...is what I'm debating to post.
Last night there was a spider. In my room. On my wall. Behind my printer. As we all know, I am deathly afraid of spiders. I didn't realize it was so bad again until last night...I mean, after all, I was standing over it with a bottle of Off! and a tissue box screaming "DIE! DIE! WHY WON'T YOU DIE??!?!?!?!?!!?1" and hyperventilating.
Yeah, yeah, spiders are good, all life is important, blah blah blah. When there is a spider in my room, I really don't give a damn. If it's outside, I won't try to kill it. I'll just run away, perhaps screaming like a little girl. If it's in the house, I'll kill it. If it's in my ROOM...oh no. I will f*cking burn off its skin with bug spray, I will. Oh, and I realize spiders don't have skin. You should've told that to me last night, when I was equipped with several spider torture instruments, a pencil, and a notebook. Never good things for me to have.
I have about four pages of impossible-to-read scrawl (which I believe would be excellent for a handwriting analysis class, haha) with a lot of grammar mistakes (no spelling mistakes, though. oh no.) and a LOT of swearing. I'm a right potty mouth when I'm scared. Haha I just said "right." Wtf? I don't say that! AHH WHY WON'T MY DAD EFFING COME HOME OH MY GOD WHY WON'T IT DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
In case you were wondering what I wrote.
It's pretty terrible.
It also highly suggested I'm insane.
YOU WANNA READ ABOUT MY ADVENTURES WITH THE SPIDER??
When big scary bugs come in my room.. I grab the nearest magazine, drop it on top of it, and run away. The magazine remains in that spot until I forget why its there, lift it up, and either A) see a smashed spider/bug, which is bad enough, but not as ominous as lifting it up and seeing B) nothing there. And the cycle begins again O:
ReplyDeleteSeriously, kiddo, see a spider in your room (or anywhere in the house....) grab one of the multitude of scrap papers lying around up there, roll it up, and turn it into spider pate. Then scoop it up and throw it in the trash. It won't hurt you.
ReplyDelete