Saturday, January 1, 2011


Is not as exciting as 11-11-11, at 11:11, in which the most epic wish ever will be made. I have not yet decided what that wish will be, but when I do, it'll be epic. Ten months and ten days to go, eh?
I did not, in fact, finish my science lab. Probably because I was unable to focus on it for more than two minutes at a time. Whatever. I will definitely  most likely probably perhaps positively without doubt absolutely not not not not not finish it tomorrow! Woo.
So, I think my problem with writing stories is my fear of making a good first impression. Or not even that, but what I'm known for as a writer. Or rather, I'm just a damn perfectionist who is trying to do something beyond my ability. Something like that. I mean, I look at all the books in the teens' section and it just depresses me how pitifully contrived, unoriginal, and worst of all, poorly written they are. And I think to myself, I have to be better than that. And I always somehow get it into my head that every story I write is just not good enough to stand out from that pathetic crowd.
Or, you know, I just get bored with it really fast because I have the attention span of a fish.
So I think my "liking" other people is not so much me liking them, but wanting them to like me. Otherwise it wouldn't make any damn sense half the people I "like." They pose a challenge. Or, rather, they feed into my self-conscious belief that I'm not worth anybodies consideration, and deserve not to be 'liked'. Or, nobody likes me, so it just seems like I only like people who never will.
That was a self-deprecating paragraph. Forgive me, O loyal readers.
Because I know there are so many of you.
I really don't know what I'm talking about anymore. I've been rambling about nonsense this entire post.
I came to realize a long time ago that most people aren't even worth saving, so when I eventually make the world a better place, it will be for me. Because hardly anyone else deserves what I could envision for them.
You see, I wish he knew me better...because we could be PERFECT together.
It would probably be better for everyone involved if no one read this entry...
To distract you from my scatter-brainedness, I present to you, a picture I hold with special regard:
Yeah. I couldn't find another picture.
My phone isn't charging even though it's plugged in. I'm off to go write something trippy.

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