didn't get back to Silver's house till midnight. I actually fell asleep on her sister, I was so tired. Silver's mom suggested I stay the night, since it was so late, and that's what ended up happening. Their dog tried to hump me, then Silver, and then just wandered off, maybe to find more victims. Either way, after all that, their couch-bed was fantasticly comfortable.

My mom came to pick me up pretty early (as in 7:30) and I was still butt-tired, but so commenced my Monday. I haven't really done much today: some homework, and I went to the mall with my dad in a desperate search for something short to wear, but no avail. That basically means I'm screwed throughout the week when it's ridiculously hot and, unlike the weekend, I can't just wear the same thing every day. Ugh, sometimes I hate hot weather. I should probably go find something to wear for the week.

God, school is almost over! And finals are almost upon us, starting with the vocab final on Wednesday. I'm fairly confident I can do well on vocab, of all things, but then again it could be ridiculously hard and I could fail because I didn't study. On Friday I believe is the Latin final; I don't know when world civ. is, and math and science are both on the 14th. I'm not sure if I have an art final, but I sure as hell hope not.

I think I'll go finish up the world civ. project I did almost entirely myself. For jollies, you know.

Friday, May 27, 2011

If you carry on this way, things are better if I stay.

I feel I have officially earned the title of Terrible Blogger. I just don't have the time :(

I decided to see my iPod songs rank based on number of times I've played them, and I must say, it's a pretty good representation of my favorite songs. I guess that makes sense :P Naturally Map of the Problematique by Muse is number one at 547 listens :) I could probably listen to that song twenty times over and not get tired of it.

This week has been ridiculously long. Seriously, the three-day weekend would never come. Today especially didn't want to end. I wore a skirt today, though! Haha, it was too hot to wear anything else. So that was adventerous.

My group was supposed to present in world civ. today, but obviously that wasn't happening (since we didn't actually finish) so I decided to ask World Civ. Teacher to change the dates during third period. I was originally going to lie and say it was because Megan was going to be late (which was true! kind of), but seriously, World Civ. Teacher just knows when you're lying. I can tell. So I said I forgot to bring my flash drive. Technically that's true, but I still avoided mentioning that the project wasn't actually finished. I suppose I should work on that at some point.

I also lied when saying that I left my vocab homework at home, when really I just didn't do it. I meant to, I really did, I just kept leaving my vocab book in strange places and it didn't really work out. But English Teacher said I could turn it in on Monday, even though the vocab test for that unit was today, so that's good. Considering it's worth almost 40 points, you know. Damn homework.

Speaking of homework, this is my total homework for the weekend:
  • Finish human rights Powerpoint.
  • Take notes on human rights Powerpoint to be used as note cards.
  • Vocab homework.
  • Science worksheet.
  • Scence mini-lab.
  • Whatever art homework she's piled on us this weekend.
So, not a terrible load, I suppose, but certainly enough to keep me occupied. I really want to do something this weekend. It's a bit short-notice to go to the beach, even though I kind of want to, but I at least want to go to the mall with Shari or something. Just something.

It's kind of beginning to dawn on me that the year's almost over. I have to admit I'm not much for reflection, so don't expect any tearful heartfelt remembrances until around the last day, when I start bawling because I hate change. I'm excited for next year, though. Mostly because of Creative Writing, but just in general it feels like it will be a good year. A year with a buttload of work, but a good year nonetheless. Also, I'll get to see Up again after an entire summer apart, stalking him on Facebook :)

Oh, and in gym today, I was finally up to bat after someone on my team got a HOME RUN. Like I was going to compete with that. The first two pitches were awful, and then Up, who happened to be watching, said, "Pretend the ball is my face," and I chuckled, AND THEN I ACTUALLY HIT IT. HA. HAHAHA. I only got to first base, but it was worth it.

I guess that's about it. Good night, and olive you :)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Monday, May 23, 2011

Plot and Plan

I'm deeply chagrined that I forgot to mention what PPPP stood for--I kind of assumed you all remembered. It was last year, though, so it's understandable that you all forgot :) It stands for Perfect Petroleum Pipeline Picnic. At one point Silver added so many P's to it that it became the PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP (24 P's), but that takes too long to type, so PPPP it is.

HEY GUESS WHAT. GUESS. WHAT. GUESS WHO IS TAKING CREATIVE WRITING NEXT YEAR. I'm so excited :3 I was afraid I had heard wrong and Up was not, in fact, taking that elective, but he IS. That makes it so much more likely that we have the same semester/period! You know, as opposed to if he was not taking the class at all, in which case the chances would be very slim.

I still don't understand my science work in the slightest, which is a problem because I have a test on it on Thursday. Also, finals are coming up! My first final exams as a high schooler! I'm dreading them simply because they'll be unpleasant to take, but I'm not actually worried about getting a bad grade. Well, maybe in Latin--we'll see. I am determined not to stress over this. Got enough to worry about, anyway.

Now I'm off to plot and plan things. Hurrah!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

We were all crazy.

I admit I'm kind of disappointed the world didn't end yesterday. I was looking forward to not having to blog today. Oh well!

Yesterday was the PPPP, which was naturally an adventurous adventure, though we didn't have time to get lost (Silver's parents were picking her up at five). Lolo and I got their first, so we tried to open every door to the school in hopes that someone forgot to lock something. When Kim and Silver arrived, we had to trek past a baseball game; the parents there were giving us weird looks, haha. The grass was incredibly tall and in same cases thorny, which is naturally always a delight. My legs got kind of scratched up, but not nearly as bad as Lolo's or Silver's--Kim was the only one who wore jeans. She may not have gotten scratched by anything, but at least we weren't dying of heat exhaustion. We leapt across the stream and feasted in the tree of life--I had half a poptart--and played on a random playground we found by some random church. Then Kim and I got ice cream at the dollar store; I had to shove pretty much the entire thing into my mouth inside this tiny deli. Then I got orange juice, because I was thirsty as butts. We headed back, scurried past the church, and came once more across the stream. Kim, Lolo, and Silver all managed to get across this tiny, unstable log which stretched across it, but I wasn't about to do that, so instead I chucked my sneakers and ran across ^.^ It was worth it. When we finally arrived back at the school we lay in the grass and surveyed our wounds, then trekked to the side of the school to do a long jump and climb a tree. When I say 'climb a tree', I mean Kim, Lolo, and Silver climbed a tree and I got five feet of the ground before deciding that I was not meant to climb trees. Five minutes before our parents showed up I decided we should go say hi to Shoe, who lives right next to the school. She had some friends over too, so we conversed, and then my mom showed up. Such was the third PPPP :)

Woah, that was a long paragraph. Congratulations if you made it through without getting a headache! After that my day was uneventful; actually, I don't even remember what I did. Today was a bit different. In the morning, Dad and I watched Thor, which was decent, and then when we got home I buckled down to do homework. I hope that English packet goes to the darkest regions of hell and rots their for all eternity with vultures picking at its corners.

I also slightly worked on the world civ. project! Mostly to take a break from English and partially because I'd feel guilty of Sam and Megan did a lot of work and I didn't. I read up on Amnesty International and was impressed, to say the least. I'm always impressed by international law; that's probably why I joined Model UN. That, and Halden would haunt my unholy spirit if I didn't. She was crazy.

Weekends aren't long enough. Tomorrow, Lolo and I are going to finagle a conversation with Up in which I found out what elective he's taking next year; more specifically, if he's taking creative writing or not. I absolutely must know as soon as possible; the suspense is killing me. Seriously, I can handle crushing disappointment now, but not in three months when we get our schedules after I've built the idea up so much in my head. For the love of God, though, I hope he's in my class =.=

I suppose that's about it. Not a bad weekend, in hindsight. Now for the actual week...

Friday, May 20, 2011


This weekend will consist of:
  • A PPPP that was once a MCHACIIW that was once a PPPP.
  • A bitchin' English packet.
  • Not doing a world civ. project.
  • The end of the world.
Oh yeah, we all best be gettin' our rapturin' on for tomorrow. And our woodland adventures, and maybe (possibly) actually reading something. Definitely not doing homework: I save that for Sunday.

So I did not admit my olive for Up in the form of a hilarious joke, nor did we ride into the sunset on a stallion (or unicorn, as Natalie would suggest). But, you know, it's okay. If I wake up tomorrow morning and the world has been enveloped in fire and brimstone, I'll be sure to shoot him a message on Facebook or something.

In gym, the Gym Buddies and I discussed what we would do in a zombie apocalypse. I like the conversations I have with the Gym Buddies :) Anyway, I said I would try to stock up on medicines because once the world is good and over, medicine will be a hot commodity. Also, I'll be sure to get as far away from civilization as I can in as little time as possible: I don't want to be around crazy guys with guns who will shoot for a loaf of bread, or something. That would be a bad day. No, but I think I could survive the zombie apocalypse. You?

I feel like I have more to talk about today, but I really don't. Have a nice weekend! Olive you!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Gravy Train

I'm torn between my desire to blog, my desire to write, and my desire to do online stuff--because of my computer restrictions, I have to make this harrowing decision. Doesn't my life suck? No, I'm totally kidding. But it is annoying.

Since Saturday is the end of the world (and also MCHACIIW!), I'm trying to convince everyone that tomorrow is the time to tell their secret crushes that they're madly in love with them. So far no one is willing to join me. I have the perfect way of confessing my true feelings to Up, too.
 Up: ...who's there?
 Up: Olive who?
Then we run into each other's arms and ride into the sunset on a white stallion.

Today was unfortunately very long. Art was disheartening (apparently I'm very, very bad at drawing skeletons) and then in science I was on the verge of tears the entire class because I didn't understand the work. I get pretty upset when I don't understand things. Oh, and I got an 87 on the quiz we had yesterday, which is okay considering I only got 4 points off. Annoying, but okay. Oh, and I officially have a C in Latin! I guess it's sad that I'm excited about getting a C, and about getting an 87 on a unit test, but that actually brought my grade up over ten points. There is still hope!

I could jump on the deep-entries-about-memories gravy train, like Isaac and Natalie, but I won't. Partially because it's already 9 o'clock and I have to take a shower soon, and partially because even gravy gets kind of gross if you leave it out too long, and I don't have any mashed potatoes to go with it. Gravy without mashed potatoes is like meaningful entries without any real substance, planning, or most importantly, meaning. So enjoy my superficiality. I say enjoy it!

Oh, and today coming in from gym, Up totally asked if I would tell World Civ. Teacher that he was going to be in orchestra during class :D Except I didn't, because we were just watching a movie and I didn't think she was taking attendance, and now I feel like I've failed in my sacred duty, and yeah. I'm going to go bathe now. The week is almost over!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


I'm mildly depressed that my last entry, which consisted of da-woom-ah-wop and da-woom-ah-wop only, got more comments in a shorter time than the previous entry, which was bitchin' long and actually had content. BUT YOU KNOW, IT'S OKAY.

School started two hours and fifteen minutes later today because of some kind of exams, I think biology, so that was nice :) In the morning, Up asked me what time school started! Yes, I know it's sad that something like that makes me happy :) Oh, and when we got to school we had to go to the gym to wait for exams to finish, and Up came in like five minutes after us, and Happy got him to seat with us! IT WAS AWESOME. Except he mocked my humor (even though his own humor consists exclusively of sarcasm =.=) AND my grammar (I accidentally said 'me and Happy'). BUT YOU KNOW STILL.

Also, on the bus today, I learned that Jaryd's head is extraordinarily heavy.

On a final note (since I don't have much to talk about and I'm about to go watch Glee I'm about to go take a shower, haha), I have absolutely no idea what's going on in science and I have a test tomorrow, so damn. This is bad.

Monday, May 16, 2011


Da-woom-ah-wop, da-woom-ah-wop,
da-woom-ah-wop, da-woom-ah-wop
da-woom-ah-wop, da-woom-ah-wop
da-woom-ah-wop, da-woom-ah-wop.

Friday, May 13, 2011


Well, Blogger is a butt face. I had a nice long entry to write yesterday but it wouldn't let me, so I wrote it on Word instead! Hooray for being proactive, or whatever.

I was completely set not to go to school yesterday, simply because I was afraid of, I don’t know, walking out of gym without jeans on or something, but it actually wasn’t that bad. Well, it wasn’t good, but it was eventful, I suppose.

I am horrifically mad at myself. You have no idea. In world civ., Teacher started talking about the big final project for the last unit of the school year, 21st Century Issues, and all throughout class I was determined to be in Up’s group. This may seem out of character for the everlastingly shy, meek Strawberry, but I was resolute. I had the entire scene planned out in my head, even the part where I avoided Sam since she would inevitably ask me to be in her group. I’m sure if my plan had succeeded, I would be writing now so joyously that rainbows would shoot from your screens and impale you with happiness. Teacher tells us to get partners, and I stand up, suddenly unsure of what to do, and immediately Sam asks me to be in her group. And I kind of stare at her and say “Um.” I mean, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. Everything went blank. I went into shock-defense mode and started talking to Leo but I couldn’t even remember my purpose—to work with Up. He was sitting by himself, too. Sitting by himself. God, it would have been perfect. How easy would it have been to ask him right there and round up a group with him and Leo? But I froze. I actually forgot everything. It didn’t even occur to me. And then by the end of class he was in a group and I was stuck with Sam and Megan, who I barely know. I seriously don’t even want to do this project anymore. It isn’t worth it.

What I really need is a fantastic plan to somehow finagle myself out of Sam's group and possibly into something with Up, assuming he's not already in a group with three people, which means I'm screwed. Seriously, I am not ready to give up hope! Maybe I'll go to the class in third period and plead, beg, and grovel to put me in another group. THIS WILL WORK.

But also on this topic, I think I'm a coward. I figured if I could get into a conversation with Up I could tell him of my group woes and SOMEHOW SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN. Well, at least I would find out what group he planned to be in, to see if it had two or three people in it already. Anyway. Today in world civ. we took a South Africa test, and by the end of class everyone was out of their seats talking to people. So I was talking to Leo, when suddenly Up comes over and starts laughing about how the other day, someone wrote "penis" on one of the slides in our English teacher's daily presentation, and it took everyone a moment to realize it, and it was hysterical. And I didn't really say anything. I mean, I laughed and everything, but I totally did not accomplish my goal of bringing up the project. In my defense the bell rang before I could, but STILL. I'm weak. Also, in regards to the English thing, I am aware that freshman have the maturity of prepubescent apes, thank you :3

In other, less depressing news, the math and Latin tests I was so dreading weren’t as terrible as I’d imagined—actually, the math test was downright easy. Math Teacher seemed perturbed that I had finished so early (the first one done!), and I was perturbed that she looked over my test and knew the grade and yet I wouldn’t find out till a week from now, when she finally remembers to hand the tests back. She’s not very bright, Math Teacher. The Latin test wasn’t particularly easy, but it wasn’t ridiculously hard either, so I feel like I definitely pulled at least a B—at least, I hope. Latin Teacher grades slower than probably any other teacher I have, and it’s infuriating.

Speaking of Latin, though, the worst thing happened the other night. I remembered around 4 that we had online homework, except I couldn't remember my password and user-name for the site we were supposed to do the homework on, so I emailed her apologizing profusely for sending this so late and humbly requesting my password. Except I got the email address wrong, and the failure notice was sent to the spam bin, so I didn't see it till late that night. And this morning I immediately went to her to tell her of my woes, and she was completely unsympathetic. I mean, I realize that I made a mistake in forgetting to email her in the first place, but this was a twenty-point assignment which I have no chance of making up. It brought my grade down to a 64, which I have no chance of bringing up to a respectable number. Does she want people to fail her class, or is she just in a bad mood?

In happier news, yesterday in art I got to model! We've started drawing figures, and it's terrible. People are usually my best work, but it's so hard trying to fit an actual living person to a canon when the proportions don't fit at all. But modeling was fun! For one pose I had to hold my arm up, and after a couple minutes I seriously could not feel my arm at all. And almost everyone whose work I saw drew me with a really narrow waist and really wide hips. I admit that this is vaguely what I'm shaped like, but it was so exaggerated.

Finally, I got a 91 on the last science test! I suppose I should be happier about this than I am. I mean, I'm happy I got above a 90, which was my goal, but I still wish I could've done better.

Also, my parents' whole idea that I should only spend an hour on the computer so that I'll do my homework is miserably failing. I show up to English today and apparently we were supposed to read a packet and answer three questions. Luckily English Teacher didn't check it; we had an in-class discussion which I actually participated in! Oh, and Up made fun of my frequent use of ridiculous hand gestures. Hee.

I'm trying to get Happy to come over tomorrow to mow my lawn. I plan to pay her in brownies and five dollars :D Also, Happy and I are going to throw Jaryd a sweet sixteen! She's going to knit him a dog-shaped pillow that says 'I WUF YOU' and I'm going to get him a box of corn dogs. I kind of want to hang banners all over the school that say: JARYD'S BIRTHDAY. BE THERE OR BE SQUARE. JUNE TWENTIETH. Yeah, that would be epic.

That's all I can think of for now. I am forfeiting the last twenty minutes of my computer-time to go eat dinner. What a sad and lonely child I am.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

That's about it.

I find it ironic that the day my parents put restrictions on my computer time, because they want me to focus on homework, I don't actually have any homework. Well, technically I have Latin homework due on Friday, which I did half of, but that's it.

Also, I was mildly loopy in my last post. You may have noticed. I would talk about something that happened yesterday but I don't actually remember, because I have the memory of a squirrel. I wonder if the degeneration of my once excellent memory is due in part to the extensive amount of time I spend doing mindless tasks, such as watch TV or go on the computer. Probably.

Today I told someone to shut up! People always seem surprised when I "lash out" in class, since usually I don't say anything, and usually when I do say something it's so nice and obliging (ha ha). We were watched a movie and this guy behind me kept insulting one of the characters, so after awhile I turned around said said. "Mahir. Shut. Up." Yeah. This wasn't a particularly significant moment of the day, I suppose. But, you know.

I had lab today, which was lame, even though apparently in art we drew this annoying kid, so I guess I wasn't missing much :) Lab wasn't actually that bad. I took a science test yesterday which I just barely finished, and I really hope I get at least a 90. Yeah. Also, I have a Latin benchmark and a math quiz tomorrow morning, which is just lame =.=

So I guess that's about it. Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

So long.

I cannot for the life of me bring myself to enjoy reading Walden know that it has a giant yellow stain on it. Did I mention that the dog peed on it? While it was on the table? In a bag? Yeah. I am considerably less excited about reading it now.

Day was dull. I have seven minutes to write this so it won't be long. Now six. On the science chat I--excuse my language--told Up to shut the f*ck up and do [the science lab] his own God damn self. It was fun. He sent a lot of ........ and a crying face. Yeah. Also, I messed up the lab but didn't save it so I have to redo it tomorrow morning...blah. Three minutes now. I've been out of it all day. Probably elaborate tomorrow. So long.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Maybe I just won't.

I actually meant to blog yesterday, but I had a headache so that didn't happen. Not like I had much to blog about. Not like I have much to blog about now, but I wouldn't want to get into the habit of leaving my lovelies hanging for several days again. I did that before April, and it was lame, and now I'm not! Woo.

Yesterday was Mother's Day, of course, and I wrote my mom a poem. This one is better than the last two year's, but honestly I could write Roses are red, violets are blue, it's Mother's Day and here's a poem for you! and she'd be happy. Mothers like homemade things. Other than that I didn't really do much. Headache, you know.

Today in English, Teacher decided that we would work on our monster packet with people we've "never worked with before", which sucks. I was wondering if I'd possibly have the courage to ask Up, or if by some magic he'd ask me, when English Teacher instead decides to assign us partners. I actually prefer it when the teacher assigns partners because then I don't have to be all awkward when asking someone I'm not even friends with, but that's usually assuming I'm assigned with someone not atrocious. Okay, atrocious is a strong word--but seriously, I was partnered with Basil. Luck. It was awkward and we just stared at the paper and mumbled, and didn't get any work done, and Basil's friend from across the room thought it was hilarious. That was uncomfortable.

Of course the funny part came when Happy convinced English Teacher to tell me MY JOKE. Let me explain. My joke: I went camping last week. It was intense. GET IT? ISN'T IT HILARIOUS? Say it out loud, so you see the punny part. I have claimed it as my own, but Happy enjoys getting EVERYONE ELSE to steal MY JOKE. It is infuriating. And today, English Teacher came over and asked what I did for Mother's Day. I said, "Um...I wrote my mom a poem." And he said, "Oh, that's nice. Guess what I did with my mom? I went camping with her...It was intense."


Happy, of course, thought this was hilarious. I did not.

As far as the rest of the day, it was dull and I was tired. I have a science test tomorrow which I am not looking forward to at all, especially since my science test grades have been rapidly declining and now I probably won't even pass. I honestly don't know how I go from 105 to 87 to 80 within three tests, but if that curve continues I'll probably have around a 53 tomorrow. Also, I have absolutely no idea what we're doing anymore...

On an unrelated note, today in gym we did the 800-meter, and it actually wasn't that bad. I got 4:53 and wasn't completely dead by the end of it. Almost, but not completely.
I should be catching up on all the homework I didn't do over the weekend, but that would actually involve effort and focus, so maybe I just won't.

Saturday, May 7, 2011


I said I would post yesterday, but, you know, I didn't. I really like being able to not post and not have the world end in a pyre of BEDA flames. Baha, April was already a week ago, why am I still referring to it?

I'm about to thoroughly edit the story I've been working on, because instead of just reviewing the new couple pages I sent her, Silver had to go and write comments on the ENTIRE THING. So now I'm just...going through it. Yeah.

Today, after spending about an hour playing The Sims (because what else do I ever do over the weekend, seriously?), the mother and I went out and succeeded in not really doing anything. Well, we had Chipotle, which was as always fudging good, and then we went to Barnes and Noble where I bought Walden and The Catcher in the Rye. So far the latter is quite enjoyable, which is always a good thing (obviously). Also, I made Jello.

As for yesterday, the silence thing was more or less a success, depending on which reason I'm using for why I did it in the first place. I succeeded in making ridiculous hand motions and for the most part, not talking. I did speak twice, though: once when I left my hoodie in my English class and didn't see the point of making said ridiculous hand motions, and another when someone asked what I got on the science test and I, in a state of extreme emotional anguish (I got an 80) forgot my quest and answered verbally.

As for why I did it, what I told people in English (where the teacher called me and the class spent the ensuing five/ten minutes talking about why I wasn't talking--thank God Up wasn't there) was that I just felt like it. If I was talking to someone who I didn't want to think I was insane, I said (well, not said said) I had a sore throat. I suppose if I truly had succeeded, I wouldn't have lied to anyone. Oh well. These things take practice. Shari was perpetually annoyed at me for not speaking, which I admit I took the slightest bit of offense to, which wasn't fair of me because she didn't really know why I was doing it.

I was rebelling against my own voice. I was attempting to subdue the part of me that cannot keep my damn mouth shut, that doesn't think before I speak, that forgets where I am and who I'm with and barges on with full, obnoxious force. That being said it wasn't a huge success, because what I lost in flamboyant speaking I made up for in flamboyant gestures and things which could vaguely be passed for interpretive dance. Like I said, these things take practice.

Now I'm off to revise my story! Woo, 16 whole pages of criticism. SO EXCITED.

Thursday, May 5, 2011


  • First and foremost I have taken a vow of silence for tomorrow between the times of 8:15 and 3:20. There are reasons for this I don't feel like getting in to, but will most likely describe in tomorrow's post.
  • Secondly, I spent thirty minutes at Barnes and Noble and didn't buy anything =.= My to-buy list includes: The Catcher in the Rye, Candide, Republic, and Walden and Civil Disobedience. I am attempting to become enthused about reading again--a daunting task, no doubt--and simultaneously become better read. Some books I have to read out of the principle of considering myself an intellectual.
  • Today in English, Basil decided to impart half his life story on us, which I found both amusing and vindicating. Also in English, we somehow went from a discussion on the differences between boys and girls, which I was just prepared to impart my vast wisdom on, to a discussion on what made boys and girls popular, to just popularity in general. That's when I gave up trying to participate and just thought about clothes.
  • I really want to read Walden and Civil Disobedience. In fact I'd almost say I'm excited about reading it.
  • I must now take a shower and go to bed. Au revoir, mon amis!

Monday, May 2, 2011

666 :)

It was already three minutes after the bell had rung, and I rushed to science with darkness in my heart. The other people in my art class had shamelessly abandoned me while I frenziedly rushed to clean up all of the art supplies, even the ones I wasn't using. I had already nearly had a nervous breakdown because Stupid Art Teacher messed up my precious, precious paining which I had worked hours on, and they dare just leave me there? That's when I saw him. He stood at the end of the hall, permeating shadow, hands clasped and lips curling into a dark smile. I slowed my frantic pace. Could it be?

Other students did not seem to see him there; they strolled right past, blind to the darkness in their midst. I knew he was there for me. My wish for vengeance, the darkness in my own heart, had called to him. I knew I should've ignored his presence, but the pull was too strong. I was so angry at the world, so hurt and alone, that right at that moment I would sell my soul to the devil.

As I approached him, time seemed to slow. He smiled at me cruelly, maliciously; I knew I couldn't trust him but I thought it didn't matter. He spoke. "Strawberry," he said, "I have watched you day by day. I see your every want and fear, every frustration, every bitter resentment--and I offer you salvation."

I spoke before I could stop myself. "Why should I believe you?"

He held out his hands and all but shrugged, as if acknowledging his own deceit. "I believe we can help each other."

A pause. The hallway was dead silent; outside the sun beckoned, but its light did not seem to reach us. Finally I spoke. "What do you offer?"

He did not hesitate. "I will take away all of your troubles. I will make you a star student, a star athlete; I will make you beautiful beyond measure. Your secret dreams of political prominence will all come true." He laughed. "Any politician in the world will listen to you after they know you're on my side. Strawberry, the life you've always wanted can be yours--if you but do one small favor for me."

He waited for me to ask what it was, as I waited for him to tell me. I refused to speak first. I could not seem to eager; I kept my hands steady and my face impassive. After a long pause he became tired of the silence, and told me his condition. "All of this can be yours, if you but buy more fish to put in your fish tank."

I stared at him, disbelieving. "You want me fish?"

He nodded solmenly. "You've killed six so far. As everyone knows, I own the souls of fish, and your terrible ownership has practically kept me in business. But you have not bought new fish for many weeks, and I fear you never will again. Think of it, my dear--the perfect life, if you but continue to massacre every fish that passes the threshold of your house."

I turned away. I could not bear the thought--to murder innocent fish just for my own gain? Besides, he was the devil. What would he do when he found out I already sold my soul to the makers of Mountain Dew? I could not go through with it. He must have sensed my resolve, for it suddenly became very hot.

"Everything you've ever wanted! I do not ask much; no, I ask a trifle. Will you still not comply?" Flames rose up from his feet, but I was sure he could not hurt me, for I had not been tempted into evil. "This mistake will cost you. Rest assured, I will not forgive this insult--the impudence! The impenitence! You will suffer endlessly for your transgression!"

I simply looked away, and he rose in anger and threats until with a burst of fire he vanished into smoke. I was left alone in an empty hallway, with nothing but a charred circle on the floor as a reminder of what just happened.

Numbly, I made my way to my science class. I had been tempted by the devil, but overcame. And just to spite him, I thought, as I sat in my seat amongst the innocent hum of my fellow classmates, I thought I would buy more fish, except keep them alive this time. And to add insult to injury, I would name the orange two Saruman and Scar, some of the most evil and badass villians ever to grace a screen, and the striped one Hades. Because I'm cool like that.


Sunday, May 1, 2011

Sometimes I think I'm happy here.

I don't actually need to blog today, but I felt so lost and empty not doing it :)

[Every Day is Exactly the Same--Nine Inch Nails]

Today was a long, slow day. I literally spent the entire day doing homework, specifically my science lab which ended up being about ten pages long. The background section, which is usually the longest section, was mercifully short on this one, and yet it still took me a concentrated five hours. Also, I didn't finish my art project, so no picture today :( I'll take one tomorrow if I can. I assume I'll finish in class, or if I really wanted to, in lunch. Honestly, after starting the lab at 11 and finishing at 7:30--including breaks, of course, or else I'd be insane--I just did not want to spend any more time doing work.

Other than that, of course, my day was boring. I wrote a bit! Haha, I wrote like three pages yesterday and sent it to Silver, and she really liked it! That made me happy :) I'll post part of it here just for the sake of filling space, since I don't have anything else to talk about.

The smell of old books lingered on my clothes. It was not the clean-dust smell of fresh pages, which was intoxicating, but rather musty and sour, the smell of abandonment. I had spent the last hour delving into the hidden catacombs of the back corner of the library, immersed in books untouched for years. I particularly enjoyed the foreign language section, in which I tried to pronounce Yiddish and French and laughed silently to myself.
Now the cool air felt unnatural, and the sunlight blinded me. I preferred the solitude. I could feel the cold metal bench through my jeans, and my bare hands shivered in the breeze, which smelled of the past winter. The temperature had dropped dramatically since I was last outside. I hugged my sweatshirt around me and watched the dark blue tint of the eastern horizon expand. It would be a matter of minutes now, it had to be, before my mom picked me up. The library closed fifteen minutes ago. I watched the workers file out one by one, till only a few were left. Library workers did not like to stay late, I imagined.
Any minute, now. I had called twenty minutes ago. I tapped my foot on the ground, but that got old fast, so I cracked each finger one by one, then counted the flowers in the yard in front of the library. I texted my mom again, and in two minutes she texted back Hold your horses, and I sighed. The day was slipping into evening, and it was cold, and I was alone.
Suddenly, though, I felt a presence next to me—directly next to me. Someone had sat no more than three inches away from on the bench—the nice, long bench, and even another one right across it. My fingers trembled. Do I turn and tell them off? What if it was some old lady? What if I was about to be killed? I turned slowly.
All I could see for a moment was pale brown eyes, like dirt. Then the rest of his face came into focus. His face was a good distance away from me, but his eyes were arresting—large and gleaming and almost silvery, yet brown like the earth. He was smiling slightly, or scowling, and staring at me as if he knew me to the core. He had a generally handsome face—not outstanding by obvious—like a prince, and feathery tawny hair a degree golder than his eyes. All this I noticed in a second; the moment I turned he began to speak.
“Hello, Enna.” He smiled more broadly now, more cordially. “I seem to have startled you.”
I had been gaping open-mouthed at him, and at his mention shut the orifice quickly. The breeze picked up and blew our hair into our face; we ducked and brushed it out almost in unison. He peered at me and smiled genuinely.
I coughed. “I’m sorry. How do you know my name?”
Though I didn’t like to admit it, I was equal parts comforted and frightened by the fact that he was a young, attractive male, and not seem creepy old guy. Not that it mattered. I hadn’t exactly dressed to impress, going to the library. His smiled faded.
“I’m sorry, Enna.” He said my name again, like he was testing it out. Seeing how I reacted. He couldn’t have been used to saying it. Normal people in normal situations didn’t tack people’s names on to every sentence. “Your mother isn’t coming to pick you up.”
“What do you mean?” I started to get nervous now. “She just—”
“You’re not meant to go home tonight.” He glanced behind me, glanced at the sky behind me, and I was too shocked to follow his gaze. My hair blew almost into his face. “Your mother has already forgotten.”
“What?” I leapt up, leapt away from him—he jumped up as well, and held me by the wrists. I screamed. “Let go of me! Where is my mom? Where is—?”
He jerked me around, so I would face the east—and I saw with horror the massive storm growing in the horizon. But it was not at the horizon, it was right before us, growling and crackling with lightning, twisting and breaking apart and being thrown back together. It encompassed the entire sky and air and everything except this little porch outside the library and this guy and me; it hissed like a live thing, hissed a word, hissed my name…
The guy threw his arms around me and yelled some words I couldn’t recognize and threw me to the ground—with a loud crack I fell from his grip, and watched the world twist before realizing that I was not at the library anymore.
Everything was quiet.
The guy appeared behind me and offered me a hand—I was kneeling on the ground, gazing blankly at the world all around me, spinning so greatly it was unrecognizable. I was going to throw up, but I hadn’t eaten in hours, and collapsed on the rough ground in a fit of dry heaves. His hand was on my shoulder, and there were more voices now, like thunder in the tumult of my head.
“Is that her?” It was repeated over and over again. “Is that her? Is that her?”
No, I thought, this couldn’t be me. I was not here. I was at the library waiting for my mom, with a clear sky and a breezy day and a cold bench, and an empty building behind me. I was not wherever this was, wherever this girl was. I was not her.
The guy’s hand disappeared and I thought through the haze that he was standing up. “Go back to your rooms. You’ll overwhelm her.”
I thought they might be drifting back; the world stopped spinning and I began to see clearly. He definitely stood over me, and there were definitely more people in the room—the very large, pale room which I know found myself in. He looked down on me and his mouth moved, into a smile or a frown I couldn’t tell. I could’ve been looking through cotton, for all I could see. But it was clearing up, and when he bent down and pressed his fingers to my neck, just before the world went black I thought I could see the color of his eyes.

So! What do you think?