Thursday, April 14, 2011

Give me back myself.

Basil apologized to me today. I feel like I should just get that out of the way. After English, I was walking out with Lolo and Happy, and he was behind me--and apologized. If I recall, he said something along the lines of, "I'm sorry for being an asshole in middle school." This was me: :| So I said something like "Okay" and went to my next class with a strange smile on my face.

I've avoided talking about Basil, because even though I have plenty to say about him, I simply don't want to. I don't want to open the floodgates, I don't want to think about him, and I definitely don't want anyone to think I still care. I don't care. It doesn't hurt anymore. I've never wanted to reopen that wound, never wanted to confront him in a dramatic display of pent-up emotions and brazen accusations that he is, in fact, an asshole--because it's over. There's no point anymore. I've accepted this for what it was and moved on, without closure; I don't need closure for something like this. But honestly, even though there was no chance he was sincere and someone probably told him to do it (someone with a heart...) I'm still glad he did it. Even though he didn't mean it, the words came out. I don't know how much this actually means to me, because I've already closed that door, but I guess it's the closest to "closure" I'll ever get. I'm glad he did it.

{If any newer readers are wondering who the hell Basil is, read any of my entries up to about April, 2010}

Well! As for the rest of the day, I can't say much. Gym Teacher wasn't in gym today, so we actually got away with not doing anything without being yelled at and degraded. Naturally this makes any gym class better (although it still sucked). I completely bombed a Latin quiz today, and I can only hope she gives me partial credit--seriously, I was pathetically wrong. I actually got the words (swift and easy, which we were supposed to decline) kind of right, but still wrong. Very wrong.

I actually resisted the tempation to cheat, and I feel like I should be more proud of myself than I am. See, I knew my Latin book was in my locker, so conceivably I could ask to go to the bathroom and instead go to my locker and check the words, since I honestly had no idea what they were. I resisted, though, and failed the test. I suppose I should admire my own honesty, but I probably won't when she updates my grade and I have a D...

I took the The Odyssey test, and it was ridiculously easy--pathetically easy--really. I could easily imagine getting 100 on this, or at least somewhere in the 90s. Of course, once one factors in the open-ended questions which we were supposed to do at home, that grade might be lowered a bit...neh. I'm so glad Spring Break is next week, so I don't have to worry about this stuff.

But since I am worrying about it, I should say that I think I did alright on the science test. I still have no idea what I'm doing, but there were no ridiculously difficult problems or anything. Overall I could easily see getting another good grade on this, but I won't get ahead of myself :) I have a deep, innate fear that if I ever become cocky about my grades, they are going to immediately slip into the nether regions of faildom (and I will only have myself to blame.)

Tomorrow is 'Culture Day' or some other innane nonsense...but the schedule is all messed up, which is a good thing. Periods 1, 2, 7, and 8 are an hour long, which is good because art is an hour but bad because math, Latin, and science are all an hour too...but the rest of the classes are 25 minutes or something, and we're not doing anything, anyway. Shari is joining my English class tomorrow for a rousing game of guess-the-word (because I forget what it's actually called). At some point we're going down to the gym and experiencing the diversity and cultureness and stuff of our school, which really means we're going to the gym to watch a bunch of people from the different 'culture clubs' flop around in 'traditional' (read: makeshift) garb and bask in their own awesome culture pride. I suggest we make an 'American Culture' club to be included in this diversity-fest. We can get a bunch of the kids who smoke in the parking lot to dance like a ho gangsta dumbass 'hip-hop artist' and sell day-old McDonald's food on the side. Maybe we'll even give out free 'my-country-sucks-ass-but-I-still-think-I'm-better-than-everyone-else' brochures. It will be magical.

Also, on a final note, I was forced to speak in world civ. and it was awful. Just awful. Words fell from my mouth like a soggy, dead squirrel falls limp on the ground in front of screaming children. Participation is for people who aren't smart enough to read minds, yeah. Certainly I had plenty of eloquent thoughts.

And I suppose that's all. I sincerely wish there was no school tomorrow, but I don't really mind, not really.


  1. wow! he should have done it two weeks ago. i'm still an asshole.


    Good luck on everything and I would write more on the matter of Basil but it's 10:00 at night and I'm super tired.

    Take care, m'dear.

  3. I know some of the Basil back story, but not all of it. It's a nice sentiment that he apologized though, I suppose. Seems a bit late, but better late than never I guess!

    It's disappointing when you have to choose being morally good but failing over being bad and getting a good grade. :P

    ANYYYWAAAYYYY yay for almost spring break!