A note...

Firstly, 'The Craft' is kind of a freaky movie. Just sayin'.

Secondly, I would like to say something to "Nora". I put her name in quotation marks because, since she didn't put a link and presumably is just an account, I really have no idea who she is. I don't know why she commented on my blog in the first place, or why she got so upset about my entry. I don't even know if she'll be reading this, because I presume she doesn't read my blog on a daily basis. Actually, given the nature of her comment, I presume she just happened across my entry and decided to get huffy about it.

Here is her comment, word for word:

i dont like it, either. and btw, most of people dont push their religions. this could be considered offensive. lucky you, i dont take offense. of anything, actually. so if i were the kind of person that did, you would really bother me.

In case you were wondering, the 'i dont like it, either', besides the result of being physically unable to press the apostrophe button (it's right next to enter, in case you were wondering, Nora), AND being physically unable to capitalize letters, even though I'm sure we learned this in, what, first grade? Hell, man, I'm not one to hate on grammar on the Internet. I know it's difficult for some people. Anyway, the 'i dont like it, either' was because, at the end of my post, I wrote 'I don't like this post at all.' Just in case you didn't read it.

Okay.

Nora, honey, I'm a little confused. Actually, I'm very confused. I'm also a little flattered. You clearly care enough about your own opinion that you felt the need to comment on my entry. I applaud you! Some people, when they see something they don't like, would just ignore it and move on. Not you! You take the time and effort to share your opinion on my entry with the world--frankly, I'm touched that you would. The world needs more people like you! People who aren't afraid to state their opinion! People who speak in clear, non-sarcastic sentences! People who know EXACTLY what they're talking about! Heaven knows I'm not like that. Why, this paragraph alone is brimming with enough sarcasm that, if solidified, would possess enough venom to kill a large dog!

Anyway.

Back to my first point--I'm confused. Congratulations. I'm not often confused. I like to pride myself on being a very quick-to-understand person. It speaks volumes for you that you managed to confuse me so thoroughly. Can you guess why, Nora, honey? Oh, I'm sure you can...Let me show you.

i dont like it, either. and btw, most of people dont push their religions. this could be considered offensive. lucky you, i dont take offense. of anything, actually. so if i were the kind of person that did, you would really bother me.

OH MY GOD WAS THAT SARCASM! WAS IT??? COULD IT BE??? OH, NORA, WHY?!?!

Oh, come on, Nora. I get it. You don't agree with me. You think I'm some kind of blasphemous self-righteous dog. But I THOUGHT...oh, I must have been mistaken. You see, I began reading your comment and thought: Well! I sure am glad she doesn't take offense to me! I sure am lucky! Why, she even says I'm lucky! Oh, I sure am lucky she's NOT the kind of person who is offended easily! BOY AM I!

But then, alas, I realized I was not so lucky after all. Because it appears you employed a useful little tool called sarcasm--a tool that, used in the wrong hands, can sound quite pissy and stupid. Not that you do, Nora. You don't sound stupid at all. That's not even sarcasm, there. You just sound like you think I'm some kind of blasphemous self-righteous dog and EVEN THOUGH you did not have anything to do with me and you never had to worry your pretty little head (see? I'm even assuming you're pretty. You sound like you would be. Are you, Nora, honey?) about ever again, you decided to announce your rather low opinion of me to the entire world. Or anyone who reads my blog, or simply stumbles across it like I'm sure you did.

Congratulations, hun, you made me use the phrase 'blasphemous self-righteous dog' TWICE in the same paragraph. That there's an accomplishment.

But let me get to the heart of the argument; the real reason I'm upset. Oh, didn't you know I was upset? YOU HURT MY FEELINGS NOOOOOOO! *cough* Anyway. Now, keep in mind that when I say 'you' I mean you in general, not you in particular. I'm upset because, personally, I could give a flying fillip about your beliefs or your religion or ANYTHING that even REMOTELY pertains to you. I really don't care if you worship, oh, say, yourself--because, honestly, I believe that all religions should be able to coincide peacefully. Now, if I were trying to push my religion on people, how could I POSSIBLY say that? If I wanted everyone to convert to say, oh, Strawberrynism, how could I bring myself to say that I wanted all the religions to live peacefully?

Furthermore, I never once said I wanted people to believe the same things I did. I never implied it. I never hinted at it, I never suggested it, I never freaking inferred it at all. I'm terribly sorry that that's the impression you got. I'm also terribly sorry that you got so worked up about it that you simply HAD to comment, even though you could not possibly gain anything from it. Nora, honey, WHY? If I wanted to push my beliefs on people, wouldn't I say so? Wouldn't I tell them their beliefs were wrong and try to convince them that my way was right? Hun, if I want to post...oh, say, my beliefs on my blog, then I kind of think I have a right. No? Am I mistaken? Am I automatically pushing beliefs on people if I post about them at all, just like people with disabilities are automatically asking for sympathy if they post about their disability? Nora, REREAD MY ENTRY AND TELL ME EXACTLY WHERE I TRIED TO PUSH BELIEFS ON YOU!

Oh, Nora Nora Nora...

In case you're wondering why I take such offense to this--and oh, yes, I do take offense to this. Very much so. I'm very offended. I won't even hide it with sarcasm. Anyway, in case you're wondering why I'm making such a big deal out of this, it's because......well.....

Honey, you're more accomplished than I thought. I'm proud of you, really. You are my very first EVER hater. Why, I'm so excited, I could weep. You're the first person to ever leave a truly negative, unfriendly, and unnecessary comment on my blog. Actually, I think you're the first person who has ever commented that obviously disliked me. I can't just let this moment go by. I have to make a big deal out of it. I HAVE to. It's part of who I am. Oh, but, I'm not trying to push the philosophy of making a big deal out of everything to you...not at all.

Oh, Nora.....how I wish to God that you read this and actually post a comment saying how offended you are. Oh, but no, I'm pushing my beliefs on you, aren't I??? NO!