Friday, May 21, 2010

Dear Diary, [2/20/08]

I am so pathetically pitiful. I hate that fact that I like Basil. I have to keep pushing back my feelings for him. It will never happen. Why does he have to be so darn interesting?! And perfect?! And infuriating?! Aghhhhh!!!!
Oh my God. What if he knows?!
What if he already does?!
What in all of heaven did I do to deserve this awful fate?!
Awful, you ask? Well, somebody thought it would be funny to put these completely gorgeous, adorable, or all of the above, guys dangling right in front of me but just out of my reach! Aghhhhhhhh!!!!
I don't know why I fight it. I give up. And I wish so much that I could read minds.
Strawberry Shortcake

Dear diary, [2/26/08]
Friday- Snow day! Played with Vera almost all day! Vera goes ballistic (more later)
Still liked Basil.
Saturday- snow melting quickly, still played with Vera.
Sunday- snow almost gone, minimal Vera-time
Monday- school. Still like Basil.
Today- wonders what wedding would be like if Basil and moi ever got married. quickly banishes thought to deepest, darkest pits of Hades
still like Basil
- - -
Ani's been absent lately. Oh no!
I still like Basil. What's wrong with me?!?!
Changed seats in math yesterday. Not happy. No longer across from Basil.
Basil more gorgeous than ever.
Au revoir.
Strawberry Shortcake

Did I make you throw up? Because I made me throw up. These were both in sixth grade. Back when I liked both Basil and Moo, I was in love with drama, and I might've been the stupidest kid ever to walk the Earth. Oh, and my writing wasn't very good. Of course, I was rushing on the last one...
LA today was hell. I swear, hate-waves emanate off that boy more than...well...anything. It gets worse every day. Honestly, it pisses me off. He just bothers me. I really can't think of any other way to describe it. I think this may be an entirely new feeling--not hate, nothing even CLOSE to like, just bother.
I also didn't present, which bothers me anymore.
Au revoir.


  1. you NEED to move on. Trust me, i mean this in the nicest way. you haven't really gotten over a boy until his very presence doesn't faze you. Being annoyed is a way of saying... your still there, i want to move on...but i can't forget that i ever had feelings for u. Now that u dislike him, its like saying "I hate that your here...i don't want to be reminded of my past". Sorry if i sound like i'm ranting, i just have nothing better to do.

  2. I can't forget what he meant to me...that's not how I classify not liking him anymore. I mean, I hate to use such a dramatic expression, but imagine if someone stabbed you in the heart. You might heal from it, but the scar would always be there. It's like that with everyone, not just him. People I'm friends with. Even if I get into a huge fight with them and never speak to them again, I'll always notice their presence because they made a deep impression on me. I'll always think, "They used to be my friend," or "I really, REALLY don't like them." Always.

  3. Why don't I know when you post anymore? This is odd. It's not updating me for whatever reason. :/

    My former best guy friend/friend for two years molds me like clay and uses me. I dislike it, but I still love him, and love talking to him. Does that make me sick? I mean, other guys have caught my eye, but I dunno, as stupid as it sounds, he was my first love.

  4. wow. sorry, thats the only word that came to mind after reading that.

    extem. like extend, but not.

  5. you need to be confident and just say,"he was my past, this is now" You'll never be over him until you can except your past always being there.