Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Strangers in an empty room.

Hey! If I only wrote about what happened today this would not be a long entry at all. So INSTEAD I'll talk about what I think of each class, as if you haven't all heard it a million times before :D

The day starts off with a rousing six minutes dedicated to the salute of our dear flag and pissing me off. My homeroom is not a good start to any day; the only good homeroom is a homeroom I miss. As my friend selection is limited, I tend to have classes where I don't get along with anyone, and homeroom is the perfect example. Seriously, I don't know any of these people. The people around me are that special breed of popular which have bonded together through sports, and spend the entire six minutes talking about lacrosse, other people who play sports, or their friends who I've never heard of before. I used to sit on their circle, but have since moved to the row closest to the wall that no one sits in. Around them are people I barely know the name of, who I don't talk to and have nothing to do with, like a fuzzy gathering of vagueness on the outskirts of my vision. Among them is Best, who would be something like a condolence if I actually talked to him outside of the art room and our brief meetings in the hall.
Homeroom honestly makes me feel like a loser. I am out of place, alone, and discarded--I have nothing to do with anything and nothing has anything to do with me. I respond to nothing and prefer staring straight ahead, at the uneven bottom row of bricks in the wall across from me, then paying attention to the unfamiliar faces all around me.

And then, once I get away from homeroom, it's right on to math. I don't mind the class so much because it's easy and I'm not required to say anything--just sit there and doodle and do homework and finish math problems five minutes before the teacher. The teacher is an older lady who has the shape of a fallen log and a sense of style to match, but I can't help but feel bad for her--she makes a lot of mistakes but I've never gotten the sense that she was a mean person. It helps that I really, really enjoy math. I love math because it's all so exact. There is one answer--well, sometimes two--and no "almost." Math isn't up to interpretation. Math is finite, and all the numbers fit together so well. I absolurely adore algebra. Also, in sixth grade I figured out this cool thing with squares, so that has always made me happy :) Basically, the square of a number minus the square of a number one less than that is the same as those two numbers added together. IT'S FREAKING AWESOME. And I recently realized that, for example, the square of a number minus the square of a number two apart from that is equal to TWICE the two numbers added. Yeah!

So math isn't that bad. Shari is in my class, but she's on the other side of the room and I never get to talk to her. Then on to Latin. I believe I've said this before, but Latin is absolutely my least favorite class. I walk there with Izzy, who I do not like and who does not like me, but walking together is better than walking alone--also, it's kind of a tradition by this point. When I get there I sit down, shut up, and shut off for the next 44 minutes. I am eternally frustrated by my inability to remember any vocab at all, which absolutely kills my grade, but admittedly for most of the class I just doodle and stare out the window. Due to a recent seat change I am now surrounded by guys who I will never and never wish to talk to. I don't participate. I am bored out of my mind, and I swear the clock goes slower in Latin than in any other class. There is always fifteen minutes left in class no matter how long I've been there--and no, the clock is not broken, thank you =.=

Once I shuffle out of Latin I'm on to lunch, which I consider the true start of my day. I get to sit down with Shari for forty minutes and mentally prepare for the next five classes, and more importantly, catch up on science homework that I neglected to do the night before :) Occasionally we get cabottle, also known as Flav, and most of the time Em joins us. Some of the time, Silver skips math class and joins us, too! It's honestly more of a relaxing period than anything else, and puts a fantastic buffer between the classes I derive some small enjoyment from, and the first two classes of the day. Too bad I won't be having it next year :(

Lunch is over all too quickly and I am whisked away to gym, to bemoan whatever cruel fate is in store for us that day with the Gym Buddies--Kristin, Blondie, Asian, and Not-Asian--and bemoan that I have once more forgotten to bring a hair band. Lately we've been going outside for gym, which has added a whole new level to our constant complaining, cheerful encouragement, and overall misery. I find that I am very bad at mantaining conversation which aren't incredibly awkward in gym--today alone I talked about how I had no friends in elementary/early sixth grade, and the time I flipped over on a pipe while trying to cross a stream. So much fun.

After gym I rush to meet Silver in the halls, and we walk down together in the same general direction before separating at the middle B-wing stairs. I know that means nothing to you people, but the distance is two hallways, if that clears anything up. And so I enter English, always with high expectations and yet often disappointed. I enjoy English because it is a small class--fourteen people!--the work is easy, and the teacher is cool--also, you know, the whole writing thing :) Lately we haven't been doing anything particularly extravagant, but sometimes the class if just really fun. There's a kid who sits next to me, Berlin, who insists that I stole his idea for an essay on which I got a 94 and he got an 83--and, you know, I kind of did :) KIND OF. He convinced me that his argument was better and I decided to use it, and here we are. That was like a month ago, though, and he still hasn't dropped it ^.^
I find in English that, especially in the beginning and end of class when the atmosphere is less academic, I put on a show. Actually, I do this a lot when I'm with my friends, but I notice it in particular in English class. I talk to my friends as if I want other people to hear me, even though it's not like they'd be particularly enamored if they did--because half the things I saw to my friends is in an obnoxiously high-pitched voice or just a flat-out squeal. I don't know why anymore.

I find I try to beat Up to world civ.--a race only I know about. And sometimes I do. And sometimes I end up walking right next to him or behind him, since we both go the same way. World civ. is a class I should enjoy but I don't; I am continually dead bored and uninterested in eveything that's going on. There are plenty of loud, opinionated people in our class, and I suppose I feel out of place because I am opinionated but certainly not loud. It helps that I really don't have any friends in that class: I have Sam, who I don't really like but am great and pretending to be friends with, and I have Leo, who is familiar to me only as an art buddy, although at the very least I feel more comfortable talking to him in world civ. I find I like the teacher--most consider her dry and boring, but she obviously has a sense of humor and knows what she's talking about. I just wish she would assign groups more =.=

Going to art after civ. is like a beacon of light after, you know, darkness. Or, a fun and easy class after a boring class. I'm never focused on art (which is bad, because our current project is due on Friday!) and tend to spend most of my time messing around with Shari, Best, and Forever, throughout which I become quite high-pitched--don't ask me why my voice changes, because I don't know--and sometimes I actually sit in my sit and talk to Leo and Ginger, and do art. Two months left in the school year and all I have learned, I have learned through practice, luck, or watching Shari. Art Teacher is useless. I like art on principle, but my own lack of motivation to excel, and the fact that I am not particularly skilled in this venue of art, makes actually doing the work more tedious than I can handle for 44 whole minutes.

Today I had lab, which I believe I've expressed my opinions on very often :) Basically, as a refresher, I hate lab. I dislike science, but lab is simply awful--lab reports rip my soul through my fingers, the labs themselves are usually boring, and since I don't have any friends in my science class I have to tag on to the same group every time, who I can not for the life of me carry a conversation with. Today's lab was actually quite fun, because we went outside in the beautiful weather and shot water balloons with a giant slingshot, although I did get a slight sunburn :) I managed to get the job that put me as far away as possible from everyone else, which is actually a good thing, because I am nothing but awkward with the people in my science class.

Actual science class isn't as bad, because I just have to sit there and take notes. I honestly don't understand how I can have absolutely no idea what I'm doing the entire unit, and still get good grades on the test (well, not last time--grr). My science class is filled with girls I am not friends with, loser guys, popular guys who are very good at science (or at least copy from the popular guy who is very good at science, and everything else), and like five Asian guys. I prefer to stay out of their way, honestly. I am meeker than in any other class, and am about on par for participation as in Latin (did that sentence make any sense? Bah, whatever). The thing that makes me not despise science is probably that I actually do enjoy the topic to some extent, and more importantly, I have an amazing teacher. My science teacher is easily one of the best teachers I've ever had, if not the best, and probably one of the nicest people I know. It's pretty sad that the guys in the class abuse his niceness by being so disruptive, but we all love him. He's pretty down on himself most of the time. When I mention this to my dad, he says its probably because he used to be an engineer or a chemist or something and is now a science teacher. I don't know if this is true or not, honestly, because he seems to know what he's talking about and seems to really enjoy science in general, but if it is, that would just be sad. I hope I have him for a science class in the future.

Well, those are my classes! I suppose I could talk about the bus or something, except it's 10:50 at night and I was supposed to be in bed an hour ago. Congratulations if you made it this far! Nighty-night!


  1. I enjoyed reading about your entire school day! :D There are a ton of "popular" people that all play lacrosse at my school, too. But at the same time it just strikes me as weird that I consider them popular even though I don't even want to be friends with them... it's just that there are a lot of them and they're all friends with each other and I guess they're all good looking and marginally intelligent and rich, and somehow that makes them popular? I don't even know.

    Anyways, I like math cause of the whole 'one answer' thing too, except my math this year is annoyingly difficult for me. Blah. Oh well. But getting to shoot water balloons doesn't sound so bad! It sounds fun, actually. :D I wish we could do fun labs like that in my physics class.

    Uhhh it's 5:00 AM I don't know why I woke up I should go back to bed...

  2. Wow. You have all those everyday right? See, Utah is different. We have something called the block schedule. Meaning we have 4 periods each day. There's A-Day and then there's B-Day. So we have 4 classes each day that are 90 minutes long.

    Ugh, homeroom sounds terrible. math sounds eh. english, 14 people? yay! latin sounds like a bitch. so sorry about that. :( gym...blah. Eh, i hate school in general so I don't have many positive words to say. Sorry bout it.

    Phten. I don't even know. Seriously...

  3. I get what you mean about putting on a show, but I tend to do it in physics class. Like the time I exclaimed "I'm a mathematical genius!" after finishing a worksheet. It was hilarious.

    Good night!